# Do gays really just hurt themselves with "blatant" advertising? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [June 19, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660 "2012-06-19T17:24:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/121 "2012-06-20T20:06:40Z")
That was a really chaste kiss, and very sweet. But then, your friend wouldn’t be surprised at be thinking that, big old gayer that I am. But the point is that people sholdn’t be shocked by something as mild as a chaste kiss. It’s OK if, like Astro, you’re mildly squicked, because it’s not like we can all simply throw off the homophobia we grew up with. But getting over that mild squick will be helped by such adverts, not harmed - it normalises it. As for the drag queens and such at Pride parades - well, I used to be a bit annoyed by them and wish there were more ‘normal’ gay people in the forefront of parades (such people make up the vastmajority of the people at Pride parades, but ordinary people walking along in jeans and t-shirts make for a boring photograph). But Pride is about promoting equality for _all_ gay people, not just the ones who can pass for straight. And it’s also a carnival, for dressing up and having fun. Does anyone watch the Notting Hill Carnival and think all Afro-Caribbean women walk around with giant headresses on? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/122 "2012-06-20T20:11:49Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > It might matter to the extent that it’s relevant to what **RNATB** had originally written, and then deleted. > > Probably not worth making an issue of it. It didn’t have anything to do with anything I wrote. I hadn’t even posted in the thread yet. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/123 "2012-06-20T20:22:59Z")
> [@Valteron](#): > > Well, telling gays they cannot do what straight people have done a hundred million times in movies and TV and which they do by the millions in public places every day does imply something unequal, don’t you think? Of course there ARE places where deep kissing is inappropriate. In church, in the aisle of a grocery store, in line at the DMV, you name it. But this video shows a homecoming, in which people are greeting returning combatants. I think we all agree that it is normal and appropriate for straights to deep kiss in such a situation. > > I do not fault you for feeling uncomfortable. You are what you are and you feel what you feel. But do you think your reaction to the lip lock would diminish if you saw that kind of thing more often? I feel the same way **astro** did. I loved the commercial otherwise. I wish I was fine with two guys or two girls kissing, but it sets off a “weird” or “should I be watching this?” feeling. Not a huge fan of hetero couples kissing, either. Even on a sitcom, I’m like, gaah. I guess I couldn’t help but to feel there was a slight…shock…factor going on. Like, yes, now we are k-i-s-s-i-n-g. In slow mo. (: I liked the message, though! ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/124 "2012-06-20T20:32:17Z")
Oh, and because it’s kind of relevant to the thread: [Marine kissing boyfriend](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/27/us-marine-kissing-his-boyfriend-photo_n_1303848.html) ---
**Author:** ![NiceGuyJack](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/niceguyjack/32/3069_2.png) [@NiceGuyJack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NiceGuyJack)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/125 "2012-06-20T21:19:45Z")
Almost 50 years ago and the following was considered outrageous. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/cDp1sAx09pg/hqdefault.jpg "TV's first interracial kiss") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDp1sAx09pg) Eventually gays kissing will no longer be considered odd. ---
**Author:** ![Valteron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f17d59/32.png) [@Valteron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valteron)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/126 "2012-06-21T03:24:49Z")
> [@Farmer\_Jane](#): > > Like, yes, now we are k-i-s-s-i-n-g. In slow mo. Slow **MO**??? Is that a joke?😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/127 "2012-06-21T03:51:41Z")
> [@Candyman74](#): > > Just seems odd that it was worthy of comment when he thought it was a British person, but not when he realised it was a Canadian. That isn’t what happened. I thought the friend was British, only realized afterward that the _video_ was British and the friend’s nationality was not given, hence my retraction. ---
**Author:** ![D-bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@D-bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D-bear)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/128 "2012-06-21T08:52:49Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > You don’t see any difference between a black character simply appearing on television and two people kissing in a political advocacy commercial? Read your history books. In 1950 a black person was strictly forbidden to drink from a WHITE only drink fountain. They couldn’t sit at the same Woolworth lunch counter. They had to sit in the back of the bus so white folks could have the seats in the front. If you can’t see the similarities, then you really chose your membership name appropriately… ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/129 "2012-06-21T13:52:10Z")
If you can’t see the differences, perhaps we should trade. ---
**Author:** ![D-bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@D-bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D-bear)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/130 "2012-06-21T23:34:27Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > If you can’t see the differences, perhaps we should trade. I’m too emotionally connected to the issue to remain completely civil, and I apologize if I came across snarky. I’m gonna just agree to disagree and go back to my regularly scheduled programming… ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/131 "2012-06-22T13:49:31Z")
Fair enough. Hug? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/132 "2012-06-22T13:54:23Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > And it’s also a carnival, for dressing up and having fun. Does anyone watch the Notting Hill Carnival and think all Afro-Caribbean women walk around with giant headresses on? Most people don’t, but I know someone so stupid he was sincerely surprised to discover that Rio’s Carnavales are not year-round: cariocas do not walk around in skimpy-bodied, big-sleeved, mega-hatted, shiny costumes all year round! Never underestimate the boundaries of human stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/133 "2012-06-25T15:48:58Z")
> [@astro](#): > > You are now straining every muscle to contort that statement into my taking a position that is dismissive of gay sensibilities vs being an opinion about the potential effectiveness of the commercial. If you deem my opinion about the effectiveness of the commercial as a piece of message advertising politically “unuseful” that’s a tragedy, but one I will struggle to live with. Thank you for standing up for yourself rather than backing down as many do. It’s responses like you were getting, that completely ignored everything you said just to call you a bigot that hurt he cause. And I say that as someone who calls out bigotry when I see it: thing is, I know to do it to people who think it’s acceptable, not to someone who is trying to help. And the corresponding 1950s version of what astro said would be the people saying they shouldn’t run the video with the guy at home being an African American woman, and it would only be because the public wouldn’t accept it. And guess what? That’s exactly what happened. Hasn’t turned out too shabby, now has it? It’s basic psychology, particularly reponse avoidance. Gradually introduce it, and give people time to get used to each gradual part. Flood them, and they wind up more resolute in their actions. I personally would have had no problem with the ad had they not zoomed in on the guy’s face. And, yes, the same thing bugs me anytime I see any two people kiss and I’m not attracted to at least one of them. that’s why I watch lesbian porn. ---
**Author:** ![mister\_nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@mister\_nyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_nyx)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/134 "2012-06-25T16:14:34Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > It’s responses like you were getting, that completely ignored everything you said just to call you a bigot that hurt he cause. Exactly what qualifies you to say what helps or hurts the “cause”? What, in particular, do you know that enables you to make these judgments? What is you expertise? > [@](#): > > that’s why I watch lesbian porn. . . . ahh. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/135 "2012-06-25T16:37:01Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > So now we’ve seen a video that shows a guy coming home from war and embracing and kissing his partner . . . precisely what we’ve seen straight people doing every time anyone comes home from war. And somehow people get offended by this, because it reinforces a stereotype? … > > The message is clear: The portrayal of us merely existing is offensive. We shouldn’t be seen or heard, we should go back to being invisible, like we were back in the '50s. That will make the bigots happy. > > Well, don’t hold your breath. Out of this whole thread, I think this is the issue. Don’t offend delicate sensibilities. Be invisible. Keep the bigots happy. By Jove I think you’ve got it! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/136 "2012-06-25T16:46:42Z")
> [@mister\_nyx](#): > > Exactly what qualifies you to say what helps or hurts the “cause”? The fact that the OP asked. ---
**Author:** ![mister\_nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@mister\_nyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_nyx)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/137 "2012-06-25T16:56:05Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > The fact that the OP asked. The OP asked whether astro was a bigot? Gosh, I must have misread it completely! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/138 "2012-06-25T16:58:12Z")
Well, you certainly misread your _own_ post completely. ---
**Author:** ![mister\_nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@mister\_nyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_nyx)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660/139 "2012-06-25T17:03:13Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Well, you certainly misread your _own_ post completely. I’m sorry? BigT made a bunch of noises about how mean it would be to call astro a “bigot” (despite the fact that no one had done so). He also said it “hurt [t]he cause”. I rolled my eyes and asked what qualified him to make that judgment. Is it actually your contention that the original topic of the thread was whether or not it “hurt[s] [t]he cause” to call astro a bigot? Because if not, this quote here: [QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] The fact that the OP asked. [/QUOTE] doesn’t make any sense at all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-gays-really-just-hurt-themselves-with-blatant-advertising/625660.md?page=6)