# Do I have a right to know who bit my child in the face?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [December 6, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153 "2012-12-06T03:38:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 5
### Author:  [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/81 "2012-12-07T01:46:00Z")
Taekwondo for toddlers. The toddler who bit your kid will be the one with the black eye.
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### Author:  [@wheresmymind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheresmymind)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/82 "2012-12-07T05:29:14Z")
> [@Maastricht](#):
>
> It is the parent’s responsibility to get their kid vaccinated against tetanus. Tetanus is a common disease contracted by scraping little knees and getting dirt in the wound, or by being bitten by another toddler. So, it is pretty much a given that a kid gets scrapes and bites, so get the damn shot and then you don’t have to sue afterwards.
So tetanus is the only infection that can take hold in a human bite wound? Good to know. :dubious:
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### Author:  [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/83 "2012-12-07T06:01:54Z")
FWIW, I checked with my sister, who works in a facility giving care to high-functioning mentally retarded adults, and she said, nope: they cannot give out that information.
She also noted, in the case of her workplace, parents have already signed waivers, acknowledging their awareness of the potential danger of violence, and accepting this risk. Parents have also been advised of the risk of infectious diseases.
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### Author:  [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/84 "2012-12-07T14:18:03Z")
When Beta-chan was in that age, we had her in a day-care which had a policy of not telling who it was. She was bitten once or twice and I had my suspicions of who the delinquent parents were. Although I didn’t have any proof, I pretty much stopped associating with many of the other parents. You just don’t want your precious child’s life ruined by association with the local riffraff. Undoubtedly due to my personal daddy skills, she never bit anyone.
With our new daycare, they do have a telling policy, and you cannot believe my mortification upon finding out that our son had bitten another child. While I’m 100% certain that it was provoked and completely justified, I did keep my temper in check when I came across the “victim’s” father. Playing out society’s expectation, I did apologize on my wife’s behalf, as it seems that she did not instill enough discipline in our son.
OK, on a tiny bit more serious note, it was pretty funny. Not when our son bit the other kid and when I apologized, or when the father looked like he was swallowing pure vinegar as he mumbled that it was OK, although he did look like he wanted to punch either me or my son out.
No, what was funny was two weeks later, when he had to apologize for his daughter biting Didi _and_ to another mother for biting her kid.
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### Author:  [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/85 "2012-12-07T15:07:42Z")
> [@Trinopus](#):
>
> She also noted, in the case of her workplace, parents have already signed waivers, acknowledging their awareness of the potential danger of violence, and accepting this risk. Parents have also been advised of the risk of infectious diseases.
I’d like to hear from a lawyer about this. I am really skeptical that a waiver like this would carry any weight in court. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it could be used as evidence that the facility was not taking proper precautions, much like a “Beware of Dog” sign can be used against a dog owner.
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### Author:  [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/86 "2012-12-07T15:31:40Z")
Can I sue for medical damages every time my daughter or son comes home with a virus and I have to take them into the Dr. or clinic and miss work as a result. Do I get compensated for lost wages? It is just as ridiculous as crapping my pants every time they come home with a bump, scrap, bite, or bruise. My daycare is so afraid of overprotective, overreacting parents that they call me every time my kids gets hurt. It’s tiresome. Kids will get hurt. Should your insurance agency or government (if you are on government insurance) sue me every time I make them spend money on treating my children because I didn’t prevent them from tripping on the playground and getting hurt, making each other sick with another cold, or prevent them from hitting/biting each other? It’s just as outrageous to expect a toddler’s parent to cover damages to my child from child’s play .
We aren’t talking broken bones or sexual molestation, so calm down peeps
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/87 "2012-12-07T15:49:50Z")
To the OP’s question, my original reaction was to answer, Yes, hell yes I would want to know who bit my kid! But I read the thread and people who said No had compelling info. In the end, I voted No. It sounds like daycares have a good policy for this.
My three kids are in their 20s, so I’m beyond this stage of life.
I’m also with the guy who had a vasectomy. Best thing I ever did. Guys, once you’ve had your family, consider getting snipped! (Yes, there have been snip or not? threads here)
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/88 "2012-12-07T16:29:21Z")
> [@April\_R](#):
>
> Can I sue for medical damages every time my daughter or son comes home with a virus and I have to take them into the Dr. or clinic and miss work as a result. Do I get compensated for lost wages?
Actually. there was a daycare near where I live that adopted a kitten from a local shelter. The kitten was a cool attraction, until everyone contracted ringworm from it. There were news stories, lawsuits, etc. The daycare sued the shelter.
The daycare went out of business.
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### Author:  [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/89 "2012-12-07T16:32:57Z")
> [@kayaker](#):
>
> Actually. there was a daycare near where I live that adopted a kitten from a local shelter. The kitten was a cool attraction, until everyone contracted ringworm from it. There were news stories, lawsuits, etc. The daycare sued the shelter.
>
> The daycare went out of business.
That is an unusual circumstance. Unless it’s a home daycare, having animals running around is pretty uncommon for a daycare. One we looked at had rabbits, but they were in cages. Plus, suing for ringworm is ridiculous. I don’t even know what goes through parent’s heads sometimes. :smack:
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### Author:  [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/90 "2012-12-07T18:47:27Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#):
>
> Sometimesvshit happens
Posting from the iPhone again, huh?
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/91 "2012-12-07T19:06:07Z")
> [@kayaker](#):
>
> Really? Maybe I was lucky, but the daycare my daughter spent some time at had zero tolerance for biting. First bite, if serious, meant expulsion. Worked for me, as my kid wasn’t feral.
My baby sister is the best human being I know (including me), and she was a biter until about three, I think. She was hardly feral. Some kids are just like that.
She never broke the skin, though. (I should know, as she bit me on the finger at least twice.) Closest she ever came to ferality was beating up a boy in fourth grade or so who made the mistake of thinking he could take her lunch at will just because he was bigger.
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### Author:  [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/92 "2012-12-07T19:13:03Z")
How old is your daughter? You could always just ask her.
At any rate, no teacher should talk about a child to other parents.
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### Author:  [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/93 "2012-12-07T19:21:15Z")
> [@Caricci](#):
>
> How old is your daughter? You could always just ask her.
>
> At any rate, no teacher should talk about a child to other parents.
Are you talking to the OP, because the OP said her daughter was between 1-2 years old.
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/94 "2012-12-07T19:28:38Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> My baby sister is the best human being I know (including me), and she was a biter until about three, I think. She was hardly feral. Some kids are just like that.
I’ve been thinking about my daughter’s daycare experience. She was three and a half when she started, and kids were grouped with kids the same age. Maybe younger kids biting is more common, but i know in her group it was unacceptable.
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### Author:  [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/95 "2012-12-07T19:57:31Z")
> [@kayaker](#):
>
> I’ve been thinking about my daughter’s daycare experience. She was three and a half when she started, and kids were grouped with kids the same age. Maybe younger kids biting is more common, but i know in her group it was unacceptable.
That actually makes a _big_ difference. My kid just turned two, and I’ve noticed a sharp decline in not just biting but all kinds physical aggression in his classroom, compared to just a few months ago. I don’t know, but certainly wouldn’t be surprised if biting is handled a lot more strictly in the threes classroom. Like potty training, it’s a matter of learning self-control. There’s an age below which it’s just not a reasonable expectation.
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### Author:  [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/96 "2012-12-07T21:24:05Z")
> [@April\_R](#):
>
> Can I sue for medical damages every time my daughter or son comes home with a virus . . .
Slightly different cases: you can spread a virus without doing anything overtly wrong. Coughing and sneezing, touching doorknobs, etc. But biting someone is, itself, an overtly aggressive and violent act.
We are all advised to wash our hands, etc., to minimize passing viruses around, but we don’t have any legal recourse against the guy who gave us the 'flu. It would be an interesting legal case, if someone filed that suit!
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### Author:  [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/97 "2012-12-07T21:30:01Z")
> [@kayaker](#):
>
> I’ve been thinking about my daughter’s daycare experience. She was three and a half when she started, and kids were grouped with kids the same age. Maybe younger kids biting is more common, but i know in her group it was unacceptable.
The couple of biting incidences that happened at my son’s preschool occurred between ages 1 and 2 yrs old. I don’t remember any biting after that.
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### Author:  [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/98 "2012-12-07T21:31:35Z")
> [@phouka](#):
>
> My concern would be the possibility of disease transmission. Saliva can carry a lot of bugs, and the human mouth is notoriously dirty. If the biter has any communicable illnesses, I’d want to know so I could make sure my child was protected.
Your child is hypothetical, right?
Or if it isn’t, either it was so long ago that you forgot, or they were raised by someone else until the age of 2 or 3 years.
I mean, it’s hilarious that someone thinks biting is the only way that saliva could possibly make it from one baby to another. Heck, if any of the kids are teething, just breathing the air in there probably puts a measurable level of saliva in your body.
Oh, and if someone sues me because my child gave their child an infection, can I then bill them in return for [providing anti-allergy treatments to their child](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hygiene_hypothesis)?
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### Author:  [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/99 "2012-12-08T00:04:37Z")
> [@April\_R](#):
>
> That is an unusual circumstance. Unless it’s a home daycare, having animals running around is pretty uncommon for a daycare. One we looked at had rabbits, but they were in cages. Plus, suing for ringworm is ridiculous. I don’t even know what goes through parent’s heads sometimes. :smack:
Our daycare has chickens - they got a clutch of eggs and the kids were able to observe them hatching (not all of them) and growing up (again, not all of them which has been good to gently discuss death) and now they have 3 grown hens in a large pen in they play area. As far as I know they don’t get to touch them though.
Biting incidents in our centre were also well under 3 years (I think the time my 2.5 yr old got bitten it was by a younger kid closer to 2 yrs). Now it’s just the common or garden pushing and hitting incidents, which are dealt with swiftly by the carers.
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### Author:  [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-a-right-to-know-who-bit-my-child-in-the-face/643153/100 "2012-12-08T02:19:37Z")
> [@Nefarious\_Chipmunk](#):
>
> Yesterday, I received a call from my daughter’s daycare. They informed me that my daughter had been playing with a toy and another child wanted it. When she didn’t give it up, the child bit her in the face.
>
> Now, I understand that children sometimes bite other children. They told me that the child was a first-time biter, but would not tell me which child was to offender.
>
> I am not sure what I would do with the information, but I want to know which child did the biting. I understand why they won’t tell me, but I feel like I should have a right to know about something that concerns my child.
>
> What do you guys think? Do I have a right to know? This was a pretty serious bite. It broke the skin and there is a bruise that is fairly significant. Both children are around the same age, between 1 and 2 years of age.
>
> Poll to come.
Please define “a right to know.”
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