# Do Females Play With Their Hair When They Are Attracted to a Male? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 4, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833 "2008-08-04T19:03:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/1 "2008-08-04T19:03:24Z")
This isn’t about me so don’t think or comment on it that way. This is just an example. I used to be somewhat attractive when I was younger and then the tolls of aging set in. I am 35 now. I have tried to get in really good shape and take care of myself over the past few months and it is working. Again, this isn’t about me. I work in a building with 1,300 people on one very large floor. I noticed that females seem to play with their hair as they walk past any remotely attractive male. It has literally happened to me 3 times in the two hours including 2 minutes ago which is why I am writing this. There aren’t many people walking around this time a day so these are one on one encounters walking past each other. I started watching what happens any young, fit males as they pass females and the same thing happens. I know that females don’t whip their ponytails, move their hair along both sides of their forehead, or comb their hair backwards with their fingers all day so something is up. It could be confirmation bias but it seems too common for that. Ladies, do you mess with your hair if you pass someone you find attractive? Do you know if you are doing it? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/2 "2008-08-04T19:06:51Z")
Yep. Although I tend to play with my hair a lot anyway. It’s unconscious, though. I only notice it when my hand’s halfway through it already. Then I feel self conscious about looking the The Breck Girl and coming on too strong and I turn into a total dork. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/3 "2008-08-04T19:22:14Z")
I remember in Psych classes discussing that any kind of preening gesture (playing with or straightening hair, smoothing clothes, straightening (your own) tie) is often subconscious way of flirting. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/4 "2008-08-04T19:22:21Z")
Don’t read too much into it, because its generally unconscious - which means that married women who are NOT flirting with you and have no intention of dating you might play with their hair if they are attracted to you (or if they just conditioned it and it feels really soft, or they got a new cut, or its in their eyes, or…I play with mine when I’m thinking) It evidence someone is attracted to you - its a long way from proof that they are interested in you. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/5 "2008-08-04T19:27:04Z")
[QUOTE=Dangerosa] (or if they just conditioned it and it feels really soft, or they got a new cut, or its in their eyes, or…I play with mine when I’m thinking) [/QUOTE] Hell, I’m a GUY and when I had long hair you couldn’t keep me from playing with the stuff. Sometimes it just falls under the category of “it’s there, it’s flexible, and it gives me something to do with my hands.” Or maybe I just have ADD and need to be occupied at all times. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/6 "2008-08-04T19:28:02Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] I know that females don’t whip their ponytails, move their hair along both sides of their forehead, or comb their hair backwards with their fingers all day so something is up. [/QUOTE] Err… I do. I literally fidget with my hair constantly. I’m putting it up, or taking it down, or examining the ends, or combing my hands through it, or tossing it over my shoulder, or gnawing on it, or or or. Actually I know a lot of women who fiddle with their hair somewhat compulsively. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/7 "2008-08-04T20:48:15Z")
I tend to twist one particular curl when I am feeling attracted or flirting with someone. It’s on the left side of my head, bottom of the hairline if you are interested. I used to do it without thinking, but now I’m very aware of it when I do it. Hey, it’s better than when I used to flirt by walking around in my clapboard, ringing my bell. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/8 "2008-08-04T21:07:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Hey, it’s better than when I used to flirt by walking around in my clapboard, ringing my bell. “Listen to that racket! **ShelliBean** must be horny again!” ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/9 "2008-08-04T21:39:38Z")
I’m so clueless, a female could play with _my_ hair and I still wouldn’t get the hint… ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/10 "2008-08-04T21:44:50Z")
Female, 36, currently married and checking in here – I don’t and never have played with my hair when around attractive boys/guys/men. I always saw it as a nervous habit in other girls and never quite got it, but assumed it was just preening. I’m weird, though, I prefer to be appreciated for my brains rather than my boobs. I have actually noticed recently that I tend to start messing with my hair when I am bored or uninterested. Take that with the reminder that I know I am odd. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/11 "2008-08-04T22:03:25Z")
I play with my hair if I’m talking \*over the computer \*with someone I find attractive. That’s how big of a dork I am. It’s definitely nearly subconscious, but when I become aware that I’m doing it, I’m like, “OMG, I’m being a Barbie!” and I stop. ---
**Author:** ![PastAllReason](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f07891/32.png) [@PastAllReason](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastAllReason)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/12 "2008-08-04T22:14:21Z")
Sometimes playing with hair is just playing with hair. I tend towards the kinesthetic when absorbing information. When I’m thinking I will do such things as make notes, play with my jewellry, doodle, or play with my hair (which is just short of waist length). When I’m doing any of the above at work, I am certainly not flirting with any of my co-workers. ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/13 "2008-08-04T22:19:04Z")
[QUOTE=PastAllReason] Sometimes playing with hair is just playing with hair. I tend towards the kinesthetic when absorbing information. When I’m thinking I will do such things as make notes, play with my jewellry, doodle, or play with my hair (which is just short of waist length). When I’m doing any of the above at work, I am certainly not flirting with any of my co-workers. [/QUOTE] I’m the same way (except I have much shorter hair). I’m rather fidgety in general, and playing with my hair is one of my fidgets. ---
**Author:** ![Pollux\_Oil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/858c86/32.png) [@Pollux\_Oil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pollux_Oil)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/14 "2008-08-04T22:26:07Z")
[QUOTE=Jragon] Hell, I’m a GUY and when I had long hair you couldn’t keep me from playing with the stuff. Sometimes it just falls under the category of “it’s there, it’s flexible, and it gives me something to do with my hands.” Or maybe I just have ADD and need to be occupied at all times. [/QUOTE] I have the same problem. I’m a guy and ever since I decided I liked having substantial facial hair, I always am messing with it subconsciously. People who see me must either think I’m an evil mastermind or I’m constantly having strokes of genius. Or both! ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/15 "2008-08-04T22:45:54Z")
[QUOTE=Litoris] Female, 36, currently married and checking in here – I don’t and never have played with my hair when around attractive boys/guys/men. I always saw it as a nervous habit in other girls and never quite got it, but assumed it was just preening. I’m weird, though, I prefer to be appreciated for my brains rather than my boobs. [/QUOTE] I do not understand how those things are connected. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/16 "2008-08-05T05:53:31Z")
Female, 30, happily married, and I play with my hair _all_ the time. In front of attractive men, unattractive men, women of every variety, kids, animals, alone, in front of my husband, in front of my father in law, in front of my mom… I’m friggin’ flagrant. It’s soft, pleasant to touch, fly-away hair. It _needs_ to be touched. My husband agrees. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bundykala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@bundykala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bundykala)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/17 "2008-08-05T06:32:42Z")
I’m 18, have waist length hair and am another who _does_ constantly play with it, partly out of necessity (it gets in the way!) and partly just because it’s something to do with my hands. When it’s windy I like to have it under control by combing through it with my fingers and holding onto it. I also occasionally tie it into one big knot at the end and use it as a “hairy copter” or mace. When I’m not playing with it, other people often grab the opportunity to do so. I’ve been put into a noose of my own hair, been whipped by it, had it tied to a doorknob, pulled, mussed up and also just plaited and stroked. Does this mean the people who do these things are attracted to _me_? I really hope not, because my brother’s one of them. Then again, so was my ex. 🙂 Actually, thinking back to him, maybe I _am_ guilty of a little flirty preening… ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/18 "2008-08-05T07:17:36Z")
[QUOTE=bundykala] I’m 18, have waist length hair and am another who _does_ constantly play with it, partly out of necessity (it gets in the way!) and partly just because it’s something to do with my hands. When it’s windy I like to have it under control by combing through it with my fingers and holding onto it. I also occasionally tie it into one big knot at the end and use it as a “hairy copter” or mace. When I’m not playing with it, other people often grab the opportunity to do so. I’ve been put into a noose of my own hair, been whipped by it, had it tied to a doorknob, pulled, mussed up and also just plaited and stroked. Does this mean the people who do these things are attracted to _me_? I really hope not, because my brother’s one of them. Then again, so was my ex. 🙂 Actually, thinking back to him, maybe I _am_ guilty of a little flirty preening.. [/QUOTE] Do they throw some of it over your head to cover your face and say “look! It’s cousin It!” Because, that’s like the poster child gag against people with really long hair. And they love every minute of it. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![bundykala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@bundykala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bundykala)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/19 "2008-08-05T07:24:15Z")
[QUOTE=Jragon] Do they throw some of it over your head to cover your face and say “look! It’s cousin It!” [/QUOTE] It’s the wrong colour for that. But my [Samara](http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t168/the_undead_circus/samara.jpg) impression is to die for! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833/20 "2008-08-05T07:57:36Z")
[QUOTE=bundykala] It’s the wrong colour for that. But my [Samara](http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t168/the_undead_circus/samara.jpg) impression is to die for! 😃 [/QUOTE] You must be a riot at sleepovers, I mean, just bring some dirty clothes, steal the remote when no one’s looking, put the hair over your head and wait until everyone’s asleep… And of course by “riot” I mean “causes murders, suicides, and midnight riots in the streets from scaring the ever living Jesus out of people.” 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-females-play-with-their-hair-when-they-are-attracted-to-a-male/458833.md?page=2)