# Do nurses or doctors ever have to masturbate disabled or paralyzed people? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 13, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572 "2012-09-13T03:45:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Doggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/87869e/32.png) [@Doggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doggo)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/182 "2013-11-28T08:54:17Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Christopher Reeve said that his sex life with his wife never went away, although it definitely changed. John Hockenberry, who is a partial paraplegic, has also said that in addition to having normal sexual function, he also has normal bladder and bowel function too; he uses a wheelchair because his legs cannot support him. He does have some motion and sensation in them. There is a Discovery Channel program that has aired a number of times titled “Paralyzed and Pregnant”, about a quadriplegic woman who had a baby, and she did say that her orgasms are much more powerful now than they were before her accident. Unfortunately, that marriage failed; she shares custody with her ex-husband, and sadly is completely unable to do any physical care for her child - all of it must be done by other people. Not a small number of people have said, “Typical man, runs out on his disabled wife” but she had been disabled for some years before he met her, and I’ll be the first to say that disabled or chronically ill people can be EXTREMELY difficult to live with. ☹ Nobody would criticize a woman who left her quadriplegic husband, I can assure you of that. > > Does anyone remember the story about Sandra Day O’Connor’s husband, now deceased, who struck up a relationship in the nursing home with another woman? Apparently this is fairly common, and a movie was made about it a few years ago. He didn’t know who she or their kids were any more, and the family was actually okay with it after the shock wore off, because as one of their sons said, “The light has come back on for him again.” I met my para ex after she became wheelchair dependent, but being a para did not make her a nice person, and it would be a sorry person that tried to criticise me for leaving her. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/183 "2013-11-28T14:27:30Z")
Aw, isn’t the widdle disabled person the most cutest and grateful to be cared-for person you’ve _ever_ seen? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/184 "2013-11-28T15:56:07Z")
What’s also interesting of course is that there was once a fad for administering orgasms to female patients as a cure for psychological ills (not in the interests of giving them pleasure), and that’s what vibrators were invented for - to relieve doctors of the tiresome necessity of having to use their bare hands. ---
**Author:** ![MrBurger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@MrBurger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrBurger)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/185 "2013-11-28T17:25:35Z")
Not trying to derail the thread or anything, but all this reminds me of the scene in “Johnny Got His Gun” where a limbless, faceless WWI vet who survived a land mine was pleasured by a sympathetic nurse. Since most of this thread deals with modern consequences of such an action, I wonder if in the past (before sexual harrassment laws, lawsuits, most cities turning a blind eye to prostitution) things like this were more common- for example nurses feeling sorry for disabled returning vets or in battlefield hospitals. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/186 "2013-11-28T20:00:41Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > What’s also interesting of course is that there was once a fad for administering orgasms to female patients as a cure for psychological ills (not in the interests of giving them pleasure), and that’s what vibrators were invented for - to relieve doctors of the tiresome necessity of having to use their bare hands. IIRC, Cecils column on it stated that the task was usually turfed to nurses anyway. I suspect that a lot of the ‘psychological ills’ diagnosis was just a fig leaf for the church, and a lot of nudge nudge, wink wink was going on among the professionals. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/187 "2013-11-28T21:40:04Z")
> [@MrBurger](#): > > Not trying to derail the thread or anything, but all this reminds me of the scene in “Johnny Got His Gun” where a limbless, faceless WWI vet who survived a land mine was pleasured by a sympathetic nurse. Since most of this thread deals with modern consequences of such an action, I wonder if in the past (before sexual harrassment laws, lawsuits, most cities turning a blind eye to prostitution) things like this were more common- for example nurses feeling sorry for disabled returning vets or in battlefield hospitals. Well, if you go back before the Crimean War, nurses were more likely than not to \*be \*prostitutes. They were camp followers and girlfriends of soldiers, as well, and when a soldier got wounded, if he was lucky and/or could pay, his girlfriend or a prostitute would make him food, change his bandages and do his laundry. None of those things were routinely done by the “hospitals” of the time - it was all very catch-as-catch can (according to Florence’s memoir, anyhow). What Nightingale did, in between inventing the pie chart and refusing to tend to anyone without doctor’s orders, was browbeat a bunch of respectable young ladies from good families into keeping their legs shut while they provided actual care and infection control. So that was a longwinded way of saying…yes. If you go back far enough, I am certain “nurses” sexually serviced their patients, because that was their primary job. The nursing came second. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2013, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/188 "2013-11-29T01:19:11Z")
**WhyNot** , I’ve been meaning to thank you for a while for your contributions, knowledge, wit, responsiveness, all that SD razzmatazz, and I think in this thread you are absolutely killer. There. Now I’ve done it. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2013, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/189 "2013-11-29T02:40:21Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > Aw, isn’t the widdle disabled person the most cutest and grateful to be cared-for person you’ve _ever_ seen? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/190 "2013-11-29T14:49:29Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > Anyone else here seen “Murderball?” I missed this earlier. Yes, I saw it and loved it. ---
**Author:** ![midnight\_rush](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@midnight\_rush](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/midnight_rush)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/191 "2013-12-01T09:34:15Z")
When I was 10 my spinal cord was severed at C1 C2 in a bad accident leaving me 100% paralyzed from the middle of my neck down. I’m almost 19 now and have very little sensation but can still get erections within seconds. I get very powerful urges for needing “sexual relief” and I can’t ever take care of them. At least 3 times a week I feel like I’ve been kicked in the nuts throughout the entire day. Apparently it’s illegal for caretakers to help with that where I live… There’s “autoblow” sex toys out there but they’re complete junk and definitely not worth the $150… So unless you’re lucky enough to have a girlfriend/wife, lots of money to pay a prostitute $200 every time you need it or live in Japan where they offer services for this exact situation then say hello to severe sexual frustration. After almost 9 years of this crap has gotten me to the point of wanting my testicles removed or to put a “hit” out on myself since I obviously can’t do it. The moral of the story is that the rest of your life will be constant torture along with frustration of extreme proportions and depression. Those all combined will literally make you lose your mind. This was completely written by ME with my Quadjoy and on screen keyboard so don’t even bother trolling me. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/192 "2013-12-02T00:10:32Z")
> [@midnight\_rush](#): > > When I was 10 my spinal cord was severed at C1 C2 in a bad accident leaving me 100% paralyzed from the middle of my neck down. I’m almost 19 now and have very little sensation but can still get erections within seconds. I get very powerful urges for needing “sexual relief” and I can’t ever take care of them. At least 3 times a week I feel like I’ve been kicked in the nuts throughout the entire day. Apparently it’s illegal for caretakers to help with that where I live… There’s “autoblow” sex toys out there but they’re complete junk and definitely not worth the $150… So unless you’re lucky enough to have a girlfriend/wife, lots of money to pay a prostitute $200 every time you need it or live in Japan where they offer services for this exact situation then say hello to severe sexual frustration. After almost 9 years of this crap has gotten me to the point of wanting my testicles removed or to put a “hit” out on myself since I obviously can’t do it. The moral of the story is that the rest of your life will be constant torture along with frustration of extreme proportions and depression. Those all combined will literally make you lose your mind. Welcome, **midnight rush**. I can’t even begin to imagine how frustrating your situation would be. Have you read this whole thread? Did you see my posts about [the Venus 2000](https://www.sybian.com/venus/)? The retail price is nearly $1000, but that is the same as five visits from a prostitute, and you have a machine that is real and effective. Contact Abco, and I’m confident they will put you in contact with one of their customers, and very likely they have someone in a similar situation with you who can give you an honest review. In the past, they offered refurbished units to disabled veterans at a discount, so they might give you a break. I’d imagine the principal issue will be your parents, and the tendency to infantilize the disabled, to deny that you have the same sexual needs as any other 19 year old male. Do you have a trusted person who could order this, receive it and deliver it to your home? Do you have a caregiver who would be open to placing this device on your penis, and removing it and cleaning it after you come? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/193 "2013-12-02T03:38:40Z")
Robotic handjob: [VG Tenga](http://kotaku.com/elaborate-pc-demo-allows-for-virtual-sex-robot-handjob-1462645304) ---
**Author:** ![Venus2000Maker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e9a140/32.png) [@Venus2000Maker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venus2000Maker)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/194 "2013-12-04T17:15:46Z")
Hello, We received a tip that our machine was being discussed on this thread. I would like to say the conversation has been very informative and considerate (for the most part). We have been manufacturing the Venus 2000 since 1998.(before that the unit was known as Venus II). During that time we have provided relief to many men who had trouble taking care of their own masturbation needs. The Venus 2000 unit is designed so each user can purchase a custom fit receiver to place over the penis. The system is "sealed’ so there is no chance of the system being contaminated as long as the receiver is intact. The Venus 2000 does NOT require and erection for use. We have many disabled clients. I never ask anyone’s level of disability so I am unsure of my quadriplegic client base. I do know of a few who have care givers who help with the set up , application, and cleaning of the system. The unit does have a remote control for on/off and stroke speed. It has a separate control for stroke length. It might be possible for a handy person to mount those for oral control. I realize the initial cost can be daunting. But you should realize this is not some cheaply made novelty. This is an American made product designed to last for YEARS. The original 1998 machines are still going strong. The only things that need upkeep are: The receiver needs new liner if it develops a pinhole or tear , it is natural gum rubber. INSIDE the unit if you use the unit quite often you may need to replace the diaphragm (it reminds me of a toilet plunger). This is NOT something that requires the unit returned to the factory. If you have someone with minor mechanical ability it is quite easy actually. That said, is there any other questions I can help answer? If you wish to ask via email… [abco@sybian.com](mailto:abco@sybian.com) My name is Karen ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/195 "2013-12-04T17:18:51Z")
Thanks, Karen. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/196 "2013-12-04T17:46:52Z")
A friend of mine who can’t take care of himself due to severe Cerebral Palsy has on more than one occasion persuaded a carer to give him a handjob. It was totally not allowed as far as the rules are concerned but I suspect that just made him enjoy it more. It’s also not uncommon for people with similar issues here to visit Amsterdam to partake of legal prostitution. Some sex workers welcome and indeed specialise is providing relief for those who can’t provide it for themselves. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/197 "2013-12-04T19:40:00Z")
Thanks for posting **Venus2000Maker** and responding to my call so quickly. Are there forums for Venus 2000 owners out there where we might find a disabled user who would be able to give his personal view on the product, and what accommodations have been made for him operating it? The health care professionals on this thread like **WhyNot** have indicated that they would be OK with assisting by placing the receiver their patient’s penis, but that it would be important that the patient himself switches it on and off and controls it. It is a thin line, but such thin lines are what makes up a society. > [@](#): > > I realize the initial cost can be daunting. But you should realize this is not some cheaply made novelty. This is an American made product designed to last for YEARS. The original 1998 machines are still going strong. I’ve seen videos of the interior of the Venus 2000 and the Sybian, and both look like they are constructed with angle iron and metal gears with very little plastic. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/198 "2013-12-04T21:11:46Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > … both look like they are constructed with angle iron and metal gears with very little plastic. I’m not sure that’s - reassuring description… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/199 "2013-12-04T21:27:50Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > The health care professionals on this thread like **WhyNot** have indicated that they would be OK with assisting by placing the receiver their patient’s penis, but that **it would be important that the patient himself switches it on and off and controls it**. It is a thin line, but such thin lines are what makes up a society. (bolding mine) I did? No, I didn’t. I drew the line at requiring a physician’s order to use such a device, didn’t I? Where did I say anything about who switches it on and off? ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/200 "2013-12-05T01:30:25Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > (bolding mine) > > I did? No, I didn’t. I drew the line at requiring a physician’s order to use such a device, didn’t I? Where did I say anything about who switches it on and off? Sorry, I didn’t mean to misinterpret what you said, my apologies. But I’m not clear in my own mind what your position is. I read your saying: > [@](#): > > That’s why the machine would make it easier - it depersonalizes the orgasm. It helps to keep it only about the physical release, not about the connection between two people. …and made the jump that having the paralyzed person control it would make it more acceptable, less like you were masturbating someone, but simply assisting them with a bodily function. Let’s say the person is not in a hospital setting, but in his own home. And that other than being paralyzed, he is healthy. At least healthy enough for sexual activity. If it’s not a medical device, is a physician’s further approval required? My interest is solely that of empathizing with folks like **Munkypoop99** and **midnight rush**. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/201 "2013-12-05T01:42:50Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > I’m not sure that’s - reassuring description… :eek: **midnight rush** posted > [@](#): > > There’s “autoblow” sex toys out there but they’re complete junk and definitely not worth the $150. 99% of the sex toy market is utter garbage, especially anything electrical - crappy, tiny little vibes that give out in minutes. There are one or two devices that are quality and reliable, like the Toshiba _Magic Wand_, but they are the rare exceptions. Read my earlier posts. This device has an electric motor that drives a cam and a piston arm, and a sort of suction cup device to produce an oscillating air pressure. That’s in the box. There is a hose that runs from that box to the “receiver”. The oscillating air pressure moves the receiver’s rubber “liner” back and forth inside of a rigid outer shell. Lube up, insert penis, masturbation ensues. Nothing but plastic, rubber and air gets anywhere near the penis. The female machine, the Sybian is similarly well-built. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572.md?page=11)