# Do I have a right to know who bit my child in the face?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [December 6, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153 "2012-12-06T03:38:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/21 "2012-12-06T13:19:02Z")
> [@DianaG](#):
>
> Why? Because sane, normal people generally recognize that no law was written with the intention of legislating toddler behavior and that litigation is not the best way of resolving conflicts between toddlers.
Oh, are we in another DoperLand thread, where it’s totally normal to bring a lawsuit against the parents of a kid who bit your kid at daycare?
Yeah, in the real world, that’s something a crazy person would do.
Look, to answer the OP, there’s no reason in the world you need to know who bit your kid. As others have pointed out, the only possible thing you could do with this information would be to target your rage at the correct toddler. You’re not going to bring a lawsuit. That is ridiculous-- tscht! No. Hush. I said that it is ridiculous.
If your child continues to be bitten, then the daycare has a responsibility to expel the biter from the program, and if that doesn’t happen, then it’s a shit daycare and you should find a different one.
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### Author:  [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/22 "2012-12-06T13:52:37Z")
The Daycare is the only one liable in any litigation. They were the ones watching the child.
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### Author:  [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/23 "2012-12-06T14:01:38Z")
I’ll agree that a lawsuit over a simple bite is ridiculous. However, what does the parent do when the bite becomes infected and results in a huge medical bill?
It’s not like a meteor fell out of the sky and hit their little snowflake. A person is responsible for causing the wound. That person is a child, but still retains legal personage, and is legally responsible (through the parents) for their actions. Other people accepted responsibility for ensuring the safety of the children in their care, and one of those charges became injured.
Between those two, there is ample responsibility to go around.
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### Author:  [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/24 "2012-12-06T14:07:01Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#):
>
> Oh, are we in another DoperLand thread, where it’s totally normal to bring a lawsuit against the parents of a kid who bit your kid at daycare?
>
> Yeah, in the real world, that’s something a crazy person would do.
>
> Look, to answer the OP, there’s no reason in the world you need to know who bit your kid. As others have pointed out, the only possible thing you could do with this information would be to target your rage at the correct toddler. You’re not going to bring a lawsuit. That is ridiculous-- tscht! No. Hush. I said that it is ridiculous.
>
> If your child continues to be bitten, then the daycare has a responsibility to expel the biter from the program, and if that doesn’t happen, then it’s a shit daycare and you should find a different one.
I was composing a message and then saw this. This is what my post was going to say, almost exactly.
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### Author:  [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/25 "2012-12-06T14:11:30Z")
> [@Trinopus](#):
>
> Laughed out of court? For the most obvious basic lawsuit regarding wrongful physical harm? Of course the parents would be liable. The alternative would be that minors could commit any kind of offense with no possible recourse or restitution for the victims. Your kid vandalizes my car, you pay.
>
> Judges don’t laugh when victims come before them asking for justice.
Was there a post where the one year old needed facial reconstructive surgery that only you could see?
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/26 "2012-12-06T14:11:45Z")
No, you don’t need to know which kid it was. As others have said, as long as you are satisfied with the appropriate response on behalf of the daycare - and they are going to tell you that part, right? What’s it to you? As others have said, if the behavior continues you are free to bring it up to the next level. Another child biting your kid once is not a good enough reason to go into Mama Bear mode - they bite at that age, and need to be taught not to.
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### Author:  [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/27 "2012-12-06T14:12:40Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#):
>
> I’ll agree that a lawsuit over a simple bite is ridiculous. However, what does the parent do when the bite becomes infected and results in a huge medical bill?
Worse yet, what happens when the toddler _dies_ from the infection and then rises from the dead and starts eating the living? Huh? What _then_, naysayers? This isn’t just a trivial incident. This is something that could potentially destroy the whole human race. I hope all of you, especially **DianaG** and **MsWhatsit** , are properly ashamed of yourselves. People like you don’t deserve to have children.
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### Author:  [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/28 "2012-12-06T14:15:59Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#):
>
> I’ll agree that a lawsuit over a simple bite is ridiculous. However, what does the parent do when the bite becomes infected and results in a huge medical bill? …, there is ample responsibility to go around.
It is the parent’s responsibility to get their kid vaccinated against tetanus. Tetanus is a common disease contracted by scraping little knees and getting dirt in the wound, or by being bitten by another toddler. So, it is pretty much a given that a kid gets scrapes and bites, so get the damn shot and then you don’t have to sue afterwards.
Let it go, OP. You’ll be glad you did when your kid bites another kid in a month or so. In my experience as a parent, the due course of child developement is first being bitten, then biting, then getting over the biting thing, then getting hit, then hitting, rinse, repeat.
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### Author:  [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/29 "2012-12-06T14:20:10Z")
I’d keep an extra close eye on her during the next full moon, that’s all I’m sayin’…
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### Author:  [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/30 "2012-12-06T14:26:55Z")
> [@Scumpup](#):
>
> Worse yet, what happens when the toddler _dies_ from the infection and then rises from the dead and starts eating the living? Huh? What _then_, naysayers? This isn’t just a trivial incident. This is something that could potentially destroy the whole human race. I hope all of you, especially **DianaG** and **MsWhatsit** , are properly ashamed of yourselves. People like you don’t deserve to have children.
Did you miss the part where I said a lawsuit over a simple bite was ridiculous?
It’s right here:
> [@](#):
>
> I’ll agree that a lawsuit over a simple bite is ridiculous.
Maybe you didn’t catch it
> [@](#):
>
> I’ll agree that a lawsuit over a simple bite is ridiculous.
If (note the word “if” indicating a conditional clause) it turns out to not be a simple bite, and there’s a big medical bill over an infection (which do happen with human mouth bites that break the skin) then someone responsible for either the biter or the facility have legal liability.
But, before you go off the deep end again, I should repeat
> [@](#):
>
> I’ll agree that a lawsuit over a simple bite is ridiculous.
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### Author:  [@Debaser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debaser)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/31 "2012-12-06T14:31:06Z")
You need to develop a better relationship with the staff of the daycare, OP. The official policy is to never tell parents who the biter is. But I’ve never had trouble getting to the bottom of these sorts of things through my social network with the other parents and the teachers that I’m friendly with.
They won’t tell you in open company in front of other parents and you’ll get the whole “a generic child” bit. But you ask them later, in private, offsite if possible. Best time is when they have some drinks in them.
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### Author:  [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/32 "2012-12-06T14:42:28Z")
In a late-breaking addition to the Craziest Response to a Simple Preschool Issue competition, we have “Get your child’s preschool teacher drunk and wheedle the name of the offending child out of them,” which is likely to have a strong showing but in my opinion will still not edge out, “Go to court and sue the parents.”
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### Author:  [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/33 "2012-12-06T14:53:06Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#):
>
> If your daughter was injured by another child, you have the right to seek damages against the parents or guardians. By withholding information the daycare is depriving you of that right.
I disagree. I think there is some assumed risk in sending young children to daycare. I also think that it would be difficult to prove material damages in a lawsuit. I really think this technically would be a criminal matter, not a civil matter. But, again, I think it would be difficult to prove malice aforethought, and it would _definitely_ be difficult to find handcuffs tiny enough to fit on a toddlers little wrists.
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### Author:  [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/34 "2012-12-06T14:58:09Z")
> [@Winston\_Smith](#):
>
> I disagree. I think there is some assumed risk in sending young children to daycare. I also think that it would be difficult to prove material damages in a lawsuit. I really think this technically would be a criminal matter, not a civil matter. But, again, I think it would be difficult to prove malice aforethought, and it would _definitely_ be difficult to find handcuffs tiny enough to fit on a toddlers little wrists.
Duct tape.
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### Author:  [@Debaser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debaser)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/35 "2012-12-06T15:00:49Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#):
>
> In a late-breaking addition to the Craziest Response to a Simple Preschool Issue competition, we have “Get your child’s preschool teacher drunk and wheedle the name of the offending child out of them,”
Wow, that’s crazy! Which post said that, I’d love to read it for myself!
:rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/36 "2012-12-06T15:01:15Z")
> [@Nefarious\_Chipmunk](#):
>
> Yesterday, I received a call from my daughter’s daycare. They informed me that my daughter had been playing with a toy and another child wanted it. When she didn’t give it up, the child bit her in the face.
>
> Now, I understand that children sometimes bite other children. They told me that the child was a first-time biter, but would not tell me which child was to offender.
>
> I am not sure what I would do with the information, but I want to know which child did the biting. I understand why they won’t tell me, but I feel like I should have a right to know about something that concerns my child.
>
> What do you guys think? Do I have a right to know? This was a pretty serious bite. It broke the skin and there is a bruise that is fairly significant. Both children are around the same age, between 1 and 2 years of age.
>
> Poll to come.
It is my opinion that you are obligated to adhere to and respect the policies of the Day Care provider you have chosen. If you do not agree with their policies you are entitled to withdraw your child from their care and seek other arrangements.
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### Author:  [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/37 "2012-12-06T15:01:57Z")
> [@WhyNot](#):
>
> Duct tape.
No duct tape. Too much liability from adhesive allergies. Zip ties.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/38 "2012-12-06T15:04:04Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#):
>
> In a late-breaking addition to the Craziest Response to a Simple Preschool Issue competition, we have “Get your child’s preschool teacher drunk and wheedle the name of the offending child out of them,” which is likely to have a strong showing but in my opinion will still not edge out, “Go to court and sue the parents.”
I don’t believe the real Mrs. Whatsit was this cranky. 😃
(I’m teasing. FTR, I totall agree with you.)
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### Author:  [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/39 "2012-12-06T15:04:24Z")
Now that I think about it, we’re dealing with a biter here. For officer safety, it’d probably be a good idea to tase the toddler before attempting to cuff him.
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### Author:  [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/40 "2012-12-06T15:05:30Z")
> [@Scumpup](#):
>
> No duct tape. Too much liability from adhesive allergies. Zip ties.
And support the petrochemical industrial complex? You monster. Maybe we can just put them in front of a DVR with Yo-Gabba-Gabba\* playing.
\*Sorry, my kids are older; I don’t know the latest in Toddler Zombification television programming.
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