# Do I really have a secret admirer?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 25, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345 "2003-06-25T19:22:48Z")
**Posts on this page:** 14
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)
#### Post date: [June 25, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/1 "2003-06-25T19:22:48Z")
Has anyone ever heard of [www.whosyouradmirer.com](http://www.whosyouradmirer.com)? If so, what’s your experience been with the site?
Background: I got an e-mail from the site this morning, saying that someone with dark brown hair has a crush on me and prompting me to go to the web site and fill out a questionnaire. Ordinarily, I’d think it was spam, but I NEVER get spam at my work e-mail (although I get tons of it on my personal e-mail). Now dark brown hair is probably the single most common physical characteristic of Americans (not to imply that my hypothetical crush is American, of course), so I’m pretty darn skeptical.
I’m also not in seventh grade anymore, so really, I think if anyone has a crush on me, he should just be a grownup about it and do something a tad more direct. On the other hand, I’m curious as hell. But I’m sure the site is banking on that.
Would there be any downside to filling out the questionnaire, other than looking like an idiot?
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### Author:  [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)
#### Post date: [June 25, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/2 "2003-06-25T19:34:30Z")
Yes, it’s a scam.
They’ll prompt you to ‘guess’ who your admirer is by entering email addresses of likely people. Then they’ve effectively harvested those email addresses for spam.
My guess is they got someone who knows you to enter your name thinking you were their secret admirer and voila, you’re spammed.
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### Author:  [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)
#### Post date: [June 25, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/3 "2003-06-25T19:42:18Z")
I admit it. It’s me. Ever since that “tha moooon” link. They were wrong about the brown hair, tho…
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### Author:  [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)
#### Post date: [June 25, 2003, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/4 "2003-06-25T19:51:02Z")
Ok, although you don’t know me from Adam, I do look forward to reading your posts, and have brown hair, which in combination makes me “a secret admirer with brown hair” of yours, I am not this particular secret admirer.
Why am I posting this? I’m outing myself I guess.
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### Author:  [@lovelyluka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lovelyluka)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/5 "2003-06-26T00:33:27Z")
DON’T don’t DON’T don’t DON’T fill out the questionnairre. Please. If I cared enough, I’d start an awareness campaign against these sites. They irritate the stew out of me. Every once in a while, these get into my circle of friends, and I’ll get several of those emails a day. (My friends never learn.) Not only are they harvesting those addresses, but they’re sending an email to them saying that _you_ like _them_. And the cycle continues.
Way back when I was young and stupid 😉 I let one of those sites string me along. It took me a little while to figure it out, but the tipoff was that it refused to give me more “clues” until I made more guesses (“Guess two more people and get another CLUE!”). The biggest tipoff? I never filled out _my_ info for them to give people who were getting spammed when I typed in their address. The “clues” are so terribly vague and probably randomly generated.
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### Author:  [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2003, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/6 "2003-06-26T00:55:28Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Do I really have a secret admirer?
Well its’ not a secret anymore ;).
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### Author:  [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2003, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/7 "2003-06-26T01:02:53Z")
Crushlink was just the same. It’s essentially an email harvesting scheme…and a highly effective one, at that.
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### Author:  [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/8 "2003-06-26T16:07:11Z")
Oh lordy; I apparently have not one, but two secret admirers now (plus a couple of not-so secret ones on this thread, heh heh). Who knew?
And why can’t this happen to me IRL instead of on the internet?
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### Author:  [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/9 "2003-06-26T16:30:47Z")
Heh. I got one of those bad boys about a year ago (at my work email as well). I ranted about it in the pit.
My fellow Dopers informed me that yes, it was a scam, and that no, nobody had a crush on me.
But as it turns out, thanks to that email, I’m now engaged.
Guess I should retract that Pit thread. 😃
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### Author:  [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/10 "2003-06-26T17:03:15Z")
I got one of these awhile ago. I immediately saw it for what it was, but decided to play along anyway. I spent a fair amount of time entering one phony e-mail addess after another ([a@e-mail.com](mailto:a@e-mail.com), [b@e-mail.com](mailto:b@e-mail.com), etc.), to no avail. The site will NEVER tell you who your secret admirer really is unless (I assume) you actually enter the correct e-mail address. And even then, I wouldn’t bet on it.
I like you, though!
😉
Barry
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### Author:  [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/11 "2003-06-27T14:04:48Z")
OK, this is getting ridiculous. I haven’t touched the damn site, and I have a third “secret admirer” in my inbox this morning. Is this thing making the rounds lately, or am I just “lucky”?
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### Author:  [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/12 "2003-06-27T17:30:47Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Is this thing making the rounds lately, or am I just “lucky”?
Whatever idiot surrendered your e-mail address as a “guess” when he got spammed is continuing to play their game and each of his responses triggers another attack on (your already stored) address.
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### Author:  [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/13 "2003-06-27T18:51:08Z")
I logged in with a fake email account and it said several people had a crush on me. I set up two throw-away accounts and said one has a crush on the other, but haven’t got the email yet.
It’s a fairly obvious trick, but really quite ingenious, because it’s _so_ tempting to try a few, _just in case_ it’s for real.
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### Author:  [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2003, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-really-have-a-secret-admirer/184345/14 "2003-06-27T19:19:53Z")
UPDATE: The email was filtered out as spam by yahoo. I tried it, guessed right. Then it said “One of your guesses was correct.” and asked my to pay them $5 (only, honestly) to find out.
[www.whosyouradmirer.com](http://www.whosyouradmirer.com), FOUTRE! (Pardon my French)