# Do NOT "Just Drop In" on people without notice! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 11, 2024, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740 "2024-06-11T15:27:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/41 "2024-06-12T00:37:30Z")
Not if the niece tells her story. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/42 "2024-06-12T00:48:02Z")
It’s going to depend on cultural expectations. With both side of the story in my largely Polish-born relatives, the niece’s story would be the dominant narrative. Depends on if you care. I suspect most posters wouldn’t give a damn. I don’t really care myself what others think, but my own personality is that I would never not allow a friend the use of my bathroom. Yes, even if I suspect it is just an invitation to hang around. I’m not saying the OP is wrong — it’s just clashes with my own upbringing. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/43 "2024-06-12T01:06:04Z")
Oddly, I am generally Okay for my friends to do this. Because- they are my _friends._ Sure, it’d be nice to get a call or text or something first, but you know, I am cool with it. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/44 "2024-06-12T01:11:31Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Strangers not welcome in these here parts. > They will not be asking to pee. > They would be there for nefarious purposes only. Believe me. I was beset by highwaymen and barely escaped through the woods with the clothes on my back! I beseech thee, o merciful lady, succour this wretched and hapless stranger. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/45 "2024-06-12T01:23:27Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Strangers not welcome in these here parts. This thread is not about strangers, it is about relatives and friends. All my relatives are in Canada, and of course I would welcome thim. Yeah, I am not happy with strangers, but I dont get rude with them. I did door to door once- and I will never be rude to them again. I mean I do say “Not interested”- but sometimes i even offer them a beverage if it is hot. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/46 "2024-06-12T01:43:23Z")
This is bringing Wrong Turn movies to mind! ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/47 "2024-06-12T01:45:39Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > But not letting the kids use the bathroom is a level of cold I couldn’t stoop to. Ditto! While I certainly understand people who need advance notice for company… My mother-in-law came from a huge family where dropping in unexpectedly on each other was cause for delight at almost any time, day or evening. And they had 5 of their own kids and their families. They were proud to have folks who wanted to be with them. The house was as often as not filled with happy people. It doesn’t bother me at all to have unexpected drop-ins. It doesn’t happen very often, though. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/48 "2024-06-12T01:54:18Z")
Those of you who welcome unexpected company, can you imagine being in the OP’s place, in the middle of a thorough house cleaning, looking a mess and with all of the seating surfaces covered? And four of the visitors were children (though it’s not clear how young they were). ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/49 "2024-06-12T02:00:04Z")
OP said niece, not friend. It has turned into answering the door, to guests. I just said my piece. Sorry I did not meet your uncompromising standards. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/50 "2024-06-12T02:06:28Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Those of you who welcome unexpected company, can you imagine being in the OP’s place, in the middle of a thorough house cleaning, looking a mess and with all of the seating surfaces covered? And four of the visitors were children (though it’s not clear how young they were) Sure. If I were in the middle of something that _couldn’t_ easily be paused, like painting, I’d shoo them away after bathroom visits. Otherwise, I guess I’d play it by ear. The OP sounds like they really dislike the family that stopped by in general (perhaps rightly so) which would make a difference. If my visitors were people I didn’t like, Idk, I might do the same thing as them, hard to say. ---
**Author:** ![Apodder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apodder/32/17727_2.png) [@Apodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apodder)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/51 "2024-06-12T02:10:33Z")
The TRUE story, that is… I feel that’s not likely… ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/52 "2024-06-12T02:19:24Z")
Probably not. The niece is going to spin it as the OP being horribly rude. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/53 "2024-06-12T02:24:47Z")
Moderating: > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Sorry I did not meet your uncompromising standards. You’re in MPSIMS, not the Pit. Don’t take swipes at other posters. DrDeth explained only what his own practice is. He wasn’t making any judgment about what yours is. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/54 "2024-06-12T03:16:12Z")
Wow, people! So many, on both sides. I admitted up front I was somewhere on the rude side of the line by the time I shut my door. But I know “Lark” and you don’t. While she’s a decent enough person, and I like her in the sense I can spend a few hours around her, chit chatting while we’re having some family party or event or such, there’s no denying she isn’t 1) somewhat pushy, as in set on getting what she wants because its obviously the right thing and therefore she should cheerfully ignore and override anyone who thinks otherwise and 2) convinced that “it takes a village” means that mothers have near-constitutional rights to expect everyone else to help provide her children with whatever they might want right away. The main reason I didn’t let the kids in was I was pretty sure once past the door I would not get rid of them and mom until I’d prepared a lunch for them and likely for a few hours total. Also, trust me, I know the signs of kids needing to pee urgently. No was dancing about, standing cross-legged, clutching at crotches, etc. Yes, it would be a good idea to get them to a bathroom before the drive back home, but they could be inside the McD within five minutes. Unfortunately it did not occur to me to turn them into slave labor. Must remember that one if the situation ever happens again! Someone asked: the kids are 8, 7, 5, and 3 years old. (Had to edit, left one out!( As for what she’ll tell the family? No doubt that I’m a cranky old witch who is getting older and crankier all the time. Well, that’s mostly true, 🙂 Also, all of the family _also_ know how Lark and I both are, and have no doubt formed their opinions about us long ago. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/55 "2024-06-12T03:28:30Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > OP said niece, not friend. I said relatives and friends, and a niece is a relative. There is a vast and huge differences between relatives and friends ringing your doorbell- ve strangers. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/56 "2024-06-12T03:31:35Z")
When I was little, neighbors would come by and visit, as most moms were home all day. But everyone knew they were welcome. Now, someone would have to buzz me to enter the building, and I don’t answer it. If someone is coming by, they will text me. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/57 "2024-06-12T03:49:18Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > My sympathies are with the OP but the niece is going to tell the family that the OP was being rude. No offense to the OP, but I think maybe because I’m not a total misanthropic asshole, I don’t mind if family and friends just popped in to say hi. I just don’t understand what the OP thought was so egregious about her niece interrupting her all-important plans for cleaning that day. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/58 "2024-06-12T04:28:45Z")
The house was totally taken apart. The job had to be completed. If the project hadn’t been started yet, it would be a different story. Maybe OP actually does their own cleaning and doesn’t have the luxury of hired help. ---
**Author:** ![Newtosite](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/newtosite/32/8623_2.png) [@Newtosite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Newtosite)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/59 "2024-06-12T05:05:14Z")
I can’t stand having unexpected guests either. One time a “friend” came by and pounded on my door. I resolved not to answer it, and remained on my couch doing computer work. She opened my front door’s mail slot, looked in, and shouted, “I can see you!” So much for pretending I wasn’t home. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2024, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740/60 "2024-06-12T05:55:01Z")
Heh, even in the 70s, if you wanted to be sure I’d be ready to receive you, you’d call. I’d let you in to use the bathroom, but I’ve always been comfortable telling uninvited guests “Ok, I’m getting back to what I was doing before you showed up.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-not-just-drop-in-on-people-without-notice/1002740.md?page=4)