# Do dopers ever advise people to stay together?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-dopers-ever-advise-people-to-stay-together/579762>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 26, 2011, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-dopers-ever-advise-people-to-stay-together/579762 "2011-04-26T13:14:47Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\
**Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-dopers-ever-advise-people-to-stay-together/579762/41 "2011-04-28T00:04:23Z")

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> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#):
>
> ISTM that the posters on this board tend to skew young, and hence naive about a lot of of life.

In the current who was president when you were born thread/poll, 60+% of the posters that voted were born during Nixon admin. or earlier. That’s late thirties or older. How old do you have to be before you stop being young and naive?

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**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\
**Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-dopers-ever-advise-people-to-stay-together/579762/42 "2011-04-28T00:06:40Z")

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> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#):
>
> As far as I know, Diogenes The Cynic is on his first marriage, a happy marriage, a marriage that’s lasted over a decade. From now on, let’s all get all our relationship advice on the SDMB from him.

It’s easy to stay together in a happy marriage, but it takes more work and skill when it isn’t always happy…and I guarantee you that no marriage has been a perfectly happy marriage for the duration of a couple’s lives. I’ve been almost married 25 years in our first marriage now, and it’s been nothing but a rollercoaster ride. Some years happy, some not so happy, others…ok. It really comes down to whether or not you want to stick to your vows in the not-so-happy phases of your marriage.

Also, any advice I’ve given usually asks the OP to seek counseling before actually splitting, except for abuse and alcoholism which is more of a primary concern, safety-wise. Sometimes a third party is a fair and safe way to discuss your issues in the relationship. It can be a great help if both parties enter it with an open mind and a willingness to work on yourself and not get hooked on resentment issues. If it can’t be worked out after that, then your marriage is more than likely going to keep sliding towards divorce or separation.

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