# Do men generally marry their most attractive girlfriend? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 7, 2008, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492 "2008-05-07T23:04:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492/41 "2008-05-08T18:33:23Z")
My wife knows that, in terms of social conventions for female beauty, she’s not the most beautiful woman I ever dated. I actually dated a woman in college who was one of the finalists for Miss Colorado (Miss America Pageant) in the early 1970s. That we had absolutely no common ground whatsoever was painfully obvious about three months into our relationship. My wife and I, to this day, do not know why we came to love each other so much that we committed ourselves to each other for the rest of our natural lives. And at this point, it doesn’t matter. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492/42 "2008-05-08T18:42:17Z")
[QUOTE=Maastricht] Are 20 somethings (the cohort in which men and women usually casually date) more or less attractive, as a rule, then the 30 somethings, considering that’s the age age to settle down and marry? [/QUOTE] I got married at 25. Are the 30s really the time when most get married? I don’t think that is true. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492/43 "2008-05-08T19:19:35Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] I got married at 25. Are the 30s really the time when most get married? I don’t think that is true. [/QUOTE] I think folks tend to get married a bit younger in the U.S., don’t they? On average? I’m getting married now, well into my thirties - and it seems that all my friends are, too. I don’t know anybody in my peer group that got married in their twenties, except for my nieces, but they’re Albertan – which is _practically_ American. 😉 Anyway, I think the OP’s question is a bit of a tautology. _Physical_ attractiveness wasn’t really the selling point for me, though - although she’s cute as hell I can think of a couple girls I went out with that I would have to say (quietly, to myself, completely out of the hearing of any mutual friends) might be just a _tad_ prettier. It’s more that we can spend more time that I would have ever thought possible together without feeling oppressed. I’ve never had that experience before, and don’t expect to find a compatibility like that again, so I’m not about to roll the dice again. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492/44 "2008-05-08T19:24:20Z")
In college I dated a woman who was, at least physically, smokin’ hot - WAY hotter than Mrs. Homie. She was also dumb as a brick. I lucked out with Mrs. Homie. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492/45 "2008-05-08T19:33:41Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd] I think folks tend to get married a bit younger in the U.S., don’t they? On average? [/QUOTE] I don’t know but I will google it up. My bolding in all quotes below. [Census Bureau Study Finds U.S. Couples Marry Later Than Before](http://www.yourweddingplace.com/news/news%20couples%20marry%20later.htm) > [@](#): > > In the last decade the median age for marriage has increased by one year to **26.7 years for men and 25.1 for women**. > > In **Utah** , couples wed at the earliest age - \*\*21.9 years for women \*\* and 23.9 for men. \*\*Washington, D.C. \*\* has the latest age for marriage with an average of around **30 years**. [http://www.christian-dating-guide.com/good-age-to-marry.html](http://www.christian-dating-guide.com/good-age-to-marry.html) > [@](#): > > In **most developed countries** , the age of most men today at the time of first marriage is about **twenty-four**. Their brides are slightly over **twenty-one**. From 2004: [Young adults waiting longer to marry, but may be more happy, stable](http://www.abpnews.com/8.article) > [@](#): > > Since 1970, the average age at which men marry for the first time rose from 25.3 years to 27.1, according to the bureau’s Current Population Survey. The average marrying age for women rose from 20.8 to 23.2. > … > Other recent studies have shown that Christian men and women are more likely to marry and tend to marry younger than the general population, perhaps because cohabitation is still frowned upon in many Christian circles. > > But Christians also divorce at a higher rate than the general population. According to a 2001 study by the Barna Research Group, 27 percent of born-again Christians have been divorced, compared with 24 percent of adults who are not born-again. > **[How Has the Average Age at Marriage Changed over Time?](https://www.culturalworld.org/how-has-the-average-age-at-marriage-changed-over-time.htm)** > > The average age at marriage for women has risen in most countries over time. For instance, the average age at marriage in the US... > [@](#): > > If one looks at US statistics over the past 100 years for example, one sees that men had an average age at marriage of 25.9 years in 1900. Women in 1900 had an average age at marriage of 22 years. For some this shatters an illusion that women 100 years ago were sold into marriage as young children. > … > Currently the average age at marriage in the US is 26.8 years for men, and 25.1 years for women. > … > Lowest average age for marriage in men was in 1960, when the mean age for marriage was 22.8 years. > **[List of countries by age at first marriage](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_at_first_marriage)** > > This is a list of countries by age at first marriage. The list is current from contemporary surveys. It does not treat the topic in history. Currency of information varies by country. Because the age distribution of people at first marriage is skewed with a longer tail towards older ages, the majority of people marry before the average age of first marriage. The median age is a more precise representation of when the majority of people marry; for most reporting sources, however, only the avera... > [@](#): > > \*\*World \*\* (selected countries averaged) > 28.7 years for men, 26.8 years for women, 27.8 final average. > … > Canada: 30 for men, 27.4 for women, 28.2 final average. > United States: 27 for men, 25 for women, 26 final average. (2007) > Netherlands: 30.7 for men, 28.3 for women. So yes, Americans do get married a bit younger on average than Canadians and the Dutch. Sources picked for variety. The agreement is fairly close I believe. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492/46 "2008-05-08T20:05:11Z")
Jim, thanks for that extensive research. Indeed, age of first marriage is one of those cultural differences. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492/47 "2008-05-08T20:05:52Z")
**Jim** , thanks for that extensive research. Indeed, age of first marriage is one of those cultural differences. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492/48 "2008-05-08T20:10:48Z")
Interesting. I guess the downside is that there will always be someone hotter than you, but on the upside, perhaps they’ll always be someone you dated for whom you were the hottest one. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492/49 "2008-05-08T20:42:55Z")
A friend of mine once posited the theory of “threshold of attractiveness.” That is, everyone has a minimum level of attractiveness under which they really would not date, but attractiveness is not a big issue above that level. I think this theory applies when men (or women, for that matter) are dating with a view to finding love and probably marriage. Not so much when they’re just dating to have a good time - there I think men in particular will go for the hottest girl they can find who is willing to date them. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492/50 "2008-05-08T21:12:20Z")
I had dated models and actresses. Most of them were probably more attractive than the woman I chose to marry. I also dated some women who were literally rocket scientists. They were more intelligent. I guess. The woman I chose to ask to marry me just matched up with me the best. She fit in all the right places, intelligencewise, sense of humor, attractiveness, ambition, etc. Fortunately for me, she chose to say, “yes.” ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492/51 "2008-05-10T21:12:17Z")
I believe that men marry for character,personalityand some times for the sheer sexual aura of the woman rather then good looks. I’ve been out with a couple of stunningly beautiful women in the past(O.K I had to drug them and /or give them money)and it would be great feeling the lust, envy and to be honest,disbelief (As in "What on earth does she see in him for gods sake)from the majority of blokes who had a pulse when out in public. But in private they were the most mind numbingly boring people on Earth and being kind, pretty average between the sheets. My theory is that when a woman is that hot they don’t need to bother about trying to be interesting socially or exciting lovers so they never learn. In no time at all I’d be climbing the walls trying to escape from the relationships and when we finally did go our seperate ways every male who knew me would be saying that I must have been completely out of my mind packing them in. Before anyone jumps in I’m not saying that all stunning women are boring but I suspect that there are more of them that are then those who have to try a little harder ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492/52 "2008-05-10T23:50:35Z")
I know for a fact that I’m not the most physically attractive woman my husband ever dated. For a while, he dated a truly stunning woman who used to be a model. They had serious compatibility issues, though. The fact that she was crazy and a chronic liar didn’t help, either. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-men-generally-marry-their-most-attractive-girlfriend/448492.md?page=2)