# Do nurses or doctors ever have to masturbate disabled or paralyzed people? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 13, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572 "2012-09-13T03:45:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Munkypoop99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Munkypoop99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munkypoop99)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/82 "2013-11-23T00:56:32Z")
I am 30 years old, male, and paralyzed from the shoulders down. I have been since I was 23. And let me tell you, I go crazy feeling horny and being hard all the time, but can’t get anyone to help me out even when the doctor told me I should. As far as I know there are no caregivers/doctors/nurses that do this. Otherwise I would definitely sign up. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/83 "2013-11-23T01:26:24Z")
> [@Reply](#): > > I understand that when people can’t (for whatever reason) take care of themselves, their caretakers have to feed them, bathe them, change them, wipe their butts, etc. In the case of professional caretakers, are they either legally obliged or prevented from taking care of their clients’ sexual needs? > > I’m going to guess not, but does that mean that clients who aren’t otherwise intimate with someone would go years… or perhaps the rest of their lives… without any sexual release? I’ve heard that a lot of this goes on in spinal cord rehab units, but I just couldn’t imagine any nurse (or doctor) putting his or her license on the line. A more reliable source gave this anecdote: A quadriplegic who had a private room in a nursing home had a DVD player that he couldn’t operate himself, and his DVD collection did include a few porno discs, and whenever he requested one, the nurse or other employee would put it into the machine and close the door. He could hit the buzzer when he wanted someone to come back. Some people on the floor were uncomfortable with the idea of doing this, but others weren’t so they did it. One of the main characters in the recent foreign film “The Intouchables” is a quadriplegic who gets off from having his ears stimulated. Whatever it takes, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/84 "2013-11-23T01:30:30Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I’m not entirely sure how/when would use one with a man, but they use condoms over the transvaginal ultrasound wand for women. Keeps it clean, provides a little lube… > > So there’s at least one legitimate medical use for condoms that isn’t sexually related. Or it’s possible your grandfather had a girlfriend in the nursing home. It happens. Just because they’re old doesn’t mean they’ve stopped boinking. > > And that \*is \*a topic that’s getting a lot of discussion in nursing journals in the last few years – should we be providing private spaces in nursing homes for residents who want to have sex? What if grandma’s in the nursing home and grandpa comes to visit? What if people meet and fall in love in the nursing home? What if their (adult) children are profoundly uncomfortable with their aging parent(s) sexuality? How do we respect the privacy and sexual needs of consenting adults while preventing abuse? > > I don’t claim to have answers, but I think those are interesting, non-prurient questions. > > ETA: OH! Wait a sec…are you sure it was a condom and not a [condom catheter](http://www.shopcatheters.com/p-178-coloplast-freedom-clear-long-seal-silicone-self-adhering-male-external-condom-catheter.html)? Would your 12 year old self have known the difference? Not long after Viagra’s launch, I did some relief work at a pharmacy that serviced nursing homes, and they had some on the shelf. This was before it was commonly used for non-sexual purposes, and my reaction was “Get out of here!” One of the technicians said that there was a patient at one of the homes whose insurance paid for 5 doses a month, and he would go out on passes with his wife and the nurse would give him one beforehand if he requested it. They didn’t have all that much time to spend together; why not enjoy it as much as they could? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/85 "2013-11-23T01:33:22Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > Fair enough, but likewise with my prostate check, should I be able to request a younger than 30, blonde, female doctor, with larger knockers, who will stroke me while she checks my prostate? > > Even from a medical angle, it would be beneficial. Instead of yearly, I would go daily. Hell I’d even stop by on lunch. I would have the healthiest prostate in the freaking world. 🙂 When my doctor was younger, several women told me that they wouldn’t mind having him do their pelvic and breast exams. :rolleyes: He’s in his mid 50s now and is still quite handsome; I’ve had it done by nerdy guys too, and trust me, it’s not any different when he does it. ---
**Author:** ![Munkypoop99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Munkypoop99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munkypoop99)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/86 "2013-11-23T01:44:59Z")
> [@Reply](#): > > The ponderings here have been amusing 🙂 > > But truly, I am still wondering about the medical necessity of this and its treatment. Surely patients can’t just be expected to go without sexual release for the rest of their existence. Are they really just expected to call a hooker or a “sex surrogate” (still not sure what that is)? in my situation, being paralyzed from the shoulders down 30 years old male… It really sucks. I’ve gone 6 1/2 years without release and it drives you nuts, and it is painful. I wish nurses or doctors or my home nurse could do it. I don’t want hookers or anything like that. When it beat medical necessary or not it’s helping someone do something everyone does and loves but can’t do it themselves. Like everyone else can. And you get the feeling of being really horny, but can’t fix it, and it really does start hurting the longer it goes. There’s nothing I can do to fix it myself or I would. Everyone who is able to do it, does it… I miss that I really wish I could do it. Since I can’t wish that someone would do it for me with it be sexually or not… It is needed ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/87 "2013-11-23T02:03:30Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Not long after Viagra’s launch, **I did some relief work** at a pharmacy that serviced nursing homes, and they had some [condoms] on the shelf. Well, there’s the answer to the OP’s original question! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/88 "2013-11-23T02:17:59Z")
> [@Munkypoop99](#): > > in my situation, being paralyzed from the shoulders down 30 years old male… It really sucks. I’ve gone 6 1/2 years without release and it drives you nuts, and it is painful. I wish nurses or doctors or my home nurse could do it. I don’t want hookers or anything like that. When it beat medical necessary or not it’s helping someone do something everyone does and loves but can’t do it themselves. Like everyone else can. And you get the feeling of being really horny, but can’t fix it, and it really does start hurting the longer it goes. There’s nothing I can do to fix it myself or I would. Everyone who is able to do it, does it… I miss that I really wish I could do it. Since I can’t wish that someone would do it for me with it be sexually or not… It is needed Hey, is this the same “Munkypoop” that’s on “Apparlyzed” too? ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/89 "2013-11-23T02:20:24Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I’ve heard that a lot of this goes on in spinal cord rehab units, I wonder if anyone who is a medical professional working in one of those units can verify that this goes on “a lot.” Anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/90 "2013-11-23T02:35:19Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > I wonder if anyone who is a medical professional working in one of those units can verify that this goes on “a lot.” Anyone? It certainly was never offered to me when I was in my spinal cord injury rehabilitation hospital. This strikes me as absurd. But I stop short of declaring it totally false, because I simply don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_York](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f6c823/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_York](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_York)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/91 "2013-11-23T03:04:50Z")
if you are in a public hospital it’s a hand job. If you have really good health cover, it’s a blow job ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/92 "2013-11-23T03:59:47Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Well, there’s the answer to the OP’s original question! 😛 Hadn’t realized what I was saying! 😛 Usually, when I use the phrase “relief work”, people interpret it this way: that I went to a disaster area. No, I was just working as a substitute pharmacist. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/93 "2013-11-23T04:03:28Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > I wonder if anyone who is a medical professional working in one of those units can verify that this goes on “a lot.” Anyone? The late cartoonist Callahan, who became a quadriplegic as a young adult, claimed that he never got so many BJs as he did when he was in rehab, and in the documentary “Murderball”, which came out about 10 years ago, there are multiple claims by the interviewees that this took place. I was skeptical and inquired about this on a nursing board I sometimes post on (non-nurses are welcome) and every one of them said, in so many words, “No way! I worked too hard for that license, and most of those guys were unappealing to me for other reasons”, the main one being that the accidents which made them disabled were usually the result of drug and alcohol addiction, and they weren’t exactly the cream of the crop of the gene pool. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/94 "2013-11-23T04:04:40Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > It certainly was never offered to me when I was in my spinal cord injury rehabilitation hospital. This strikes me as absurd. But I stop short of declaring it totally false, because I simply don’t know. But you’re a woman, aren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/95 "2013-11-23T05:54:43Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > But you’re a woman, aren’t you? Umm, nope. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/96 "2013-11-23T06:00:27Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > The late cartoonist Callahan, who became a quadriplegic as a young adult, claimed that he never got so many BJs as he did when he was in rehab, and in the documentary “Murderball”, which came out about 10 years ago, there are multiple claims by the interviewees that this took place. I was skeptical and inquired about this on a nursing board I sometimes post on (non-nurses are welcome) and every one of them said, in so many words, “No way! I worked too hard for that license, and most of those guys were unappealing to me for other reasons”, the main one being that the accidents which made them disabled were usually the result of drug and alcohol addiction, and they weren’t exactly the cream of the crop of the gene pool. Again, I’d be interested if there are any MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS ON THIS BOARD (not cartoonists or interviewees) could verify your original claim that “a lot of this goes on in spinal cord rehab units.” Of course, your cartoonist, having become a quadriplegic as a young adult, would be expected to get more blow jobs as he aged than he’d had as a child. Anyone else here seen “Murderball?” > [@nearwildheaven](#): > > But you’re a woman, aren’t you? You should read some of **Ambivalid** ’s posts about his experiences. You might find them interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Munkypoop99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Munkypoop99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munkypoop99)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/97 "2013-11-24T00:58:16Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > I wonder if anyone who is a medical professional working in one of those units can verify that this goes on “a lot.” Anyone? well, since I have spinal cord injury and lived in one for quite a bit of months and never once saw or heard anything I would have to say no ---
**Author:** ![Munkypoop99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Munkypoop99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munkypoop99)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/98 "2013-11-24T00:59:48Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Hey, is this the same “Munkypoop” that’s on “Apparlyzed” too? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/99 "2013-11-24T01:15:34Z")
> [@Munkypoop99](#): > > 😉 I thought so. I mean, it’s not like there’s too many people going by “Munkypoop” who are also quadriplegic out there. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DataX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@DataX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DataX)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/100 "2013-11-24T01:58:44Z")
> [@Munkypoop99](#): > > in my situation, being paralyzed from the shoulders down 30 years old male… It really sucks. I’ve gone 6 1/2 years without release and it drives you nuts, and it is painful. I wish nurses or doctors or my home nurse could do it. I don’t want hookers or anything like that. When it beat medical necessary or not it’s helping someone do something everyone does and loves but can’t do it themselves. Like everyone else can. And you get the feeling of being really horny, but can’t fix it, and it really does start hurting the longer it goes. There’s nothing I can do to fix it myself or I would. Everyone who is able to do it, does it… I miss that I really wish I could do it. Since I can’t wish that someone would do it for me with it be sexually or not… It is needed Jesus - 6 1/2 years? Do you really plan on possibly going your whole life cause of some issue with hookers? How is having your home nurse do it (for money) any different than a hooker? The only one standing in your way is you (and possibly your pocket book). I’m assuming you mean everything works (I don’t know much about being paralyzed, but had thought shoulders down meant you couldn’t - but admit I know nothing in that area) . I’m assuming I’m wrong since you wish your home nurse could. You could probably even find someone willing to give you a lap dance which if it’s been 6 1\2 years would probably get the job done just fine - if that would make you feel better about the moral issue. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/101 "2013-11-24T01:58:49Z")
> [@Munkypoop99](#): > > in my situation, being paralyzed from the shoulders down 30 years old male… It really sucks. I’ve gone 6 1/2 years without release and it drives you nuts, and it is painful. I wish nurses or doctors or my home nurse could do it. I don’t want hookers or anything like that. When it beat medical necessary or not it’s helping someone do something everyone does and loves but can’t do it themselves. Like everyone else can. And you get the feeling of being really horny, but can’t fix it, and it really does start hurting the longer it goes. There’s nothing I can do to fix it myself or I would. Everyone who is able to do it, does it… I miss that I really wish I could do it. Since I can’t wish that someone would do it for me with it be sexually or not… It is needed Yes another shitty thing about being a quadraplegic. I wouldn’t have thought you guys could feel pain because of that. And colour me non surprised that nobody would want to touch this issue with a ten feet pole. Yet another exemple of the consequences of sexual hang-ups in our societies sucking big time. :rolleyes:☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572.md?page=6)