# Do foreigners want Americans to know their cultures or not?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [March 5, 2016, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003 "2016-03-05T15:47:23Z")
**Posts on this page:** 17
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [March 6, 2016, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/61 "2016-03-06T13:24:58Z")
Didn’t read the other responses.
If you ask me to recommend music from my country, I’ll warn you that I’m not up to date and ask what kind of music are you interested in.
If you ask me to dance flamenco for you, and depending on legal and laboral consequences, I may:
- tell you to kiss my ass,
- ask how good your square dancing is (this is valid only for people whom I know do not square dance),
- get a sudden attack of deafness,
- or play [verigüés fandango](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8k7tAOysWDE) (but still not dance it).
The first request indicates curiosity, the second one is being a jerk.
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### Author:  [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/62 "2016-03-07T06:21:46Z")
But what IS culture?
If you go to a cultural fair you will see people doing “traditional” dances for that culture and in native costumes. But in reality that stuff is just as foreign to the people in those countries as it is to Americans.
I was surprised that most Asians do not know karate. I knew 2 girls from China who had never heard of Bruce Lee.
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### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/63 "2016-03-07T12:54:47Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#):
>
> If you go to a cultural fair you will see people doing “traditional” dances for that culture and in native costumes. But in reality that stuff is just as foreign to the people in those countries as it is to Americans.
It may be, but not necessarily: I can’t dance flamenco (wrong end of the country) or the ezpatadantza (wrong sex), but I do dance the jota de la era, jota de Tudela, jota de Astráin (anybody seeing a pattern?)… as well as sardanas. Not on demand, though; those things have to be done in context and “some dude wants to see me hop and turn” ain’t it.
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### Author:  [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/64 "2016-03-07T13:59:44Z")
At this year’s Burns Night dinner, one of the guests noticed my last name and decided that since my father’s family had come from Ukraine then I must be concerned with and informed about what is happening in the Crimea.
I am not.
My grandfather had a very good reason to leave that country, all remaining relatives we had there disappeared during Stalin’s reign, and there are any number of other problem areas in the world today which I consider to be more important to global peace. It was damn annoying that someone assumed that I would be involved in something just because of where my ancestors came from (and I identify more with my mother’s side of the family anyway – thus the Burns Night).
I can only imagine how badly this type of imposition would become if it happened in a regular fashion.
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### Author:  [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/65 "2016-03-07T14:42:54Z")
> [@LC\_Strawhouse](#):
>
> Hey, maybe it does come down to a personality thing and I’m basically Otto from **A Fish Called Wanda** 🙂 … but I’d personally find it a bit embarrassing to pull the “how dare you ask me anything, can’t you see I’m a unique snowflake” routine. It actually can be kind of fun and rewarding to be a resource for other people.
But you’re often asking people to be resources on things they aren’t resources on. It’s like if you asked someone who took one anatomy class in college to look at a rash you have and diagnose various medical ailments you have.
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### Author:  [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/66 "2016-03-07T14:54:17Z")
I can’t help feeling the OP is being purposely obtuse.
The persons he’s asking, ‘where they’re from’, are all visible minorities.
And then pretending it’s the same as answering questions about separatism in Quebec!
He’s selecting people to ask, because, ‘they don’t look like they’re from around here!’ Then asking where they ‘come from’, assuming they couldn’t be born in the USA ! Because of how they look!
Sorry, I just can’t take the OP seriously.
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### Author:  [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/67 "2016-03-07T15:08:07Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#):
>
> But what IS culture?
>
> If you go to a cultural fair you will see people doing “traditional” dances for that culture and in native costumes. But in reality that stuff is just as foreign to the people in those countries as it is to Americans.
A good question, but not an unanswerable one. 90% of culture is about relationships. How do families and kinship structures work? How are communities bound together? How does gender and age work? What power structures are there? How do institutions work? What is the relationship to religion? What is the relationship to the natural world?
The other 10% is the window dressing-- language, food, clothing, etc. Even then, most of these are about relationships as well. Traditional ethnic clothing is often about showing that you are the people from THIS side of the river, and not those uncouth barbarians on that side of the river.
As for festivals-- you don’t go around wearing your finest clothes and dancing on a daily basis, do you? We trot out our dances and fine clothing for things like holidays, weddings, rites of passage and other major events as well.
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### Author:  [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/68 "2016-03-07T15:30:18Z")
What about painting yourself blue for a ball game, tailgating in a parking lot. Funny clothes, food, rituals!
Culture?
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### Author:  [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/69 "2016-03-07T17:13:08Z")
I tend to think that if you’re not ignorant and/or stereotypical about it, almost all immigrants are more than willing to talk about their backgrounds, and usually to recommend local ethnic restaurants and nightclubs, etc…
Sincere respectful curiosity is almost always welcomed, and so is not bringing up hot-button topics (while I’m on the subject). So if you meet an Indian, it’s a bad idea to bring up the numerous high-profile rapes. Or if you’re talking to a Mexican, don’t start asking him why it is that we can’t drink the water. That kind of thing comes across as a thinly veiled insult, and with a certain expectation that you’re fishing for them to say “We suck.”
But if you were to say something like “I read a crazy article about dabba wallahs in India. Are those guys really able to do that?”, the Indian guy is unlikely to view that as an insult.
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### Author:  [@LC\_Strawhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LC_Strawhouse)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/70 "2016-03-07T17:14:21Z")
> [@elbows](#):
>
> I can’t help feeling the OP is being purposely obtuse.
>
> The persons he’s asking, ‘where they’re from’, are all visible minorities.
>
> And then pretending it’s the same as answering questions about separatism in Quebec!
>
> He’s selecting people to ask, because, ‘they don’t look like they’re from around here!’ Then asking where they ‘come from’, assuming they couldn’t be born in the USA ! Because of how they look!
>
> Sorry, I just can’t take the OP seriously.
Huh? I specifically said that I mostly interact with other Caucasians.
Look, I get that people want to blend in. But on the other hand why then are westerners constantly criticized for being insular? I’ve heard the cliche a ton of times about not knowing that other countries exist / can’t find them on the map (or if we can, we allegedly know nothing about their cultures and don’t care to learn)
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### Author:  [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/71 "2016-03-07T18:55:50Z")
Because none of these other Westerners, regardless of their skin tone, have any obligation to amuse or educate you about the quaint customs of their grandparents ’ old homes.
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### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/72 "2016-03-07T19:20:28Z")
Westerners does not equal Americans, nor does either one equal ignorant, impolite assholes.
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### Author:  [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/73 "2016-03-07T19:33:57Z")
> [@LC\_Strawhouse](#):
>
> Look, I get that people want to blend in. But on the other hand why then are westerners constantly criticized for being insular? I’ve heard the cliche a ton of times about not knowing that other countries exist / can’t find them on the map (or if we can, we allegedly know nothing about their cultures and don’t care to learn)
The problem is that you are assuming “ancestral homeland” equals “culture”, and it does not. Take my husband, for example. His parents are from an Asian country, but he was born in the United States, and has lived here his entire life. He barely speaks the language of the Asian country, and when he does so, it’s with a noticeable American accent. He has never visited this Asian country, nor any part of Asia, for that matter. He has some extended family there, whom he hasn’t spoken with since he was a child. He has no more interest in or knowledge of the politics, music, or art of this country than any other American - in fact, considerably less than many Americans. And why would he? After all, his parents moved to the U.S. when themselves they were very young, and they’ve lived here more than twice as long as they ever did in the Asian country. They themselves haven’t visited it in decades. The only aspect of the Asian country’s culture they still engage in regularly is the cuisine - and even then, it’s the version of the cuisine they knew when they left umpteen years ago, so if you’re looking for advice on a really “authentic” meal, just like you had on your last trip to the Asian country, they’ll be no help to you.
Here’s the kicker: the United States and Canada are chock-full of folks like my husband and his parents, not to mention third- and fourth-generation people, and those who go even farther back than that. And they vastly outnumber the folks who arrived recently enough that they still claim another country’s culture as their own, or indeed, know anything about it. So the chances that any random “foreign-looking” person you see is actually an immigrant are not great. And (as has already been pointed out over and over and over) all of this is setting aside the other huge-and-wrong assumption that any country has a single “culture”. So if you’re walking up to a stranger and telling them what you know about “their” culture based on how they look or where their parents (or grandparents, or great-grandparents) are from, you’re going to be wrong the majority of the time.
If you’re really concerned about being insular and wanting to increase your understanding of other countries and cultures, then listen. Don’t tell, don’t ask, don’t assume, just listen.
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### Author:  [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/74 "2016-03-07T19:43:22Z")
> [@Miller](#):
>
> Now, all of those people (well, except the dicks) are trying to be friendly. But what they’re doing, every time, is saying, “You’re not white. You’re different. Explain to us your strange and exotic ways!”
YES!! Definitely this. I am an Asian-American (Pakistan is Asia, and yes, I’ve had people argue with me that I am not an Asian-American because I’m not from East Asia, it’s very annoying), but I don’t usually refer to myself as that except on official forms or when asked and I decide to answer. A lot of the time when I am asked where I’m from I reply “New Jersey” - as that is where I was born and raised. I have visited Pakistan, I can speak very simply Urdu, but I’m an American. The “Where are you from”, “No, where are you really from” is incredible annoying - I feel it is designed to make me feel like an ‘other’. Now, one can ask the question without being so insulting - I feel that “Where is your family from” or “Where is your heritage” works better.
And yes, I’ve had people ask me right out “When did you move to this country”, even though I have no subcontinental accent at all. I don’t even have much of a Jersey accent - I sound basically flat Midwesterner with a tinge of Southern (I’ve been in Atlanta for over 10 years), with the Jersey coming out when I’m really tired and only for a handful of words (water and coffee mostly, if you are wondering).
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### Author:  [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/75 "2016-03-07T19:51:09Z")
> [@even\_sven](#):
>
> A good question, but not an unanswerable one. 90% of culture is about relationships. How do families and kinship structures work? How are communities bound together? How does gender and age work? What power structures are there? How do institutions work? What is the relationship to religion? What is the relationship to the natural world?
>
> The other 10% is the window dressing-- language, food, clothing, etc. Even then, most of these are about relationships as well. Traditional ethnic clothing is often about showing that you are the people from THIS side of the river, and not those uncouth barbarians on that side of the river.
>
> As for festivals-- you don’t go around wearing your finest clothes and dancing on a daily basis, do you? We trot out our dances and fine clothing for things like holidays, weddings, rites of passage and other major events as well.
Thats all true. Like I might ask a person from a foreign country what they learned in school, what their tax rates are, what tv shows they watch, etc… Often answers are rather boring. For example I asked a man from England what they ate on camping trips and it was pretty much just Americans hot dogs and hamburgers.
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### Author:  [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2016, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/76 "2016-03-07T22:20:00Z")
Of course they do. That’s why they write books. Read one. Stop hounding random people about stuff they may or may not know anything about. Just go to a library and look up “China” or “South Africa” or whatever. You can learn all you want, from the people who experienced it, and not offend anybody. But something tells me learning isn’t the point of this thread.
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### Author:  [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2016, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-foreigners-want-americans-to-know-their-cultures-or-not/748003/77 "2016-03-08T01:36:40Z")
> [@LC\_Strawhouse](#):
>
> Huh? I specifically said that I mostly interact with other Caucasians.
>
> Look, I get that people want to blend in. But on the other hand why then are westerners constantly criticized for being insular?
I think I know why _you’re_ criticized for being insular.
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