I would really love to know more about item 16. 
Yeah. I’ve denied boarding to stinky people too. Once was an incontinent person. We had their checked luggage pulled and paramedics helped them get cleaned up. The other time was an indigent person who needed a bath. We have overnight kits we give out at baggage claim with soap, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, tooth brush, etc., for when we lose your stuff… Gave him one of those and the folks who partner with us on our branded Credit Cards donated a tee shirt to the cause. He got himself cleaned up in one of the Family Bathrooms and was inoffensive enough to be allowed aboard the next flight. Thankfully the flight was wide open and I blocked the seat next to him.
He was homeless and making his way back home to family in an effort to get his life back on track. We did our best to help the guy out…
Coolstorybro.
Your novel reminds me of a lecturer I had at Uni; he told me, at drinks the night of my graduation, he would do several bongs before flying and he’d “never stop taking off”. I haven’t tried this myself as I love flying - packing, the airport, take off, everything - but it sounds like a thing many people would enjoy and it may make their fellow passengers’ lives more comfortable too. 
Since this is GQ, I’m going to ask for a cite. This seems like an incredibly dangerous action for the pilot to take. Too little oxygen, and you don’t just pass out, you suffer irreversible brain damage and/or death.
To answer the OP’s question: Yes, airlines regularly deny boarding to those they suspect of being intoxicated.
According to this Wall Street Journal story, roughly 17,000 passengers a year are denied boarding, or 50 a day. The cases aren’t all alcohol related… read the story for more details.
Way more than denied boarding - I know a guy who was permanently banned from an airline - for showing up late and intoxicated. (Although I’m sure that being delaying an international flight and being extremely argumentative entered into the equation).
I saw an obnoxious husband get kicked off a flight once.
The family was flying on Christmas Day…for those you that thought this might be a more pleasant holiday travel experience that flying on Christmas Eve, think again. Every single large family waits until Christmas Day thinking it will be better.
So the plane is full and over half the passengers are young children.
Obnoxious Dad had a plan. He booked ( for his wife, 2 schoolage kids and 2 infants ) a row of three seats plus the aisle seat across the way. He intended to stick his wife and all 4 kids in the 3 seat row leaving him alone across the aisle.
But this wasn’t allowed. Due to the limited number of oxygen masks the most people that are alklowed in any one row is 4.
So the stewardess told Daddy he had to hold one of the infants.
He went ballastic and got very argumentitive and got thrown off the plane…I think his family stayed on, though…the oldest kid took Dads seat and held the baby.
This kind of worries me.
I’m a nervous flier (flyer?) and so the doctor prescribed me anti-anxiety medication. But if I take this medication before boarding, and something happens and it looks like I’m obviously “drugged up”, could they refuse to let me board?
If you have a prescription anxiety medication, you would have to be incapacitated to the point of being unable to evacuate yourself in the event of emergency, before you would have to be worried about being denied boarding.
I found this thread after searching for this topic, because I was denied boarding 2 days ago for appearing intoxicated! Now I’m here to vent!
First, let me say that I used to work for the airlines, as an Asst City Mgr in LGA, overseeing ticket counter, gate, ops, etc., so am very familiar with regs, procedures, etc.
Here’s the scoop: upon arriving to board a 4:45 pm flight, it was announced that there would be a delay until approximately 10:30, as the airline had to fly in a part. Since we were in a smaller airport, and this was the last non-stop out to our destination, we chose to wait it out. So my husband, my two kids (11 & 9) and I went to the restaurant/bar in the terminal. Around 10 p.m., we headed back to the gate – over the course of that 6 hour wait I had 4 glasses of wine and dinner. While waiting in the gate, I laid my head on my husband’s shoulder and nodded off (it was late, I hadn’t had much sleep the night before, etc.). He woke me just after they called our zone for boarding, and we headed down the jetway. I was still very groggy, and as I stepped on the plane, I bent down to pick up my suitcase and tripped over it–I didn’t fall or anything, just stumbled–and the flight attendant asked my husband, “has she been drinking?” He replied that I had four glasses of wine (but forgot to add the part at that time that it was consumed over a 6-hour period, which in no way would have my b.a.c. even close to .05, and .08 is intoxicated, as I recall?). I was more tired than anything, but I also knew not to get argumentative, and just cooperate, and they’d realize they had made a mistake. The F.A. pushed me into the front row and said, “wait there.” They boarded everyone, and I presumed she was going to go talk to the captain, and me again, and it would all be fine. They then asked me to go back to the gate area, and I cooperated, not arguing or anything. My husband came along, and then explained that the drinks were consumed over a 6-hour period, and we had the receipt to prove it, etc., but the F.A. wouldn’t even get the captain or anything. They also had a policeman in the gate area–I offered for him to give me a sobriety test–but they just ignored that…and by this time I was wide awake, and not one sign of intoxication–I could even see it in the cop’s face–he knew I wasn’t drunk, but it was their decision. Then they went and pulled my kids off the plane, and we were all stuck there then! It was the most humiliating experience I’ve ever had. We called the airline the next day, threatened a law suit, explained further, and they refunded all our tickets.
I get that the crewwas probably also crabby from having such a long delay that night, but that was ridiculous…and I’m never flying FL again!
You do know that FL (AirTran) is rapidly becoming WN (Southwest), don’t you? It’ll be hard to avoid them in the near future…
LOL…it’s obviously been a long time since I’ve worked for the airlines…FL used to be code for Frontier…and that’s who I was referring to! I like Southwest!
I would guess that there are multiple variables that come into play, since they’re not testing your blood alcohol content or anything - simply making a subjective assessment. Back when I was hopping flights 2-4 times a week for work, I saw several folks get denied at the gate or in the waiting area. Sometimes they’d even been sitting in the VIP lounge near me just moments before.
I flown pretty well hammered on more than one occasion, but a)I’m not one of those folks whose personality is particularly affected by alcohol; b)since I flew so often, a lot of the gate folks and F/As knew me (not to mentioned the bartenders in the lounge who would start pouring my gin & tonic before I had even gotten up to the bar); c)I think the airline makes a difference.
In regard to item c, if this show is really about SouthWest, I wouldn’t be surprised if they are more stringent than some airlines. Different airlines have different core clientele, and SouthWest aggressively markets itself as a family airline - unassigned seating makes it easier to get your whole brood in the same row or at least adjacent to one another, and low airfares help you avoid declaring bankruptcy over a trip to Disney.
I would also suspect that on the airlines that try to be more accommodating to business travelers, there may be some “profiling.” If that’s the case (and I’m sure it is, to some extent), the greaseball-looking dude with long hair is more likely to have a problem than the boozy dude in a $2000 suit. When I traveled a lot, if I needed to go directly to my client’s office after getting off the plane, I usually looked like a polished professional; if I weren’t doing business until the following day, it was baggy shorts, Birkenstocks, and the grungiest/comfiest t-shirt I have. More than once, the airline folks who were familiar with me would ask if I were going on vacation (of course, sometimes I was). I’m sure they knew that I’d had a few, but was no more likely to be a problem than if I were wearing my suit.
Yes, your assessments of what could be the case are valid, but do not apply to me! (and it was Frontier Airlines, not SW…). I wasn’t drunk, I was extremely tired. Check any blood alcohol chart – I am 5’10" 175 lbs, and had 4 glasses of wine over a 6 hour time period–I could have had EIGHT glasses and still been legal to drive!!! The F/A made a judgment call, and she was wrong. We are wealthy, although not dressed particularly “fine” for the flight. I do not have “attitude” – was not beligerent at all – just sure that after a bit she would realize her mistake, or have the captain come talk to me, but none of that happened! There was even a policeman in the gate area–I said he could give me a sobriety test–but it really wasn’t up to him–the F/A made the call (the WRONG call) and we were ousted. They lost 4 paying seats that night–we got it reimbursed when we threatened a lawsuit, had witnesses, receipts to how much I had actually had to drink, etc., etc…
Christ, I’d never fly if there is a sobriety test. I’ve never had a problem flying, of course the vast majority of that is international.
I’d like to resurrect this old thread to ask a related question, now that new information has come to light.
Now that smoking pot legally is becoming a thing (although the definition of “legally” is somewhat fluid), I’m curious if airlines are diligent about keeping passengers who are high on cannabis off their planes.
If I smoke a big fatty before my next flight and I approach the ticket agent showing all the stereotypical signs of being baked (pink, slanty eyes; a case of the giggles; gnawing voraciously on Cheetos; etc.), am I going to be denied boarding?
Anecdotal only, but IME with brownies, I’ve never had a problem.