# Do I call back a second time? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 5, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299 "2011-09-05T19:55:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/21 "2011-09-07T02:32:48Z")
Don’t you dare call her. She said she’d call you. That means two thing: One, if she calls she’s interested, and if she isn’t, she won’t, and she’s expecting you to take the hint. Two, it means don’t you dare call her! 'I’ll call you" means…_I’ll_ call _you_ (not.)" She sent you a very clear message, without the wonders of telecommunication! You’ve interpreted the situation correctly. Calling her again doesn’t make you creepy, but, it does show that one is a dork/clueless. She’s wasted enough of your time. Can’t help you on the ‘fish in the sea’ scenario. hh ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/22 "2011-09-07T02:42:42Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > Go for it, but I think you’re right in interpreting her first blow off as non-interest. The lack of return phone call added to the hug at the end of your first date is what’s tipping me off. But there’s only one way to find out for sure, so call her and let us know how it turns out. I think this is the best post of this thread; simple, good advice along with an accurate reading of the situation described in the OP. You have nothing to lose by calling a second time, but don’t build up any unrealistic expectations of her possible responses. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/23 "2011-09-07T02:46:10Z")
> [@Martin\_Hyde](#): > > It’s true that it’s impossible to tell which quadrant your lady friend is in, and if she’s not interested any further attempts to contact may make her think even less of you… I can’t say I’ve ever thought less of a guy for making that one follow-up call. > [@handsomeharry](#): > > Calling her again doesn’t make you creepy, but, it does show that one is a dork/clueless. See above. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/24 "2011-09-07T02:50:37Z")
Do some mature women still like being chased when it comes to courting ? From the on line adds I peruse there’s one thing that appears to be a constant amongst woman. “no head games” I’m the same, if she said she’d call and doesn’t. I’m assuming she’s not interested and move on. ---
**Author:** ![Merejane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@Merejane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merejane)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/25 "2011-09-07T02:59:26Z")
Post deleted. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/26 "2011-09-07T03:01:43Z")
> [@Merejane](#): > > Aoklqw 😕wha?😕 lmfao? ---
**Author:** ![Merejane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@Merejane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merejane)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/27 "2011-09-07T03:10:14Z")
^^ Honestly, no one could have been more surprised than I was to see that I had apparently posted! I was just reading along in the thread, interested but with no urge to contribute my two cents, when I come upon a nonsensical post with my username!!! My cat had crossed my keyboard a couple times in the last minute or two (it’s on his way from one favorite resting place to another), so all I can figure is that he somehow did this? Not quite sure if that is really possible, but I have no other explanation! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/28 "2011-09-07T03:14:34Z")
Either that or it’s a ghost kitty! ---
**Author:** ![OneMissedPost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e7dd6/32.png) [@OneMissedPost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneMissedPost)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/29 "2011-09-07T03:21:19Z")
If she was really interested in you, she would have kissed you on the first date… at least a kiss on the cheek. I’m afraid a friend hug doesn’t cut it as “interested.” ---
**Author:** ![OneMissedPost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e7dd6/32.png) [@OneMissedPost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneMissedPost)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/30 "2011-09-07T03:24:09Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > Do some mature women still like being chased when it comes to courting ? > > From the on line adds I peruse there’s one thing that appears to be a constant amongst woman. “no head games” > > I’m the same, if she said she’d call and doesn’t. I’m assuming she’s not interested and move on. Online dating has never worked for me. I think it is just better to meet women in person and get the number the ol’ fashioned way. I ran into a lot of psychos on dating sites (this is from my experience only). ---
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/31 "2011-09-07T03:27:40Z")
> [@OneMissedPost](#): > > If she was really interested in you, she would have kissed you on the first date… at least a kiss on the cheek. I’m afraid a friend hug doesn’t cut it as “interested.” I’ve gone on to have sex with women who I didn’t even hug on the first date. It’s odd but yeah, some people aren’t high on physical contact. Hell, one in particular we went out twice and never made more than brief incidental contact and on the third date we slept together, so like 99% of these rules I’ve heard in my life, it isn’t a rule at all just a reflection of the person espousing it and their experiences. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/32 "2011-09-07T03:44:46Z")
Did she give the ‘back pat’ during the hug, too? 😉 There is no set answer that fits every situation, esp since none of us know her in even a casual way so as to be able to interpret things, but the basic signal to me is her taking the calling job from you. As usual, this the Dope, so YMMV! ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/33 "2011-09-07T17:25:49Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > I disagree with this advice. It would be better if the OP just take the hint that she’s just not into him and move on. It’s obvious that he sees the signs and knows what they mean; he’s just in denial about it due to the fear of missing out on the 1 in a 1000 chance that she really has been too busy with a client to call. The way I see it, if the lady wants to express herself explictly, she’ll do so via her own volition. Pushing it out of her is what creeps do. > > All the OP needs to do is broadcast one more signal of interest from his side and if it’s rejected, take that as all the information he needs to know. **Lacunae’s** advice is good. Just to be clear, I did say “If.. you really can’t tell.” If he gets a perfunctory refusal with another transparent excuse and a clear desire to finish the conversation, I think he can take the hint. I’m just saying it’s not inexcusable to politely request clarification if things are too ambiguous. For the record, it is inexcusable to intentionally ignore hints just so there’s an opportunity to punish the woman in question by rudely forcing her to be rude back. ---
**Author:** ![tingbudong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tingbudong/32/520_2.png) [@tingbudong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tingbudong)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/34 "2011-09-07T19:26:18Z")
Wow…I was not expecting this to evolve into an actual thread. Thanks to all for the feedback. Really. I’ll update in the future. ---
**Author:** ![Mopal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Mopal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mopal)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/35 "2011-09-07T21:13:04Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > You should call her up and say you’re still thinking about her, really enjoyed her company and would like to see her again.\*\* Especially since your town doesn’t present a lot of opportunities\*\* I don’t think I’d put it that way. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/36 "2011-09-07T21:18:04Z")
And update us either way. I hate reading these dating threads and never finding out what ever happened. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/37 "2011-09-07T23:30:35Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > Regardless of the impact of a second call, do you really want to be with someone who says she’ll call and doesn’t? Honestly, if she likes you, it’s really unlikely she’d just forget to do something like that. It’s a tough situation, esp if like you said prospects are rare, but I have to agree with ReticulatingSplines. She said she’d call, let her call. If she doesn’t, this is a very bad sign that things are wrong. The ball is in her court because she took it. Stand down and lay low. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/38 "2011-09-08T00:22:38Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > I can’t say I’ve ever thought less of a guy for making that one follow-up call. > > See above. Sorry, kid; you either missed the whole point of her saying "I’ll call you,’ or you’re an outlier. And, the idea isn’t to be thought of in good terms, the idea is a second date, which, I’ll prophesy, ain’t gonna happen. hh ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/39 "2011-09-08T00:33:29Z")
Is it at all possible that she lost your number? ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299/40 "2011-09-08T01:04:06Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > Is it at all possible that she lost your number? Unpossible. Her name is Ricki. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-call-back-a-second-time/595299.md?page=3)