# Do many women actually use strap-on dildos? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 13, 2008, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310 "2008-07-13T05:47:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2008, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/21 "2008-07-14T10:40:55Z")
So my Honey asks me to buy her one for her birthday. (She was sleeping with the maid at the time.) I was up in Washington DC and went to the Pleasure Chest in Georgetown. Nice sales staff there. So I pick out a harness (darn complex thing) and it is time to select the dildo. “Do you prefer ridged or smooth? Small or large?” “It’s not for me darn it!” “Of course not sir.” ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2008, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/22 "2008-07-14T12:57:45Z")
I know about a dozen women who have them and who have used them on both sexes. None of us really participate in the BDSM arena, so I think that impression is a little off. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2008, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/23 "2008-07-14T21:21:25Z")
[QUOTE=Paul in Saudi] So my Honey asks me to buy her one for her birthday. (She was sleeping with the maid at the time.) I was up in Washington DC and went to the Pleasure Chest in Georgetown. Nice sales staff there. So I pick out a harness (darn complex thing) and it is time to select the dildo. “Do you prefer ridged or smooth? Small or large?” “It’s not for me darn it!” “Of course not sir.” [/QUOTE] hehe. Somehow that reminded me of [this chat snippet](http://bash.org/?1578) from [bash.org](http://bash.org/): > [@](#): > > \ we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator > \ ew. > \ wait, you “caught” him? > \ like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store? > \ he doesnt answer > \*\*\* Quits: calin (No route to host) ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/24 "2008-07-15T14:04:59Z")
[QUOTE=freekalette] Never have used one, but I’d love to. I’ve always been curious about how “the other side” lives. Any Dopers got suggestions for convincing my husband, I’m all ears! 😉 [/QUOTE] Bring home a lady friend to use it on, and invite him to watch? ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/25 "2008-07-15T14:20:22Z")
I’ve never understood the appeal of a woman using a strap on to do her boyf/husband. Fucking someone takes a lot of energy and if you’re not getting anything out of it (namely lots of pleasureable feeling in your cock and eventually an orgasm) I can’t see why you’d want to bother. The women who do this are total altruists. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/26 "2008-07-15T14:28:28Z")
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] I’ve never understood the appeal of a woman using a strap on to do her boyf/husband. Fucking someone takes a lot of energy and if you’re not getting anything out of it (namely lots of pleasureable feeling in your cock and eventually an orgasm) I can’t see why you’d want to bother. [/quote] See sunacres’ response above: > [@aunacres](#): > > In use, both women made a rather marked transition from gentle, giggly, considerate fun to very intense thrusting and pounding with wild abandon. [QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] The women who do this are total altruists. [/QUOTE] Hardly sounds like martyrdom to me. Sounds more like a power exchange, the penetratee becoming the penetrator. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/27 "2008-07-15T14:42:41Z")
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] I’ve never understood the appeal of a woman using a strap on to do her boyf/husband. Fucking someone takes a lot of energy and if you’re not getting anything out of it (namely lots of pleasureable feeling in your cock and eventually an orgasm) I can’t see why you’d want to bother. The women who do this are total altruists. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=gaffa] Hardly sounds like martyrdom to me. Sounds more like a power exchange, the penetratee becoming the penetrator. [/QUOTE] A power exchange or simply deriving satisfaction from pleasing your partner. In that sense it’s similar to giving oral, which doesn’t do much for the giver physically but can be a huge turn-on anyway. And it can require just as much energy and concentration as fucking, if not more. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/28 "2008-07-15T14:51:39Z")
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] I’ve never understood the appeal of a woman using a strap on to do her boyf/husband. Fucking someone takes a lot of energy and if you’re not getting anything out of it (namely lots of pleasureable feeling in your cock and eventually an orgasm) I can’t see why you’d want to bother. The women who do this are total altruists. [/QUOTE] Wrong on several accounts. Who’s not getting anything out of it? It involves direct physical stimulation of some extremely sensitive parts of both participants’ bodies, it involves a tremendous amount of trust between the participants, and the role reversal can be very erotic. Have you ever tried it? ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/29 "2008-07-15T15:29:00Z")
The most sensitive part, I have observed, is between the ears, right behind the eyes. (Really, it wasn’t for me!) ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/30 "2008-07-15T15:32:21Z")
[QUOTE=Paul in Saudi] The most sensitive part, I have observed, is between the ears, right behind the eyes. (Really, it wasn’t for me!) [/QUOTE] Strange place to use a dildo, but to each his own. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/31 "2008-07-15T17:42:56Z")
[QUOTE=plnnr] Have you ever tried it? [/QUOTE] No, because when I have sex with someone there is already one penis per person involved. Wearing a strap on would be redundant and if I want to get fucked I’d rather have the real thing. I’m not trying to be disparaging towards people who wish to do this (it may have come across that way), simply saying don’t really get it myself. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/32 "2008-07-15T18:02:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Quote: > Originally Posted by Paul in Saudi > The most sensitive part, I have observed, is between the ears, right behind the eyes. > (Really, it wasn’t for me!) > > Strange place to use a dildo, but to each his own. Yeah. That would squick me out. ---
**Author:** ![Li\_l\_Pluck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Li\_l\_Pluck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Li_l_Pluck)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/33 "2008-07-15T21:20:43Z")
[QUOTE=SaharaTea] \ giving oral, which doesn’t do much for the giver physically but can be a huge turn-on anyway. [/QUOTE] HA! Well, you are correct about the pleasing-one’s-partner aspect of giving a BJ being a, ahem, huge turn-on, but I must say, apart from that (well, maybe not \*totally \*apart from it, but apart from it to some extent), I do like giving BJ’s. (Oddly enough, I quickly become bored with BJ scenes in porn.) Provided, of course, that my jaw doesn’t lock up (but even then, I can be a trooper if the moment’s right). Nothing to add about strap-ons, as I have my own home-grown equipment, as do my (very occasional - ☹ ) partners. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/34 "2008-07-15T21:54:44Z")
Oh - forgot to say that I think giving oral on another guy is great fun, it’s not all about his pleasure, I love having a cock in my mouth too. ---
**Author:** ![Li\_l\_Pluck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Li\_l\_Pluck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Li_l_Pluck)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/35 "2008-07-16T09:09:13Z")
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] Oh - forgot to say that I think giving oral on another guy is great fun, it’s not all about his pleasure, I love having a cock in my mouth too. [/QUOTE] Isn’t that the truth?! I tend to find it (and the surrounding real estate) to be quite yummy. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/36 "2008-07-16T09:12:13Z")
[QUOTE=Li’l Pluck] Isn’t that the truth?! I tend to find it (and the surrounding real estate) to be quite yummy. [/QUOTE] The real estate I’m less bothered with, give me the cock! The whole concept of glory holes (where you’re sucking a faceless dick through the wall) just wouldn’t exist if it was only a chore exercised for the benefit of the other person. ---
**Author:** ![Li\_l\_Pluck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Li\_l\_Pluck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Li_l_Pluck)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/37 "2008-07-16T10:51:16Z")
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] The whole concept of glory holes (where you’re sucking a faceless dick through the wall) just wouldn’t exist if it was only a chore exercised for the benefit of the other person. [/QUOTE] So, so true. And wow, talk about old memories! (Well, okay, it’s only about 12 years or so, but my knees aren’t as forgiving today as they were then, so it certainly \*feels \* like a long time ago.) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/38 "2008-07-16T11:16:36Z")
[QUOTE=Digital Stimulus] … **Renee** snuck it in there. [/QUOTE] I was going to comment on this, but I believe it speaks for itself :). ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/39 "2008-07-16T12:44:57Z")
I don’t think most girls use them… the dykes I know don’t. That said well, when my SO and me and His friend (with obviously very signifigent benefits) had a threeway, she used one on me. Wasn’t bad. OK it was actually pretty great. I’ve never used one although I’ve used dildos on guys. (And urethral sounds…and now I hear the sound of many dopers crossing their legs…but really every guy…and girl who’s every tryed it has loved it…just sayin’) ---
**Author:** ![MeanJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanjoe/32/5693_2.png) [@MeanJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanJoe)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310/40 "2008-07-16T16:16:23Z")
Okay, this thread has been fascinating but I have a question… In a situation where a woman is using a strap-on with a male partner, what is the end-result? I mean, do you just do it for awhile and then switch to good old fashioned male/female vaginal intercourse? Or does the guy masturbate to completion while being peg’ed? (Yes, I realize there will be answers that cover all of the above. Is there a “generally speaking” answer to this?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-many-women-actually-use-strap-on-dildos/456310.md?page=3)