# Do couples who've been together a long time start to resemble each other? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 8, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235 "2011-11-08T01:54:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/1 "2011-11-08T01:54:38Z")
I hear this a lot. My WAG is that couples that have similar features are more likely to stay together longer. Sadly, I don’t have a lot of long lasting relationships in my family to look for evidence for my theory. I’m single. My sister has been married for eleven years. She looks nothing like her husband. They separated for a year before reconciling. My brother has been married eight years. When his wife and he were dating, people mistook them for siblings. They have a very good marriage. Do you look like your SO? How long have you been together? Have you noticed you look more like each other as time goes on? Are you happy together? ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/2 "2011-11-08T02:13:42Z")
I’ve been married 25 years. I’m tall and thin, she’s… not either one of those things. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/3 "2011-11-08T02:16:28Z")
Being married for 35 years did not make my short, dark-haired, dark-skinned, portly mother at all like my tall, light-haired, pale-skinned, skinny dad. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/4 "2011-11-08T02:56:11Z")
We’ll be married 31 years next week. So far as I can tell, I have not turned into a petite Asian-American, nor has she morphed into a taller, balding Caucasian. To answer your other question, yes, we are happy together.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/5 "2011-11-08T03:42:15Z")
My boyfriend and I couldn’t resemble each other any less if we tried. He’s tall and Irish and I’m short and Korean. Even among the same race couples I know, I can’t really think of any who particularly resemble each other. ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/6 "2011-11-08T07:20:32Z")
I don’t have a SO, so I can’t answer there. What I have noticed though is that more than resembling each other in a physical way to a SO, it is often mannerisms that become similar. They do for me. I tend to pick up ways of talking, or laughing from people whom I spend a lot of time with. I don’t do it deliberately, it just happens. Not to say that I don’t have my own traits that will stay for the duration and not change. I was talking to a friend about this at work the other day, it happens to her, too. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/7 "2011-11-08T07:24:53Z")
Not at all. After 24 years, he’s still tall and skinny, and I’m still average height and overweight. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/8 "2011-11-08T17:23:41Z")
I think the answer to the OP’s question is: Yes, sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/9 "2011-11-08T17:26:22Z")
It was definitely true for my parents. My dad has always been overweight, but my mom was quite thin when she married him (according to their wedding photo). Now they’re both very plump. ---
**Author:** ![BTEzra04](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9f8e36/32.png) [@BTEzra04](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BTEzra04)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/10 "2011-11-08T17:36:43Z")
I’m blonde-haired, blue-eyed. He’s got blue eyes too, and some blond hair, but it’s the kind that darkened as he grew up–so now it’s more a dark brown with golden flecks everywhere. He’s officially blond, from what his driver’s license says. One of our mutual friends said we looked like siblings in a picture from our first Christmas together. So…maybe. I do agree with what Scootergirl said though, about mannerisms becoming the same. Probably something to do with sharing so many experiences. Sometimes I find myself adapting his sense of humor to certain situations. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/11 "2011-11-08T17:37:37Z")
After decades together, many couples look old. ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/12 "2011-11-08T17:58:48Z")
Can agree with other posters on mannerisms, quirks, even verbal similarities. But appearance - though I would love to be taller and thinner, it has not yet happened! But man oh man do we have a lot of similar mannerisms now! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/13 "2011-11-08T18:26:39Z")
Clearly selection basis. You only notice the ones that do resemble each other. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/14 "2011-11-08T18:29:24Z")
Mixed race couple here, and yeah, we don’t look anything alike. We have picked up similar expressions, though, and body language. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-couples-whove-been-together-a-long-time-start-to-resemble-each-other/602235/15 "2011-11-08T18:29:43Z")
Resemble? Hell, we can barely sit in the same room.