# Do I LOOK like Little Fucking Lord Fauntleroy? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2007, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461 "2007-04-02T19:46:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/1 "2007-04-02T19:46:42Z")
No? Then why must clothing retailers try to foist these extra-long, calf-hiding “shorts” on me? I want a pair of _shorts_. I don’t want extra-long “carpenter’s shorts” with a thousand utility pockets and loops, that almost qualify as pedal pushers. It’s hot outside. I want shorts that end above my knees. I don’t want to feel the hem of my fugly man-capris tickling the hairs halfway down my calves. Christ. Either give me some real _shorts_, or give me my Earldom in the Old Country. Grrrrrrrrrr. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/2 "2007-04-02T19:51:58Z")
[For those who were as confused as I was: Little Lord Fauntleroy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Lord_Fauntleroy) Personally, I like cargo shorts 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/3 "2007-04-02T19:59:42Z")
[QUOTE=Ogre] No? Then why must clothing retailers try to foist these extra-long, calf-hiding “shorts” on me? I want a pair of _shorts_. I don’t want extra-long “carpenter’s shorts” with a thousand utility pockets and loops, that almost qualify as pedal pushers. It’s hot outside. I want shorts that end above my knees. I don’t want to feel the hem of my fugly man-capris tickling the hairs halfway down my calves. [/QUOTE] You shut your goddamn mouth. This long shorts craze is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Sure, people of normal height look like retards in their high-water non-shorts, but I can finally buy a pair of shorts that go below my knee and that’s all that matters. ::shakes fist at **Ogre** :: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/4 "2007-04-02T20:00:43Z")
Ogre, I love this thread title. I certainly do know who LLF is. ETA: Er…that’s all I got. Nothing to say about the shorts, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/5 "2007-04-02T20:02:14Z")
Will this site help? [http://www.aeropostale.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=2183149&cp=2284059&clickid=cat\_leftnav\_txt](http://www.aeropostale.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=2183149&cp=2284059&clickid=cat_leftnav_txt) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/6 "2007-04-02T20:03:33Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Personally, I like cargo shorts 😃 [/QUOTE] So do I, but the last pair I bought has deep pockets. They go all the way down to the leg openings. I literally have to bend over to get my keys. ---
**Author:** ![desdinova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@desdinova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/desdinova)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/7 "2007-04-02T20:04:24Z")
So I guess it’s safe to say that you like short shorts? ---
**Author:** ![mambocrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@mambocrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mambocrow)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/8 "2007-04-02T20:04:42Z")
I agree with you Ogre. I found the kind of shorts you’re looking for at JC Penneys about a year ago. I would hope the bigger Mall Department stores still sell shorts that end above the knee. If not, I guess I’ll keep my old ones until fashion moves away from the ridiculous “Man Capris” you referenced. I’m old enough to know who Lord Fauntleroy was. ---
**Author:** ![Iggins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Iggins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggins)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/9 "2007-04-02T20:05:45Z")
[QUOTE=Ogre] No? Then why must clothing retailers try to foist these extra-long, calf-hiding “shorts” on me? I want a pair of _shorts_. I don’t want extra-long “carpenter’s shorts” with a thousand utility pockets and loops, that almost qualify as pedal pushers. It’s hot outside. I want shorts that end above my knees. I don’t want to feel the hem of my fugly man-capris tickling the hairs halfway down my calves. Christ. Either give me some real _shorts_, or give me my Earldom in the Old Country. Grrrrrrrrrr. [/QUOTE] Woot! A rant I can really get behind. I’m tall (most all in the legs), so I do enjoy longer shorts that look normal on me. But **Giraffe’s** complaint not withstanding, most shorts are way too damn long, and have many superfluous pockets. I just want a reasonably long, khaki short with comfortable (read breathable) material. Is that too much to ask, goddamit?!? I don’t need a loop for my hammer, or paintbrush, or whatever… And could they not be pre-worn out? I can do that myself, thanks very much. ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/10 "2007-04-02T20:06:39Z")
[QUOTE=Ogre] Do I LOOK like Little Fucking Lord Fauntleroy? No? [/QUOTE] Cite? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/11 "2007-04-02T20:10:51Z")
[QUOTE=Ogre] Either give me some real _shorts_, or give me my Earldom in the Old Country. Grrrrrrrrrr. [/QUOTE] _Whack_ “Arise, Sir Loin of Beef…!” _Whack_ “Arise, Duke of Ellington…!” _Whack_ “Arise, Earl of Cloves…!” _Whack_ “Milk of Magnesia…!” _Whack_ “Quarter of Ten…!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/12 "2007-04-02T20:14:04Z")
They need to bring back [Jams](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jams) (same length, even worse colors). These newer, beige-colored monstrosities don’t do it for me; normally, I prefer _not_ to match my computer case. And, then, later, I will learn again to rock with the multi-colored, plastic Swatch watches. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/13 "2007-04-02T20:18:31Z")
[QUOTE=Ogre] Christ. Either give me some real _shorts_, or give me my Earldom in the Old Country. [/QUOTE] I feel your pain. My 12 year old son laughed and asked if I was serious last summer when he saw me in shorts. _His_ shorts nearly reach the ground! ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/14 "2007-04-02T20:27:21Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] I certainly do know who LLF is. [/QUOTE] That’s L _ **F** _ L F to you, Missy! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/15 "2007-04-02T20:32:34Z")
I’ll gladly trade with you - as a matter of fact I often buy men’s long shorts. I am 46 years old and not the lovely spring flower I once was. I do not want the cheeks of my ass on display to the masses. The masses don’t want to see the cheeks of my ass! Give me some shorts that cover the subject! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/16 "2007-04-02T20:32:45Z")
Amen. I’m a shrimpy guy, and these long shorts look ridiculous on me. I want shorts that show off my knobby knees to their full advantage, thankyouverymuch. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/17 "2007-04-02T20:36:31Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] So do I, but the last pair I bought has deep pockets. They go all the way down to the leg openings. I literally have to bend over to get my keys. [/QUOTE] :eek: That’s no leg opening! ---
**Author:** ![blinkingblinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@blinkingblinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blinkingblinking)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/18 "2007-04-02T20:36:35Z")
It has been a strange trend in Australia for men to wear these ‘shorts’. I thought they were culottes. I keep asking people who wear them ‘Why are you wearing culottes?’ ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/19 "2007-04-02T21:57:39Z")
[QUOTE=Giraffe] You shut your goddamn mouth. This long shorts craze is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Sure, people of normal height look like retards in their high-water non-shorts, but I can finally buy a pair of shorts that go below my knee and that’s all that matters. ::shakes fist at **Ogre** :: [/QUOTE] Hmph. If I had those ridiculous, knobby giraffe-knees, I’d probably want to hide 'em too. > [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > I’ll gladly trade with you - as a matter of fact I often buy men’s long shorts. I am 46 years old and not the lovely spring flower I once was. I do not want the cheeks of my ass on display to the masses. The masses don’t want to see the cheeks of my ass! Give me some shorts that cover the subject! Whoa there, hossfly. I’m not talking about hot pants. I’d look at least as moronic in hot pants. I just want a normal, ends-just-above-the-knee pair of shorts. Wait. Does your ass hang down to your knees? 'Cos that’s the only way I can see showing off cheekage in normal shorts. Perhaps I don’t really want an answer to that question. Right now, I’m having to buy from Columbia if I want regular shorts, since every department store I’ve been to is carrying cargo/carpenter shorts that would look _just faaaaabulous_ with a kicky pair of 18th century leggings or maybe a darling ballerina slipper. (Related gripe: some of the more “rugged” man-knickers also have laces or tassels hanging off the sides, presumably so you can cinch the whole affair up like you’re beachcombing (or mincing uncontrollably.) I had my wife in tears the other day when I put a pair of these on in the store and was whirling about, making my tassels fly in what I thought was a most aristocratic manner. The sales lady didn’t seem so amused, however. ---
**Author:** ![hawksgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461/20 "2007-04-02T22:01:36Z")
Wanna swap? As a woman I can’t find shorts that’ll cover my ass appropriately. That’s all I ask, and can I get any? No. So I end up wearing jeans all summer and sweating the whole time because I DON’T WANT TO FLASH MY ASS CHEEKS TO THE WORLD. That, and the sunburn would be awful. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-look-like-little-fucking-lord-fauntleroy/398461.md?page=2)