# Do churches have rules regarding who can be married there? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [June 28, 2015, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-churches-have-rules-regarding-who-can-be-married-there/723735 "2015-06-28T21:35:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ispolkom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47774/32.png) [@Ispolkom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ispolkom)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2015, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-churches-have-rules-regarding-who-can-be-married-there/723735/61 "2015-07-02T02:45:41Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > it is not uncommon for various fees to depend on whether a person is an active,registered parishioner who financially supports the parish, if he or she simply lives within the boundaries, or if there is no connection to the parish at all. Which was what I tried to suggest in my original statement. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2015, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-churches-have-rules-regarding-who-can-be-married-there/723735/62 "2015-07-02T04:49:05Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Just yesterday, our (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) presiding bishop sent [a letter to members.](http://www.elca.org/News-and-Events/7759) > TLDR, it’s up to the individual ministers and congregations. The LDS Church is sending a letter out to the congregations. > [@](#): > > Marriage between a man and a woman was instituted by God and is central to His plan for His children and for the well‐being of society. (. . .) Changes in the civil law do not, indeed cannot, change the moral law that God has established. (. . .) Consistent with our fundamental beliefs, Church officers will not employ their ecclesiastical authority to perform marriages between two people of the same sex, and the Church does not permit its meetinghouses or other properties to be used for ceremonies, receptions, or other activities associated with same‐sex marriages. TLDR, reaffirms the stance of no same sex marriage allowed in their churches and temples. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2015, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-churches-have-rules-regarding-who-can-be-married-there/723735/63 "2015-07-02T08:19:26Z")
Of course, churches are private clubs. I’m getting married this month and we had the option to get married in my fiance’s parents’ church. We’d have been considered members because his parents are members and he was confirmed/baptized (not sure which) there. But you can have a civil ceremony any old place, which is what we chose to do instead. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2015, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-churches-have-rules-regarding-who-can-be-married-there/723735/64 "2015-07-02T08:56:12Z")
> [@UDS](#): > > But if, in the exercise of a religious ministry, you celebrate weddings, that’s the exercise of religion, and the state cannot compel you to engage in it, either generally or in any specific case. I think he’s saying that a pastor who will allow people outside his religion to pay him to marry them would not be exercising his religion. My issue is more on the side of, what pastor does that? Can they even do civil marriage ceremonies? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2015, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-churches-have-rules-regarding-who-can-be-married-there/723735/65 "2015-07-02T11:09:50Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > My issue is more on the side of, what pastor does that? Can they even do civil marriage ceremonies? I am a minister of the Universal Life Church (headquartered in Modesto, California). I have soleminized the vows of four lovely couples over the years, each more atheistic than the last. Go with gods, T. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2015, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-churches-have-rules-regarding-who-can-be-married-there/723735/66 "2015-07-02T14:00:26Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I am a minister of the Universal Life Church (headquartered in Modesto, California). I have soleminized the vows of four lovely couples over the years, each more atheistic than the last. Go with gods, T. Anyone can become ordained by [The Universal Life Church](http://www.ulc.org/ordination/). It takes roughly 60 seconds to become ordained. G’wan- become a minister while your Keurig churns out your morning brew !! While some like **kayaker** undertake ordination for solid and spiritual reasons, anyone with a keyboard and a few moments can also undertake ordination. To me, this kind of…dilutes the ordination a wee bit. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![lalaith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@lalaith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lalaith)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2015, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-churches-have-rules-regarding-who-can-be-married-there/723735/67 "2015-07-03T19:51:19Z")
I don’t know if the Roman Catholic Church still does it, but my non-Catholic mother had to sign a contract stating any children would be raised Roman Catholic (my father’s religion) before the Catholic Church would let my parents have the sacrament of marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2015, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-churches-have-rules-regarding-who-can-be-married-there/723735/68 "2015-07-03T22:59:28Z")
> [@lalaith](#): > > I don’t know if the Roman Catholic Church still does it, but my non-Catholic mother had to sign a contract stating any children would be raised Roman Catholic (my father’s religion) before the Catholic Church would let my parents have the sacrament of marriage. They do not do that now. They require that the Catholic partner promise to do what is in his power to raise the children Catholic, and they require that the non-Catholic partner be made aware of this promise in a timely fashion…i.e., not the week before the wedding. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2015, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-churches-have-rules-regarding-who-can-be-married-there/723735/69 "2015-07-03T23:00:35Z")
I have attended churches that won’t marry a couple who have had sex before marriage unless they have confessed this sin and stopped. The pastor(s) usually recommend committing to abstaining from sex for months to prove that they have repented and are committed to sexual purity. If you are curious, they ask during marriage counseling, which is required. No, I don’t know what happens if they refuse to answer something like that. I do know that couples who refuse to stop having sex before marriage were politely turned away and told that they could get married elsewhere or come back when they change their mind. No church I have been to(I guess I’m conservative) has married or would marry a same-sex couple. And I don’t believe they’ll have to after the legalization the other day. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2015, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-churches-have-rules-regarding-who-can-be-married-there/723735/70 "2015-07-03T23:50:41Z")
And our assistant rabbi worked for the human rights campaign, lobbying for same sex marriage, before she was hired as an assistant rabbi. I never asked, but I assume she would marry a same-sex couple. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-churches-have-rules-regarding-who-can-be-married-there/723735.md?page=3)