# Do not doubt the Penis of God **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 24, 2002, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314 "2002-08-24T00:07:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/41 "2002-08-24T13:04:02Z")
Especially while fucking. :d&r: ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/42 "2002-08-24T13:15:23Z")
The whole world and everyone in it is an aspect of God. S/He has _lots_ of penises. ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/43 "2002-08-24T13:34:35Z")
God is watching her weight? But God is perfect. God could not percieve herself as imperfect. Silly yoghurt people. And surely it’s spelled “Danone”. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/44 "2002-08-24T13:41:32Z")
Actually, I know that God is a lousy lay. Why? Cause you can’t have both \*\* God \*\* and the \*\* Big Bang \*\* ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/45 "2002-08-24T15:03:03Z")
Interesting theory, Annie. Would that mean that we should all call Creationism the “Little Dribble” theory? ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/46 "2002-08-24T17:13:05Z")
Maybe God is like Hermes from Greek mythology- both male and female sex organs. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/47 "2002-08-24T17:30:39Z")
Or maybe God has some as-yet-undiscovered sex organ… a pengina! Imagine… a large, throbbing shaft extends between God’s legs, only to end in two swollen lips that spread wide open, inviting all who wish to enjoy divine pleasure to enter… ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/48 "2002-08-24T17:41:06Z")
Okay, that’s it. No more Japanese Porn for you, **SPOOFE**. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/49 "2002-08-24T18:12:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*Actually, I know that God is a lousy lay. Why? Cause you can’t have both \*\* God \*\* and the \*\* Big Bang \*\* \*\* You kidding? With god, sex would have to _ **be** _ the big bang! Hey, maybe the universe is the result of a great celestial fuck. Ever wonder why our home planet is called _mother_ Earth? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![xanadu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c4cdca/32.png) [@xanadu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xanadu)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/50 "2002-08-25T03:49:55Z")
_Ican’t believe no one’s said this_ Ya see, If Dannon was _really_ smart they’d say that God was a man in order to promote their yogurt, 'cause yogurt looks suspiciously like… This message was brought to you by Dannon - Because we _do_ swallow. ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/51 "2002-08-25T04:03:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by monica \* > \*\*Maybe God is like Hermes from Greek mythology- both male and female sex organs. \*\* Correction: Hermes had only male sex organs. You’re thinking of Hermaphrodite, his offspring by Aphrodite. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/52 "2002-08-25T05:29:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Phoenix Dragon \* > \*\* > > I find it hilarious that someone who recently started a pit thread about religious people being offended at religious jokes, is now starting a pit thread _about_ a particular religious joke 🙂 > > Sorry, couldn’t help it 🙂 \*\* But it isn’t a joke. Those people are _actually mad at Dannon_ and are advocating a ban and a letter-writing campaign against Dannon for making a joke in their commercial. ---
**Author:** ![Satyagrahi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f475e1/32.png) [@Satyagrahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satyagrahi)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/53 "2002-08-25T05:30:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DesertGeezer \* > **Hey, \*\* Satyagrahi** , that quote about the “devine activity” was **monica** ’s quote of me. Credit where credit is due, ya know? Although on Judgment Day (if there is one) I don’t suppose the credit thing will be an issue. 😃 \*\* I offer my sincere apologies, **DesertGeezer**. Although, were it me, I wouldn’t be so quick to claim credit for “devine.” I think that’s closer to what one does to shrimp before cooking. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![peasea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc79bd/32.png) [@peasea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peasea)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/54 "2002-08-25T05:33:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Satyagrahi \* > \*\*Although, were it me, I wouldn’t be so quick to claim credit for “devine.” I think that’s closer to what one does to shrimp before cooking. 🙂 \*\* Or maybe it’s what God drinks when she’s done wit de yogurt? ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix\_Dragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Phoenix\_Dragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phoenix_Dragon)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/55 "2002-08-25T10:57:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\* > > But it isn’t a joke. Those people are _actually mad at Dannon_ and are advocating a ban and a letter-writing campaign against Dannon for making a joke in their commercial. \*\* Doh! I thought you started the pit thread about the joke itself, didn’t even think of the fact that the page was complaining about it… Sorry 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/56 "2002-08-26T04:49:12Z")
It really shows how out of touch these people are. Radical feminists don’t watch their figures! They eat yogurt for the flavor, and at least they used to, to fight yeast infections. Too bad Yogurt is so very disgusting when found outside of Indian cuisine, I would like to support Dannon. ---
**Author:** ![cthulhuCultist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cthulhuCultist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cthulhuCultist)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/57 "2002-08-26T05:20:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lee \* > \*\*Too bad Yogurt is so very disgusting when found outside of Indian cuisine, I would like to support Dannon. \*\* Hmmm, I actually really like yogurt. I don’t have the other qualifications to be a radical feminist, though… ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/58 "2002-08-26T05:35:09Z")
I used their form letter thing that sends email to Dannon to congratulate Dannon on their ad campaign. ;D ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/59 "2002-08-26T06:01:05Z")
Well, I e-mail onemilliondads and asked them if they thought god had testicles. But I bet they don’t answer me. Honestly, how bizzare is it for a monothiest to insist god has a gender? There are various stories about panthiestic gods in divine congress that make sense on a metaphorical level, but if you think of a god as male and all alone…wait, I get it. The universe is one big masturbation fantasy! ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314/60 "2002-08-26T06:14:30Z")
I emailed them the same question and have yet to get an answer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-doubt-the-penis-of-god/125314.md?page=4)