# Do I stand up for this little girl? Do I say something? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 16, 2010, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-stand-up-for-this-little-girl-do-i-say-something/539648 "2010-05-16T15:35:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-stand-up-for-this-little-girl-do-i-say-something/539648/141 "2010-05-25T00:39:22Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > snip But she spoke to the asshat’s wife, maybe something was accomplished there? A lot I think. The OP seems to be a timid character who’s been putting up with her own uncomfortable situation for quite a while so the fact that she did anything is a huge step forward. It’s not hard to guess the wifes reaction - if you have to stand up for yourself, obviously someone is not going to like it and that’s why it perpetuates. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2010, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-stand-up-for-this-little-girl-do-i-say-something/539648/142 "2010-05-26T03:36:31Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > A lot I think. The OP seems to be a timid character who’s been putting up with her own uncomfortable situation for quite a while so the fact that she did anything is a huge step forward. It’s not hard to guess the wifes reaction - if you have to stand up for yourself, obviously someone is not going to like it and that’s why it perpetuates. Yeah, you can bet the husband didn’t count on the OP having the guts to talk to his wife. Ug, I know a couple just like this, and it makes my skin crawl. As with so many of these things, it is often just so much easier to do nothing – and that’s how these creeps get away with it – so good for the OP for resisting, eventually. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2010, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-stand-up-for-this-little-girl-do-i-say-something/539648/143 "2010-05-26T12:16:32Z")
> [@Miss\_Gnomer](#): > > Friend has now cancelled our lunch with no explanation (via email) … so I suppose that says a lot. We don’t normally email each other. > > I’ll leave it up to her whether she chooses to contact me again … normally I might not talk to her for months … so it will be a while before I know if the friendship is completely dead … but I think it is likely. That completely stinks - although there is a glimmer of good news. She’s taking what you said seriously. I’m not sure what this means for the inevitable outcome, but you’ve done all you can. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2010, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-stand-up-for-this-little-girl-do-i-say-something/539648/144 "2010-05-26T16:44:44Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > This thread was supposedly created to solicit advice on how best to help a child. I suggested talking to the child’s parents. Instead, the OP did nothing to help the little girl. But she spoke to the asshat’s wife, maybe something was accomplished there? I told her that that likely wouldn’t accomplish anything seeing as the wife had already been turning a blind eye to her husband’s behavior. Surprise, she’s now possibly lost a friend (though a friend that would stand for this isn’t much of a friend at all). > > For all your positivity, nothing’s been done to help the child, the one who inspired this thread’s creation. I may be an obnoxious hypocrite but I’m the only one who didn’t give the OP thumbs up when she decided to be content doing nothing for the little girl. This boggles my mind. The child’s family - She would basically be a stranger calling them out of the blue. There is no way in any universe that this would go well - if the OP even had a way to contact them in the first place. I think the OP did a good job - she worked with the contacts she had. You are being unreasonable in your expectations here. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-stand-up-for-this-little-girl-do-i-say-something/539648/145 "2010-05-26T17:03:58Z")
> [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](#): > > She would basically be a stranger calling them out of the blue. If a stranger called me out of the blue and told me, “listen, you know how your daughter doesn’t like to get hugged by Uncle Feely? I just thought I should let you know that I have had issues with him touching me inappropriately. I’m really sorry I have to get in family business by telling you that, but I felt it was the right thing to do” I would totally appreciate that call. At least it gives me an opportunity to ask my daughter about it. And I think it would take a tremendous amount of courage for someone to make that call. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2010, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-stand-up-for-this-little-girl-do-i-say-something/539648/146 "2010-05-26T19:20:35Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > If a stranger called me out of the blue and told me, “listen, you know how your daughter doesn’t like to get hugged by Uncle Feely? I just thought I should let you know that I have had issues with him touching me inappropriately. I’m really sorry I have to get in family business by telling you that, but I felt it was the right thing to do” I would totally appreciate that call. At least it gives me an opportunity to ask my daughter about it. And I think it would take a tremendous amount of courage for someone to make that call. Fair enough. You’ve got me thinking about it in a slightly different way. However, I still find no fault with the OP for trying to work through this issue by bringing it to the attention of those she is connected to. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-stand-up-for-this-little-girl-do-i-say-something/539648/147 "2010-05-26T19:22:20Z")
> [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](#): > > This boggles my mind. > > The child’s family - She would basically be a stranger calling them out of the blue. There is no way in any universe that this would go well - if the OP even had a way to contact them in the first place. > > I think the OP did a good job - she worked with the contacts she had. > > You are being unreasonable in your expectations here. No he isn’t, if there was any possibility this bloke was molesting that girl then anyone aware of it should be moving heaven and earth to let the relatives know. But as there obviously isn’t (LEARN TO READ BETWEEN THE LINES FOLKS. YOU’RE ALL ADULTS, RIGHT?), meh, who cares. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-i-stand-up-for-this-little-girl-do-i-say-something/539648.md?page=7)