# Do nurses or doctors ever have to masturbate disabled or paralyzed people? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 13, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572 "2012-09-13T03:45:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/202 "2013-12-05T01:59:58Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Sorry, I didn’t mean to misinterpret what you said, my apologies. But I’m not clear in my own mind what your position is. I read your saying: > …and made the jump that having the paralyzed person control it would make it more acceptable, less like you were masturbating someone, but simply assisting them with a bodily function. > > Let’s say the person is not in a hospital setting, but in his own home. And that other than being paralyzed, he is healthy. At least healthy enough for sexual activity. If it’s not a medical device, is a physician’s further approval required? > > My interest is solely that of empathizing with folks like **Munkypoop99** and **midnight rush**. Let me try again, then. I’m a nurse. There are a few things I can do without doctor’s orders. I can take vital signs without a doctor’s orders. I can perform a nursing assessment without doctor’s orders. I can monitor a patient without doctor’s orders. I can educate a patient without doctor’s orders. That…that’s about it. I can’t hand you a pill without doctor’s orders. I can’t change a band aid without doctor’s orders. I can’t place an IV without doctor’s orders. I can’t put SCD’s (those inflatable squeezy leg things they use after surgery) on you without doctor’s orders. I can’t, thanks to Florence Nightingale and her tireless efforts to make the nursing profession respectable, do much of \*anything _without doctor’s orders_. Medical care and medical procedures need doctor’s orders. If I’m putting a machine on a patient, or using a machine on a patient, I have to have a doctor’s order. If it’s \*not \*medical care or a medical procedure, then I shouldn’t be doing it in a professional medical capacity. I have no problem pushing buttons or turning knobs or doing whatever needs to be done to control the thing if the patient can’t do it. Just as with any medical procedure, my healthcare philosophy is that the patient should do as much as he can for himself, because fostering independence is generally good for people. But no, who turns the switch isn’t of great concern to me. \*Note that we call these “doctor’s orders” not because they necessarily \*originate \*with a doctor, but because a doctor, physician’s assistant or advanced nurse practitioner must review, approve and sign the order. Almost all of my orders are orders for things I know are needed, and so I write a care plan and the doctor reviews, approves and signs it. These are now “doctor’s orders,” even though I wrote them. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/203 "2013-12-05T10:45:52Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I have no problem pushing buttons or turning knobs or doing whatever needs to be done to control the thing if the patient can’t do it. Just as with any medical procedure, my healthcare philosophy is that the patient should do as much as he can for himself, because fostering independence is generally good for people. But no, who turns the switch isn’t of great concern to me. How about this then: If the patient needs (or wants) any sort of service that’s outside your job description, are you at least able to help connect the patient with the appropriate service providers? I picture social work, at some level, as being like a general contractor – not necessarily doing the work, but connecting the client with all the right connections. Do you see yourself as a “social worker” in this sense, helping to set up your patients with his needs, even where you yourself aren’t going to do it? You suggested that the client needs the services of some kind of sex worker, as if this is a job that requires some major special training. Would you help set up the client with one? Why a sex worker? How about a more general care giver? It was mentioned that caregivers help the patients with their bodily functions, clean their butts, deal with their bed pans; bathe them, feed them, etc. Would those same caregivers be appropriate staff for this job? (As opposed to a nurse like you? You already explained your hesitation, in terms of creating an improper emotional relationship.) How about a professional masseur or masseuse? That’s not nearly so specialized as a full-time penis masseuse. No doubt there would be massage professionals who would be willing to take this on, and their general training as a massage therapist would seem appropriate. Would you set up your client with such a professional? I don’t think the clients problem is necessarily so much in having some kind of caregiver who will get them off – the problem is somehow connecting with such a carer in the first place; as well as the client being allowed by his minders to have such a service. As someone noted above, our society actively obstructs that. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/204 "2013-12-05T11:18:55Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > How about a professional masseur or masseuse? That’s not nearly so specialized as a full-time penis masseuse. No doubt there would be massage professionals who would be willing to take this on, and their general training as a massage therapist would seem appropriate. I am not a massage therapist but I’ve known a few, and they run away from anything that smells even remotely of sex. Legitimate massage therapists don’t give “happy endings”, don’t touch the crotch for any reason, and I’d think they’d be even less likely to attach a masturbation tool than a nurse would. Because in our society sex is such a scary thing. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/205 "2013-12-05T13:45:24Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > How about this then: If the patient needs (or wants) any sort of service that’s outside your job description, are you at least able to help connect the patient with the appropriate service providers? I picture social work, at some level, as being like a general contractor – not necessarily doing the work, but connecting the client with all the right connections. Do you see yourself as a “social worker” in this sense, helping to set up your patients with his needs, even where you yourself aren’t going to do it? To some degree, yes. I’m a case manager, and if the patient needs physical therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy or the services of a medical social worker, I will make those referrals. If a client has other needs, like financial needs, needs a homemaker through the department of aging, is living in an unsafe home, etc, then I refer that to a medical social worker, because they know more about community resources than I do. > [@](#): > > You suggested that the client needs the services of some kind of sex worker, as if this is a job that requires some major special training. Would you help set up the client with one? I suggested that the client needs the services of a sex surrogate, because that’s the profession that our culture and laws have determined are allowed to provide sexual stimulation of the genitals for reimbursement without being charged with prostitution. The fact that it’s part of their training to better know how to handle those boundaries, and the fact that they are there for sex/intimacy needs only, and don’t have to be concerned with being there in a non-sexual capacity most of the time are additional considerations. > [@](#): > > Why a sex worker? How about a more general care giver? It was mentioned that caregivers help the patients with their bodily functions, clean their butts, deal with their bed pans; bathe them, feed them, etc. Would those same caregivers be appropriate staff for this job? (As opposed to a nurse like you? You already explained your hesitation, in terms of creating an improper emotional relationship.) I think a general caregiver would have the same boundary issues I do. But I wouldn’t stop them if I found out they were doing it, as long as the patient was clearly capable of and giving consent. I would stop them and report them if the patient were unable to give meaningful consent, because that would be sexual abuse according to our current laws, and I am a mandated reporter for abuse (plus, it’s just the right thing to do.) > [@](#): > > How about a professional masseur or masseuse? That’s not nearly so specialized as a full-time penis masseuse. No doubt there would be massage professionals who would be willing to take this on, and their general training as a massage therapist would seem appropriate. Would you set up your client with such a professional? It’s very \*specifically \*illegal in my state for a licensed massage therapist to touch the genitals or female breasts in any way whatsoever. It’s illegal even for them to be exposed during a massage - we’re a mandatory draping state. The gluteal cleft to the PSIS must be covered at all times, as well as the genitals and female breast tissue, and the massage therapist must not put any part of their body under the drape. So no, I would not make that referral. That’s asking a LMT to put his license on the line, as well as mine, and my city in particular is very hot to prosecute LMTs. > [@](#): > > I don’t think the clients problem is necessarily so much in having some kind of caregiver who will get them off – the problem is somehow connecting with such a carer in the first place; as well as the client being allowed by his minders to have such a service. As someone noted above, our society actively obstructs that. Absolutely. That’s the biggest obstacle I see as well. Thus far, the only unobstructed way to do it is with a sex surrogate. If I knew one, I would totally make that referral (although I doubt Medicare or private insurance will pay for it, as I said a while ago.) ---
**Author:** ![Munkypoop99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Munkypoop99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munkypoop99)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/206 "2013-12-08T22:11:33Z")
y’all are entitled to your opinions. But I guaran-damn-tee that if you became completely paralyzed, as I am, and cannot use anything below shoulders. Your opinions, your thoughts, everything will change in an instant!! ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/207 "2013-12-08T22:26:23Z")
> [@Munkypoop99](#): > > y’all are entitled to your opinions. But I guaran-damn-tee that if you became completely paralyzed, as I am, and cannot use anything below shoulders. Your opinions, your thoughts, everything will change in an instant!! Glad you showed back up. Did you have a chance to read through the whole thread yet? ---
**Author:** ![Munkypoop99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Munkypoop99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munkypoop99)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/208 "2013-12-09T00:03:17Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Glad you showed back up. Did you have a chance to read through the whole thread yet? no, it is way too much work trying to navigate with my voice through all that ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/209 "2013-12-09T00:55:25Z")
> [@Munkypoop99](#): > > no, it is way too much work trying to navigate with my voice through all that I understand. My wife and I have set the forum display properties in the user control panel so the maximum number of posts are displayed per page. So we can just use the “page down” without having to click on the forums “next page” button. Since your last visit, I posted: > [@gaffa](#): > > Abco Research Associates manufactures masturbation machines for both men and women. > > The Sybian, is the more popular of the two. The woman straddles the main unit, operated the remote, and it provides both vibration and internal G-Spot stimulation (not to say that a male user couldn’t use it anally for prostate stimulation). It has received a lot of attention due to famous owners like the Howard Stern Show (though they use it wrong, without the part to go inside and provide G-Spot stimulation). > > Their product for men is the [Venus 2000](https://www.sybian.com/venus/). There is a main box, a control unit and a “receiver” that fits onto a lubricated penis. It strokes back and forth at variable speed. The receivers are custom made for each users length and diameter, and the unit can be used to achieve orgasm even if an erection is not possible. In use, it looks a lot like a milking machine. > > [deleted section] > > So, how would the care professionals posting here feel about placing this unit on the penis of a patient? It would require no more contact than putting on a condom catheter. I don’t know if the controls are available for operation via accessibility systems, so the user might need an assistant to operate the controls. But this a a small company, and they seem open to user feedback and customization. It’s been a number of years since I last visited their site, and previously they offered discounted units to disabled veterans. They have a 45 day satisfaction guarantee for the main unit - obviously the receiver cannot be returned. > > I first learned about this via an article in The Reader, but the gutless wonder of a writer never actually tried the unit, which would have meant that he supply his measurements to Abco to get his fitted receiver. > > Obviously, like almost all of us, someone like **Munkypoop99** would prefer human sexual contact, but if that’s not an option this could at the very least get him off. Check out [the testimonials on their web site](https://www.sybian.com/venus/testimonials.html). …which lead the a long discussion with **WhyNot** and a few other people in health care about the boundaries of assisting with this device. **Muffin** mentioned a Japanese program called White Hands that provides masturbation service to the disabled. The video features a visit to a man with CP: > [@Muffin](#): > > In Japan, yes: [White Hands](http://www.whitehands.jp/e.html). Another paralyzed forum member posted: > [@midnight\_rush](#): > > When I was 10 my spinal cord was severed at C1 C2 in a bad accident leaving me 100% paralyzed from the middle of my neck down. I’m almost 19 now and have very little sensation but can still get erections within seconds. I get very powerful urges for needing “sexual relief” and I can’t ever take care of them. At least 3 times a week I feel like I’ve been kicked in the nuts throughout the entire day. Apparently it’s illegal for caretakers to help with that where I live… There’s “autoblow” sex toys out there but they’re complete junk and definitely not worth the $150… So unless you’re lucky enough to have a girlfriend/wife, lots of money to pay a prostitute $200 every time you need it or live in Japan where they offer services for this exact situation then say hello to severe sexual frustration. After almost 9 years of this crap has gotten me to the point of wanting my testicles removed or to put a “hit” out on myself since I obviously can’t do it. The moral of the story is that the rest of your life will be constant torture along with frustration of extreme proportions and depression. Those all combined will literally make you lose your mind. > > This was completely written by ME with my Quadjoy and on screen keyboard so don’t even bother trolling me. > [@gaffa](#): > > Welcome, **midnight rush**. I can’t even begin to imagine how frustrating your situation would be. Have you read this whole thread? Did you see my posts about [the Venus 2000](https://www.sybian.com/venus/)? The retail price is nearly $1000, but that is the same as five visits from a prostitute, and you have a machine that is real and effective. Contact Abco, and I’m confident they will put you in contact with one of their customers, and very likely they have someone in a similar situation with you who can give you an honest review. In the past, they offered refurbished units to disabled veterans at a discount, so they might give you a break. > > I’d imagine the principal issue will be your parents, and the tendency to infantilize the disabled, to deny that you have the same sexual needs as any other 19 year old male. > > Do you have a trusted person who could order this, receive it and deliver it to your home? Do you have a caregiver who would be open to placing this device on your penis, and removing it and cleaning it after you come? I contacted the manufacturer and let them know of this thread. They posted: > [@Venus2000Maker](#): > > Hello, > > We received a tip that our machine was being discussed on this thread. I would like to say the conversation has been very informative and considerate (for the most part). > > We have been manufacturing the Venus 2000 since 1998.(before that the unit was known as Venus II). During that time we have provided relief to many men who had trouble taking care of their own masturbation needs. > > The Venus 2000 unit is designed so each user can purchase a custom fit receiver to place over the penis. The system is "sealed’ so there is no chance of the system being contaminated as long as the receiver is intact. > > The Venus 2000 does NOT require and erection for use. > > We have many disabled clients. I never ask anyone’s level of disability so I am unsure of my quadriplegic client base. I do know of a few who have care givers who help with the set up , application, and cleaning of the system. The unit does have a remote control for on/off and stroke speed. It has a separate control for stroke length. It might be possible for a handy person to mount those for oral control. > > I realize the initial cost can be daunting. But you should realize this is not some cheaply made novelty. This is an American made product designed to last for YEARS. The original 1998 machines are still going strong. > > The only things that need upkeep are: > The receiver needs new liner if it develops a pinhole or tear , it is natural gum rubber. > INSIDE the unit if you use the unit quite often you may need to replace the diaphragm (it reminds me of a toilet plunger). This is NOT something that requires the unit returned to the factory. If you have someone with minor mechanical ability it is quite easy actually. > > That said, is there any other questions I can help answer? If you wish to ask via email… [abco@sybian.com](mailto:abco@sybian.com) > > My name is Karen ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/210 "2013-12-09T02:57:53Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > I am not a massage therapist but I’ve known a few, and they run away from anything that smells even remotely of sex. Legitimate massage therapists don’t give “happy endings”, don’t touch the crotch for any reason, and I’d think they’d be even less likely to attach a masturbation tool than a nurse would. Because in our society sex is such a scary thing. True, but the key word in your post is “Legitimate”, as standardly defined in the massage profession. It is a standard in the ethics of massage (and in the law in many places) that there can be no hint of sexuality allowed. But in the real world, there are massage practitioners and there are “massage practitioners”. There are certainly many masseuses and masseurs who do happy endings. They just aren’t, by definition, “legitimate”. So part of my question to **WhyNot** is therefore: Would you be willing to set up your patient with one of _those?_ ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/211 "2013-12-09T03:14:10Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > True, but the key word in your post is “Legitimate”, as standardly defined in the massage profession. It is a standard in the ethics of massage (and in the law in many places) that there can be no hint of sexuality allowed. > > But in the real world, there are massage practitioners and there are “massage practitioners”. There are certainly many masseuses and masseurs who do happy endings. They just aren’t, by definition, “legitimate”. > > So part of my question to **WhyNot** is therefore: Would you be willing to set up your patient with one of _those?_ Uh, no. I would not send an “illegitimate,” unlicensed, un-background-checked person of any profession to my patient’s home. What you’re describing is a prostitute, and I’ve already given my opinion on them. ---
**Author:** ![Munkypoop99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Munkypoop99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munkypoop99)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/212 "2013-12-09T18:50:23Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > **Munkypoop99** , sounds like _maybe_ you have a possibility here. You’re lucky to have even one friend who is still your friend. Do you feel able to discuss your needs with him? He may be your one remaining point of social contact with the rest of the outside world. Maybe, if he’s sympathetic, he can help set you up with someone. > > _Maybe_ , just _maybe_ there’s some female out there who has a bit more heart and friendliness in her soul, than some of the cold-hearted sex-hostile people who tell you that being horny for 6+ years is just too damn bad, boo-hoo, sucks to be you, etc. > > It’s already been remarked that yes, you have a limited pool of possible dates, and limited ways to even meet them in the first place. _Maybe_ , just _maybe_ your one remaining friend can help set you up with someone. _Maybe_ , just _maybe_ (can we just fantasize a little here?) there’s some female who’d even be willing, considering your case, to help you out with the occasional hand-job, even if nothing more. > > Ferchris[del]fucking[/del]sake, ladies, is a penis _that_ toxic gross radioactive that it’s _that_ disgusting gross revulsive to even touch one, to give this guy the occasional hand-job? Is the male body _that_ vile? Are males such gorgons that the very sight of the snake in the hair turns you to solid stone? > > **Munkypoop99** , ask your friend about this. If he’s really your friend, maybe he can ask around and help set you up. Find out who your real friends are. my friend is extremely shy. Your stereotypical gamer all he does is sit on the computer. He’s a nerd and a very hairy hippie. Before my accident I had to go with just so he could say hi to someone that he already knew it was ridiculous. So any help from him is definitely not a possibility ---
**Author:** ![Munkypoop99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Munkypoop99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munkypoop99)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/213 "2013-12-09T18:53:20Z")
> [@midnight\_rush](#): > > When I was 10 my spinal cord was severed at C1 C2 in a bad accident leaving me 100% paralyzed from the middle of my neck down. I’m almost 19 now and have very little sensation but can still get erections within seconds. I get very powerful urges for needing “sexual relief” and I can’t ever take care of them. At least 3 times a week I feel like I’ve been kicked in the nuts throughout the entire day. Apparently it’s illegal for caretakers to help with that where I live… There’s “autoblow” sex toys out there but they’re complete junk and definitely not worth the $150… So unless you’re lucky enough to have a girlfriend/wife, lots of money to pay a prostitute $200 every time you need it or live in Japan where they offer services for this exact situation then say hello to severe sexual frustration. After almost 9 years of this crap has gotten me to the point of wanting my testicles removed or to put a “hit” out on myself since I obviously can’t do it. The moral of the story is that the rest of your life will be constant torture along with frustration of extreme proportions and depression. Those all combined will literally make you lose your mind. > > This was completely written by ME with my Quadjoy and on screen keyboard so don’t even bother trolling me. I completely agree with you! I get the same feeling in my testicles like someone kicked them and I just want them gone. The frustration and pain just adds a lot more negative things we have to deal with on a daily basis. ---
**Author:** ![Munkypoop99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Munkypoop99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munkypoop99)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/214 "2013-12-09T18:58:14Z")
so I am paralyzed. So in order to empty my balls, LOL, I have to buy an electronic toy?? Well, electronic products mess up constantly! And so I have to kind of get fitted in a way for this. That’s just plain ridiculous. No matter what way you look at. There is early enough daily struggles that most people don’t even know of. And then add sexual frustration and the pain it causes is just insane and a horrible way to live. Personally I don’t care if people are against anyone of any kind helping someone like me for sexual needs. They are not in this situation so they could never, ever understand. You can try to imagine but you will not even be close, trust me. And I guarantee anyone against all of this would change their opinion in no time if they were put in this situation and couldn’t use anything below the shoulders. And you all know that’s the truth ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/215 "2013-12-09T19:55:19Z")
So, what is it that YOU want? There are a lot of people talking alternatives and proposing options… but no one here is an expert on you. So you tell us, if you’re willing… how would you solve this problem? ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/216 "2013-12-09T19:57:08Z")
> [@Munkypoop99](#): > > so I am paralyzed. So in order to empty my balls, LOL, I have to buy an electronic toy?? To be fair, it’s an electrically driven, air-powered toy, but a very effective one. As **Venus2000Maker** wrote, they have “many disabled customers”. I’ve chatted on IRC with some users of the product, and they all seemed very happy with their purchase. > [@](#): > > Well, electronic products mess up constantly! I’ve seen YouTube videos of the internals of the device, and it is made up of industrial strength components. It is manufactured in the US, and they seem to really support the product. If you want to try it, they’ll sell you the part that actually fits onto you for $35, but the rest of the machine is returnable for a refund, minus a restocking fee and shipping. As I mentioned, it’s the cost of five visits from a hooker (with the accompanying risks of that, both legal and personal), and professional sexual surrogates [are more expensive.](http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2012/12/18/sex-surrogate-cheryl-cohen-greene-68-hollywood-the-sessions/) > [@](#): > > And so I have to kind of get fitted in a way for this. That’s just plain ridiculous. As anyone who has watched porn knows, penises (peni?) come a variety of shapes and sizes. To provide the best experience, they need the user’s measurements. From their order form: > [@](#): > > Please check which category you fit into. > > A. You are able to get an erection and will be able to do so whenever you wish to use the Venus 2000. > > B. You do not get an erection easily and will probably start using the Venus 2000 in a flaccid or semi-erect state, but most likely will become erect with stimulation. > > C. You do not get an erection and probably will not while using Venus 2000. > > ``` > If A, give 1st set of measurements for the erect size only > If B, you need 2 sets of measurements. Please provide C4 for the flaccid state you expect to start in (1st set of measurements) and a full set, C1-C4 and L1, for the erect or near erect size you expect to reach (2nd set of measurements). Please note, if the circumference measurements are more than 3/4 inch difference, you may need to purchase a second Receiver. > If C, calculate your average circumference and enter it as C3 and also give your maximum expected length as L1 for 1st measurements. It is to your advantage to not exaggerate this measurement. The shorter we can make the Receiver, the less weight to support. > > ``` > > NOTE: To take circumference measurements, (C1 thru C4) use a ribbon or something soft and flexible to go around the penis and lay this out on a ruler. Please furnish all measurements in inches, accurate within 1/4 inch. > > 1st set of measurements 2nd set of measurements > C1 Around the head C2 > C2 Immediately behind the head C2 > C3 Half way down the shaft C3 > C4 One inch away from your body C4 > L1 Penis length taken from your top side, from your body to the tip of penis L1 Seems very reasonable. I’m tall and fat, and a lifetime of experience has taught me that “one size fits all” does not fit me. Vaginas are vastly more flexible and accommodating than any man-made device, so it makes a lot of sense to fit the device to the person. > [@](#): > > No matter what way you look at. There is early enough daily struggles that most people don’t even know of. And then add sexual frustration and the pain it causes is just insane and a horrible way to live. Personally I don’t care if people are against anyone of any kind helping someone like me for sexual needs. They are not in this situation so they could never, ever understand. You can try to imagine but you will not even be close, trust me. And I guarantee anyone against all of this would change their opinion in no time if they were put in this situation and couldn’t use anything below the shoulders. And you all know that’s the truth I know that none of us can truly understand what you’re going through, we can still empathize and try to help. We’ve all suffered “blue balls” at one time or another, and can’t even begin to extrapolate that experience into multiple years of suffering. It is possible that some empathetic woman (I assume you’re straight just because it’s statistically more likely) could be moved to visit your undisclosed location and give you a handy or a hummer, but it doesn’t seem likely. ---
**Author:** ![Munkypoop99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Munkypoop99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munkypoop99)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/217 "2013-12-09T22:11:12Z")
and my caregivers are my parents, sister, and my one male friend I mentioned earlier. Boy, that would be a fun experience( sarcasm ) under that list… #1 and I wasn’t exactly looking for things I know how crappy things are. I came into this conversation. After it was posted on one of the 1st pages. I didn’t start this post. Most of what I was saying was that it’s pretty easy for yous claim things are unethical and all this other crap until you walk a mile, not actually walk since it’s about paralysis, for just one freaking day and you would be all for people helping in any way shape or form! Also, the majority of disabled people whom this entire topic would fit is probably on disability income. I know from first-hand experience that you already can’t live on what you get. So you have no free money, EVER! After bills are paid your broke you need help from others just to pay all your bills. So how can you afford sex toys? You can’t ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/218 "2013-12-09T22:46:47Z")
> [@Munkypoop99](#): > > and my caregivers are my parents, sister, and my one male friend I mentioned earlier. Boy, that would be a fun experience( sarcasm ) under that list… #1 > and I wasn’t exactly looking for things I know how crappy things are. I came into this conversation. After it was posted on one of the 1st pages. I didn’t start this post. Most of what I was saying was that it’s pretty easy for yous claim things are unethical and all this other crap until you walk a mile, not actually walk since it’s about paralysis, for just one freaking day and you would be all for people helping in any way shape or form! Also, the majority of disabled people whom this entire topic would fit is probably on disability income. I know from first-hand experience that you already can’t live on what you get. So you have no free money, EVER! After bills are paid your broke you need help from others just to pay all your bills. So how can you afford sex toys? You can’t We know it’s crappy situation. If I were to try to imagine one that I would most desperately wish not to find myself in, it would be yours. Prisoners in solitary confinement can still jerk off, where you can’t. Again, without actually being in your position, we can’t truly understand, but we _can_ empathize - at least the male posters can. I love women, but I don’t think I’ve ever known one with a sex drive equivalent to a mans, or who truly understood just how much it rules our lives. But on the other hand, have you talked to your dad about hiring someone to deal with your needs? Fathers have been taking sons to whorehouses to be relieved of their virginity for centuries. Hiring one to measure your erection seems harmless enough. Or the job can be done by a urologist, who often artificially stimulate erections to judge penile health. I know the whole idea of talking to your dad about this is embarrassing, but he was a teenage boy at one time, and undoubtedly knows the pain and frustration you are in. He’s much less likely to be in denial than your mother, in my opinion. Of course, I have no idea what your parents are like, but on the other hand, I know that most of the teens and young adults I have known simply cannot conceive of their as parents as sexual beings. I never had any children, having figured out long ago that I was most suited as an uncle. But if I had a son, and knew he was in constant frustration and pain and depressed as well, I’d do whatever I could to relieve it. Shelling out money for a machine seems cheap and easy enough. It’s less than the cost of the used cars most parents buy their teenagers. The “Devotee” culture might provide someone, but the problem with that is: Do you want to be someone elses fetish object? And, from what I’ve seen, it’s mostly males looking for disabled females. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/219 "2013-12-10T08:11:42Z")
Also, **Munkypoop99** you could try a more indirect approach. Tell your one nerdy friend that you’d like to meet other people, just to expand your social contacts. You don’t have to say why. Maybe he’ll introduce you to some other buddy of his. Maybe THAT persons will be someone you can talk to about this. Maybe THAT person can introduce to a female who will be willing to help you out here. Or he could introduce to yet another guy that you could talk to. At some point, some guy you meet could introduce you to (gasp!) a friendly FEMALE. The point is, you can ask around. And here’s another question: As desperate as you are, do you require that only a FEMALE can, uh, “help you out”? Would you tolerate having a MALE do the job for you? If yes, the you might actually have a better chance of meeting someone who will take care of you. And **midnight rush** are you still reading here? Any of these suggestions in this thread sound useful to you? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/220 "2013-12-10T11:30:53Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > The “Devotee” culture might provide someone, but the problem with that is: Do you want to be someone elses fetish object? And, from what I’ve seen, it’s mostly males looking for disabled females. On the other hand, there may be a benefit to a situation where each party is seeking and getting something very specific. If the goal is physical relief an emotional relationship may not be required. On the other hand, an emotional relationship is usually seen as more satisfying in the long run. ---
**Author:** ![Munkypoop99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Munkypoop99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munkypoop99)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/221 "2013-12-10T18:48:12Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > We know it’s crappy situation. If I were to try to imagine one that I would most desperately wish not to find myself in, it would be yours. Prisoners in solitary confinement can still jerk off, where you can’t. Again, without actually being in your position, we can’t truly understand, but we _can_ empathize - at least the male posters can. I love women, but I don’t think I’ve ever known one with a sex drive equivalent to a mans, or who truly understood just how much it rules our lives. > > But on the other hand, have you talked to your dad about hiring someone to deal with your needs? Fathers have been taking sons to whorehouses to be relieved of their virginity for centuries. Hiring one to measure your erection seems harmless enough. Or the job can be done by a urologist, who often artificially stimulate erections to judge penile health. > > I know the whole idea of talking to your dad about this is embarrassing, but he was a teenage boy at one time, and undoubtedly knows the pain and frustration you are in. He’s much less likely to be in denial than your mother, in my opinion. Of course, I have no idea what your parents are like, but on the other hand, I know that most of the teens and young adults I have known simply cannot conceive of their as parents as sexual beings. > > I never had any children, having figured out long ago that I was most suited as an uncle. But if I had a son, and knew he was in constant frustration and pain and depressed as well, I’d do whatever I could to relieve it. Shelling out money for a machine seems cheap and easy enough. It’s less than the cost of the used cars most parents buy their teenagers. > > The “Devotee” culture might provide someone, but the problem with that is: Do you want to be someone elses fetish object? And, from what I’ve seen, it’s mostly males looking for disabled females. actually I have no problem talking to anyone about anything, including family. I am one of those kind of people that you never know what is going to come out of my mouth, and usually it’s perverted. LOL I don’t get embarrassed I embarrass people. LOL . And I have discussed this with both parents. It is not like we can just open the phone book and call someone. Hell, I’ve only seen a prostitute myself once in my life. Around here, it’s not a great idea. Not at all!! And actually, I have dated a few women in my life that tried to wear me out constantly. So I don’t think sex drives really matter on gender it’s the person. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572.md?page=12)