# Do NOT assume that because I don't have kids I'm in the wrong! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 24, 2002, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682 "2002-10-24T14:07:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@BF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BF)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/21 "2002-10-24T17:18:20Z")
**Lsura** wrote: > [@](#): > > But the kid’s table is more fun - especially now that all of us in our upper 20’s/lower 30’s who are unmarried and without kids sit there. That’s just it, the bulk of the family’s culture is you are not an adult until you’re married and have children(I’ve got cousins who are grandparents), so needless to say, most of the kids now at the table are under ten years of age, physically. (So according to my Mom, I fit right in mentally) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/22 "2002-10-24T17:28:17Z")
Actually, **Dangerosa** , it’s almost impossible to find a physician who will tie the tubes of a woman under 30. They all seem convinced you’ll sue them for it later. (This from the experience of my roommate. It hasn’t been an issue for me, even though I don’t want kids either - I’m not having sex with anyone.) ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/23 "2002-10-24T17:32:04Z")
I will never have children. My progeny, however, will be spawned into an army the likes of which have never been seen on the face of this Earth. Tyrants will cower in fear. Whole nations will tremble. Empires will fall. Continents will succumb. My spawn and I will rule the world. . . And we’ll be more devastating than that Clone Army from Episode II: My descendants will be able to drink and party harder than anyone else on the planet. Tripler Just think about it: Entire LEGIONS of shock troops gettin’ jiggy with it. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/24 "2002-10-24T17:35:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > \*\* > > **Ghandi5569** , I want to applaud you for your courage. So many people don’t realize until after they have the munchkins that they don’t want to be a parent. > > You are smart enough to know yourself and your capabilities and limitations. You are to be congratulated. \*\* With all due respect, how do you know she knows her capabilities? Isn’t it possible she has no idea what her capabilities and limitations truly are? I’m not sure such a stance is to be “congratulated.” It’s one thing to believe kids aren’t the way for you to go at this point in life, and it’s another one completely to believe you’ll never, ever, ever, _ever_ want kids, because you hate them. Is hate to be congratulated? ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/25 "2002-10-24T17:37:52Z")
If you ever think for a moment that you’ve changed your mind and might want sproggins, get a job at a restaurant or a retail store for awhile and watch all the hideous monsters people drag in during the day. Mother of Dog, I helped the most worn out looking, exhausted woman yesterday to make a framing order, and the ENTIRE time, a full half hour at least, her two little boys did nothing but cry, scream at the top of their lungs, try to climb on the counters, and beat up on each other. One looked to be maybe between 1 and 2 and the other was probably around 4 years old. The 4 year old walked over to one of the young women waiting and the counter and stuck his head between her legs to look up her skirt. He also kept grabbing my [sharp, not for little paws] fillet samples off the rack that was sitting on the counter. My store is full of glass and sharp objects and it’s NOT a place where you can let your kids run around like banshees at, like it was Toys R Us or something. The mother ignored them the whole time and insisted on finishing her framing order over their wailing and screaming, and told them, “No, you’re misbehaving, you’re not getting anything today.” and such because the 4 y.o. wanted to go somewhere after they left that store. She ended up buying him something to get him to be quiet as they were LEAVING the store. In other words, I had to listen to all that screaming and then she rewarded the little snots for behaving the way they did. Dog help us all… I tried having myself sterilized when I was 20 and was turned down. I’m now almost 23 and I plan on trying to have it done again as soon as I move again (or possibly even next summer if I can, regardless of moving.) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/26 "2002-10-24T17:52:09Z")
Yeah, SisterCoyote, I realized that. Don’t think I’d do it if I were a gyn - too many people do change their mind on the issue - and a tubal reversal doesn’t have a great success rate. When we did the infertility thing, I was online with several women who had managed to get their tubes tied in their twenties, and in their thirties decided to have them untied - and now were on the infertility support pages - generally having eggs harvested for IVF. Though I’d think someone would do an IUD for a 22 year old. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/27 "2002-10-24T17:56:40Z")
I never planned on having kids. Not that I didn’t like them, but I knew I was too selfish to be a “good” (PLEASE not parentheses) mother. Then came LilMiss. I wouldn’t trade her for the world. She was not planned, a complete surprise considering the various forms of birth control that were used to supposedly keep her from showing up. And, FWIW, I am a darned good mom. She’s made it this far without serious injury, she’s intelligent, and all in all wonderful. BUT I **ain’t** gonna do it again. Nope. So I figure I’ve done my job at propagating the over populated world. Her dad’s family name will live on another generation. Now I hear “You’re still young yet, you can have more kids. You don’t want LilMiss to be an only child, DO you?” What, so I had one that naturally means I want another? They aren’t Lays potato chips. I talk to the soccer moms from hell at her school and they proudly talk about their Michaels, Kelseys, Lindseys, Thomases… WAIT, you’re the same age as me and you’ve had HOW many kids? When they are trying to keep little Kelsey from biting little Lindsey over the Elmo doll while also trying to quiet Thomas who’s teething-I just cannot figure out why. So when a moron asks why don’t I want more children, I ask (usually) her why she wants so many children. Do they have a farm that needs tending? A sweatshop short of workers? Suffice it to say, I am not the most welcome person at the PTA meetings. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/28 "2002-10-24T18:51:14Z")
I don’t see why it pisses you off, IDBB, who cares what other people think? If you are content with your decision, then that’s all that matters. stoid spayed in 1996 ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_The\_Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/29 "2002-10-24T19:08:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by I\_Dig\_Bad\_Boys \* > \*\*One day I WILL have a kid(it’s bound to happen eventually if I’m not infertile) and he/she will be the most fucked up kid on the block. \*\* I guess it’s nice to have a goal in life. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/30 "2002-10-24T19:13:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Freyr \* > \*\*Those damn heterosexuals, flaunting that heterosexual lifestyle! Shoving their lifestyle down your throat! Jeez, there ought to be a law! \*\* \*\* Freyr,\*\* ``` Don't worry. If they're shoving it down their throats, they ain't getting pregnant that way. ``` \*\* Tripler, \*\* ``` I figure the TriplerClones will invade Milwaukee and St. Louis, get intoxicated on their early success, and probably accidentally blow each other up, DWI. (demolition while intoxicated) ``` Lurker, childless by choice. [sub] mine and all the women of the world’s [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/31 "2002-10-24T19:56:01Z")
I’ve taken to answering incredibly rude questions like “when are YOU having kids?” by looking the person straight in the eye and saying “WHAT?” They repeat the question, I say “WHAT?” This continues until the idiot scratches his/her head and walks away. You don’t owe anyone an explaination. Don’t offer one. Fuck 'em if they don’t like it. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/32 "2002-10-24T20:08:46Z")
In all fairness, **JinWicked** , a lot of ill-behaved children in stores and restaurants are that way because Mommy had one more errand to do. The kids are tired, cranky as hell, and bored to tears. They’re overstimulated as well, hence the reason for their hyperactivity. Robin ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/33 "2002-10-24T20:21:35Z")
Actually, **Dangerosa** , it’s not the easisest thing in the world to get an IUD if you’ve never had a kid, regardless of your age. The people at PP tried like hell to shove me away from the IUD info and kept telling me how easy and effective and blah, blah, blah Depo would be. This after I told them repeatedly that I’ve had problems with hormonal birth control that make me unwilling to even consider it again. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/34 "2002-10-24T20:23:15Z")
You know…This wouldn’t bother you if you had kids… _runs out of the room with hands covering head_ ---
**Author:** ![panache](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c77e96/32.png) [@panache](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/35 "2002-10-24T20:50:20Z")
flight is wise **Meatros** i think the problem here is not that children are wicked (although sometimes i wonder) but that the ones that get taken out in public with their harried parents are the product of crap parenting- no WONDER little timmy practically shits himself at the store if he knows a candy bar is the result of his efforts- was pavlov just dickin’ around for his own amusement? to the ladies who don’t want kids, unfortunately you’d probably make better parents than half of the ones on the loose today (not that i’m engouraging that at all.) you could see past the “but little timmy just CAN’T get upset” crappola- my parents never bought that and taught me that making a scene in public was poor form, and i grew up to…post semi-obscene messages on the internet…hmmm, perhaps i should rethink this philosophy… ps. sorry about the hijaack to poor parenting, back on topic, you go ladies, and keep pushing for that IUD! ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/36 "2002-10-24T21:01:21Z")
PP just flat-out wouldn’t give me an IUD (at age 25) - neither would my university clinic. I had to call all over town until I found a private gynecologist willing to place one. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/37 "2002-10-24T21:05:53Z")
IUDs are best for women who have had at least one child and are in a monogamous relationship. Few GYNs will place one unless both conditions are met. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/38 "2002-10-24T22:23:47Z")
To any man who advises me that I ought to have children, I invariably answer, “Oh, I’d definitely have kids if I could be the _dad_.” Big, big difference between having to be the mom and getting to be the dad. ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/39 "2002-10-24T22:26:41Z")
**I Dig,** I got the same questions for years. I have never wanted kids, but some people are so damn nosy - why would they care what I have (or don’t have?). Sometimes I felt like asking others why they **want** kids. But I didn’t, that would be just as rude as them asking me why I don’t want them. Finally, at the age of 37, it has gotten better. It’s been a couple years since anyone has asked me when I was going to have kids. ---
**Author:** ![furr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ab992/32.png) [@furr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furr)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682/40 "2002-10-24T23:31:59Z")
im completely open about the fact we arent going to have kids and that my partner is snipped. ive never had to put up with ‘ull change your mind’ ‘oh when u get older ull want them’ …not once. well thats a lie. it happened once at the doctors when i inquired about a getting fixed, but i was 19 at the time. and even then it wasnt the ‘oh my god your a freak’ look and tone of voice that alot of childfree people seem to have to put up with. it was more a ‘we arent really happy doing that to a 19 yr old, come back when your older and well talk again’ still a brush off, but i can also see there point of view. i do however get alot of questions about the reasons for my choices, but they are always asked in a respectful way and seem to come from pure curiousity rather than disgust or shock. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-assume-that-because-i-dont-have-kids-im-in-the-wrong/133682.md?page=3)