# Do not doubt the Penis of God **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 24, 2002, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314 "2002-08-24T00:07:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/1 "2002-08-24T00:07:24Z")
[http://www.onemilliondads.com/CurrentIssue.asp](http://www.onemilliondads.com/CurrentIssue.asp) Here is a snip: "Dannon Yogurt Backs Radical Feminists, Says God is a Woman Dannon Yogurt has joined the battle to rewrite the Bible. In a new print ad, Dannon proudly boasts “100 Calories. 0% Fat. Proof that there is a God and she is a woman watching her figure.” (Woman’s Day, Sept. 1, 2002, page 17.) " :rolleyes: Personally, I find it hilarious that they are so certain that god even HAS a gender, let alone which one it is. **OpalCat** “because even gods need to pee” ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/2 "2002-08-24T00:38:31Z")
I am switching from Yoplait to Dannon just to annoy these misogynists! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/3 "2002-08-24T00:41:21Z")
Could God get an erection so large that even He could not … Nope, I’m not going to go there. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/4 "2002-08-24T00:46:04Z")
Didn’t **Crunchy** have a sig saying that **manny** said his ( **Crunchy’s** ) erection was God? \*inspired by me saying God was everywhere and everything was God, so **Crunchy** asked if that meant God was there when he…well, never mind, you kinda had to be there. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![g8rguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@g8rguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/g8rguy)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/5 "2002-08-24T00:49:26Z")
Wow, that’s reminds me of the time my high school chaplain explained the Trinity as God the Mother, God the Sister, and God the Lesbian Lover. To which we can now add God the Dieter. Neat! ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/6 "2002-08-24T00:58:24Z")
If god _had_ a penis (or a vagina, for that matter) he/she would probably be too busy with the truly devine activity (fucking) to have created anything else. Or, presuming that the “creation” came first (accidental pun, I assure you), he/she, having discovered the devine activity, would be far too busy pursuing that activity thereafter to be concerned at all with mere mortals. Conclusion: God is either nonexistent, dead, or too busy fucking for us to worry about. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RexDart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@RexDart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RexDart)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/7 "2002-08-24T00:59:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Beeblebrox \* > \*\*Could God get an erection so large that even He could not … > > Nope, I’m not going to go there. Carry on. \*\* Oh come on, please do!! This is one of those times I’m sooooooo glad I’m an atheist. If I were a theist having to contend with radical feminists (people who I try to avoid getting into _any_ discussion with) over whether God had a gender and what it was…well, I’d probably kill myself and ask God him/her-self just to avoid the agony. (Allright, I didn’t want to say this but…if God’s a woman, do we really want to know where that river of blood in Exodus came from?) ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/8 "2002-08-24T01:17:02Z")
**[sup]Special Guest Poster:[/sup]** \*Hi. God here. Guess what? I’m God. I don’t give a shit how fat I am. What? I’m going to have a stroke? I’m going to have a heart attack? I’m God. I’m not going to have a fucking stroke. I won’t be attractive? I won’t be able to get laid? I’M GOD!!! Think about. Oh and stop killing each other. That sucks.\* ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/9 "2002-08-24T01:28:42Z")
_I’m God. I don’t have to eat any fucking yogurt._ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/10 "2002-08-24T01:30:11Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by me_ > \*\*Could God get an erection so large that even He could not … \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > **I’m God. I’m not going to have a fucking stroke.** I am so fucking juvenile 🙂 **RexDart** , don’t lie. You did want to post that. It was too funny not to. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/11 "2002-08-24T01:38:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Daowajan \* > \*\*\*I’m God. \* \*\* No you’re not. _ **I’M** God!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![Rossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@Rossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rossarian)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/12 "2002-08-24T02:03:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\* > No you’re not. _ **I’M** God!!!_ \*\* Say’s who? I didn’t vote for you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/13 "2002-08-24T02:19:49Z")
You don’t VOTE for God! ---
**Author:** ![Rossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@Rossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rossarian)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/14 "2002-08-24T02:23:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Smeghead \* > \*\*You don’t VOTE for God! \*\* Takes the bait… Well, how do you become God, then? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/15 "2002-08-24T02:24:03Z")
Yeah, God is appointed by Parliament. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@The\_Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tim)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/16 "2002-08-24T02:24:29Z")
Piers Anthony would disagree with you. ---
**Author:** ![mighty\_maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@mighty\_maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mighty_maxx)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/17 "2002-08-24T02:54:24Z")
I think God derives from a madate from the masses ---
**Author:** ![mighty\_maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@mighty\_maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mighty_maxx)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/18 "2002-08-24T02:54:24Z")
I think God derives from a mandate from the masses ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/19 "2002-08-24T03:54:14Z")
Wouldn’t the penis of God be the same thing as the penis of Jesus? Didn’t they have a Vatican council about this? ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/20 "2002-08-24T03:57:23Z")
* * * If god had a penis (or a vagina, for that matter) he/she would probably be too busy with the truly devine activity (fucking) to have created anything else. Or, presuming that the “creation” came first (accidental pun, I assure you), he/she,having discovered the devine activity, would be far too busy pursuing that activity thereafter to be concerned at all with mere mortals. * * * But who would he/she fuck? I can’t possibly imagine that mere mortals would be satisfying enough to a god… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314.md?page=2)