# Do I have monkey feet? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 22, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253 "2003-07-22T22:35:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/21 "2003-07-23T15:23:13Z")
Dear God. Why do I insist on torturing myself by reading about what kind of feet you people have?!? I hate feet. Or…do I??? Maybe I subconsciously… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![robertwa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9a140/32.png) [@robertwa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertwa)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/22 "2003-07-23T15:36:01Z")
I, too, share in your monkeyfootedness (should that have a hyphen?). I pinched my gf with them once, just to see if I could do it. She got really mad. Apparently, it hurts a lot more than a normal pinch. Here’s another thing to freak you out. Because your second toe is longer than your first, not only are you monkeyfooted, you are also pigeon-toed. ---
**Author:** ![Nanny\_Ogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a87d85/32.png) [@Nanny\_Ogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanny_Ogg)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/23 "2003-07-23T16:08:41Z")
I have a toe-tallented sister. Can confirm. The toe-pinching-the-calf-thing hurts more than a normal pinch. Another tender spot is the back of the upper arms. It is what convinced me that my otherwise sweeter-than-life older sister is a closet sadist. The only thing that stopped it as kids was when I started showing our Mom the 4 inch diameter bruises… and when I learned to punch with some velocity. It’s 20 years later and I still don’t let her get behind me with bare feet ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/24 "2003-07-23T16:36:57Z")
My toes aren’t long (in fact, all my toes other than the big toes are very, very curled) but I can pick up stuff with them, turn knobs, and pinch people. Though I never tried to pinch them hard enough to bruise… hmmm, where’s the hubby when you need him? ---
**Author:** ![easy\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb8c5e/32.png) [@easy\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/easy_e)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/25 "2003-07-23T16:54:44Z")
Well, to me “monkey feet” means something entirely different. It’s what results if you wear shorts all summer with shoes+socks. You have tan legs and pale ankles and feet. I wear Teva’s most of the summer, so I have “zebra feet”. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/26 "2003-07-23T17:13:33Z")
[Dr. Emilio Lizardo] Monkey feet, do your thing! [/Dr. Emilio Lizardo] ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/27 "2003-07-23T18:05:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mariemarie \* > \*\*I think it’s hilarious that you took a picture of your feet, posted a link to it, and asked “Do I have monkey feet?” > > You ought to carry a print of that and show it to people when you meet them! They would love it! Instant coolness! \*\* I don’t like you ☹ ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/28 "2003-07-23T18:17:07Z")
Maybe we should start a thread where everyone posts a pic of their feet, and everyone else critiques their feet? ---
**Author:** ![fauxpas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e480ec/32.png) [@fauxpas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fauxpas)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/29 "2003-07-23T18:57:22Z")
I thought it was this. oh well… ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/30 "2003-07-23T19:32:09Z")
I too have can grip things with my feet, and have my second toe larger than the big toe. However, my toes are pretty much normal looking other than that. And my wife doesn’t seem to mind my hairy feet, other than she says my feet are disgusting in general. I think deep down inside she wants me to get a pedicure. ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/31 "2003-07-23T19:42:18Z")
Quick question to all you toe pinchers, what technique do you use? I was only acquainted with the normal big-toe-over method, but my wife, whose toe arrangement is freakishly similar to **ForumBot**'s taught me the big-toe-under method, and I must say it is much more effective. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/32 "2003-07-24T06:55:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ForumBot \* > \*\*And to think, I’m only 16. I’ve yet to blossom into a full ape. \*\* Just so you remember that at most high schools, they frown on brachiating in the locker room. ---
**Author:** ![Mariemarie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@Mariemarie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mariemarie)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/33 "2003-07-24T07:42:11Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t like you Awww, **ForumBot** honey, I meant no offense! Maybe you thought I was being sarcastic. I honestly think it’s funny, humorous, as in make me smile and laugh! And yes it would be very cool 🆒 to show that photo to people, because it’s so original. (I wouldn’t recommend whipping it out at job interviews, but in an informal setting: a party, picnic, game, that sort of thing.) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/34 "2003-07-24T09:36:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wawa \* > **Wow, my toes look like the fingers of many people** WOW! How many people? How many toes do you have? Do your feet look like [this](http://www.inclued.com/images/hands.jpg) or something? ---
**Author:** ![stick\_monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@stick\_monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stick_monkey)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/35 "2003-07-24T13:17:02Z")
You have monkey feet. Trust me, I know, having them myself. Am trying to learn to write with mine, it’s slow going, but my hadwriting sucks so bad I almost can’t tell a difference. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/36 "2003-07-24T15:05:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stick **monkey** \* > \*\*You have monkey feet. > > Trust me, I know, having them myself. \*\* I should certainly hope so… ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/37 "2003-07-24T17:57:03Z")
Funny. If I met someone with particularly hairy feet the first term that would come to my mind would be “hobbit feet” … ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/38 "2003-07-24T18:42:03Z")
ding! ding! ding! Hubby has hobbit feet. Oh yes. Bilbo Baggins, no doubt. And yes, you do appear to have monkey feet. However they don’t appear to reek of monkey house, so why not enjoy them. In fact, there’s a rather erotic scene in Larry McMurtry’s _Texasville_ involving a big toe. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/39 "2003-07-24T20:28:32Z")
The second toe on the left foot appears to have no joints. I’m laughing incredibly loudly right now ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253/40 "2003-07-24T20:29:38Z")
So much so that I can’t constuct a proper sentence. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-have-monkey-feet/190253.md?page=3)