# Do nurses or doctors ever have to masturbate disabled or paralyzed people? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 13, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572 "2012-09-13T03:45:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/142 "2013-11-26T02:08:51Z")
> [@Munkypoop99](#): > > I don’t know. Haven’t been able to try, obviously. erections and intense feeling of being “in that mode” LOL Sorry, missed the edit window. Are you saying that “erections and feelings of being in ‘that mode’” are what _you know of_ as far as being sexually able? ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/143 "2013-11-26T09:10:03Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > The problem is that society takes steps to _prevent_ people from having sex. For instance by making prostitution a crime. Or by making inconvenient, limiting or even banning “spousal” visits or intimacy in care institutions. > > And in any case, nothing is done to _facilitate_ the procurement of sex. I’m pretty sure you could find plenty of charities that would help as much as they could a disabled individual in many way, up to climbing the Everest or somesuch. I doubt you’d find even one willing to help searching for a reliable prostitute. > > And yes, I find this shocking. People shouldn’t be left in the cold just because others have hang ups regarding sexuality. I completely agree that it would be great if charities were accommodating. The organisation I used to work with was in touch with prostitutes for their clients with various disabilities. There was also a poster who linked to an organisation that does that, so it definitely exists. Obviously not as nurses giving handjobs, but as organisations facilitating it absolutely happens. It just strikes me as a little absurd to hear the tone in this thread of “what, I’m just supposed to not have sex??!!11one1!” As if society owes people sex. That’s not the case, nobody should be forced to deal with another persons sexual needs. If there is someone who just likes to have sex with you that’s great, if someone will do it for money also great and if a charity wants to help people then props to them. But this isn’t an obligation and nobody is owed sex. I just want to have it clear, because the idea that society owes people sex is a pervasive one and very dangerous. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/144 "2013-11-26T20:21:09Z")
Wait, society owes us sex? Where’s my sex? Come on society, bring it here. I’m waiting. I don’t think society _owes_ anyone sex with another person. I think the frustration is that there are folks that cannot take care of it themselves. When masturbation isn’t an option, it makes things a lot less pleasant. Seems a lot for people to be completely cut off from. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/145 "2013-11-26T20:49:54Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > I just want to have it clear, because the idea that society owes people sex is a pervasive one and very dangerous. Just how do you see this idea as **“very dangerous”**? ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/146 "2013-11-26T21:44:12Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > Just how do you see this idea as **“very dangerous”**? I take it to mean that ppl think they can rape, harass and bully others into having sex, if they believe it to be some sort of God give right. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/147 "2013-11-26T22:08:22Z")
Data point: I also am in a wheelchair. Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. I have not had an erection since 2005. I still have one or two femele friends who _might_ help me out (if I begged) but I wouldn’t have any ability to function. And yes, social life does indeed suck. The rare times I mix with people is when they visit me at my house. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/148 "2013-11-26T23:52:08Z")
> [@Munkypoop99](#): > > most caregivers are family members or **my one friend who stayed after my injury, a guy**. I have looked into relationships and don’t think it would be fair to someone else because they would pretty much be a caregiver not a significant other with all the work needed on a daily, or even hourly, routines [. . .] **Munkypoop99** , sounds like _maybe_ you have a possibility here. You’re lucky to have even one friend who is still your friend. Do you feel able to discuss your needs with him? He may be your one remaining point of social contact with the rest of the outside world. Maybe, if he’s sympathetic, he can help set you up with someone. _Maybe_ , just _maybe_ there’s some female out there who has a bit more heart and friendliness in her soul, than some of the cold-hearted sex-hostile people who tell you that being horny for 6+ years is just too damn bad, boo-hoo, sucks to be you, etc. It’s already been remarked that yes, you have a limited pool of possible dates, and limited ways to even meet them in the first place. _Maybe_ , just _maybe_ your one remaining friend can help set you up with someone. _Maybe_ , just _maybe_ (can we just fantasize a little here?) there’s some female who’d even be willing, considering your case, to help you out with the occasional hand-job, even if nothing more. Ferchris[del]fucking[/del]sake, ladies, is a penis _that_ toxic gross radioactive that it’s _that_ disgusting gross revulsive to even touch one, to give this guy the occasional hand-job? Is the male body _that_ vile? Are males such gorgons that the very sight of the snake in the hair turns you to solid stone? **Munkypoop99** , ask your friend about this. If he’s really your friend, maybe he can ask around and help set you up. Find out who your real friends are. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/149 "2013-11-27T00:04:32Z")
> [@SerafinaPekala](#): > > I take it to mean that ppl think they can rape, harass and bully others into having sex, if they believe it to be some sort of God give right. Our OP here, and anyone else similarly situation, has, uh, “special needs” wouldn’t you agree? Yes, it’s standard advice to tell the sex-starved, usually in hostile tones, that they can damn well sit home alone and jerk off. Here, we have a guy who can’t even do that. How is this guy, or anyone else similarly situated, going to go about raping, harassing, and bullying anybody? ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/150 "2013-11-27T00:11:02Z")
**CORRECTION** (Missed edit window.) Okay, upon review, I see that it’s not our OP here who’s been saving up for 6+ years, but a more recent member here. Please consider my above post(s) to be revised accordingly, but my basic points still remain. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/151 "2013-11-27T00:20:03Z")
Abco Research Associates manufactures masturbation machines for both men and women. The Sybian, is the more popular of the two. The woman straddles the main unit, operated the remote, and it provides both vibration and internal G-Spot stimulation (not to say that a male user couldn’t use it anally for prostate stimulation). It has received a lot of attention due to famous owners like the Howard Stern Show (though they use it wrong, without the part to go inside and provide G-Spot stimulation). Their product for men is the [Venus 2000](https://www.sybian.com/venus/). There is a main box, a control unit and a “receiver” that fits onto a lubricated penis. It strokes back and forth at variable speed. The receivers are custom made for each users length and diameter, and the unit can be used to achieve orgasm even if an erection is not possible. In use, it looks a lot like a milking machine. From their web site: > [@](#): > > The Venus 2000 has a gearmotor that drives a reciprocating diaphragm. Air moves to and from the outer chamber of the Receiver by a connecting hose. The amount of air in the system, or lack of it, is adjustable and determines the stroke length. Most guys can adjust it to move the full length of their shaft. To use it, you simply put some lubricant in the Receiver and place the head of your penis to the opening. When you turn the Venus 2000 on it will suck you in. It has the velvety feel of a well lubricated partner. Venus can be set to a soft and sensual 8 strokes per minute, or you can crank it up to a ball shaking 300 strokes per minute. (All direct links are safe for work. There are explicit videos of the units in use, but there is an age verification step.) So, how would the care professionals posting here feel about placing this unit on the penis of a patient? It would require no more contact than putting on a condom catheter. I don’t know if the controls are available for operation via accessibility systems, so the user might need an assistant to operate the controls. But this a a small company, and they seem open to user feedback and customization. It’s been a number of years since I last visited their site, and previously they offered discounted units to disabled veterans. They have a 45 day satisfaction guarantee for the main unit - obviously the receiver cannot be returned. I first learned about this via an article in The Reader, but the gutless wonder of a writer never actually tried the unit, which would have meant that he supply his measurements to Abco to get his fitted receiver. Obviously, like almost all of us, someone like **Munkypoop99** would prefer human sexual contact, but if that’s not an option this could at the very least get him off. Check out [the testimonials on their web site](https://www.sybian.com/venus/testimonials.html). ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/152 "2013-11-27T00:27:14Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Abco Research Associates manufactures masturbation machines for both men and women. _There once was a man of Racine Who invented a sexing machine. Both concave and convex, It could serve either sex While amusing itself in between._ ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/153 "2013-11-27T00:29:45Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > _There once was a man of Racine > Who invented a sexing machine. > Both concave and convex, > It could serve either sex > While amusing itself in between._ Tragically, they are not located in Racine, but in Monticello, IL. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/154 "2013-11-27T01:02:44Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > Data point: > > I also am in a wheelchair. Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. I have not had an erection since 2005. Have you tried medication such as Cialis or Viagra to treat this erectile dysfunction with no luck? I ask because while it may seem like an obvious question to someone who hasn’t had an erection in 8 years, I am constantly amazed at the number of guys who lament _for years and years_ about the inability to achieve erection anymore after a spinal cord injury or other complication, yet have never taken the step of trying ED medications. ETA: And medications are only the first step; there are several other, more involved methods for achieving erection in men with severe ED. One simply needs to be motivated. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/155 "2013-11-27T01:24:02Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > So, how would the care professionals posting here feel about placing this unit on the penis of a patient? I would - pending a discussion with a lawyer to make sure it would not put me on the wrong side of any prostitution laws, guidelines of my state’s nursing practice act and/or similar legal or licensing issues - not have a problem with it. But I think it a new and innovative enough conversation that I would also defend the right of a nurse to refuse to do it. I would, however, have to have a doctor’s order to do it. I need a doctor’s order to put on a band aid (or a condom catheter, for that matter.) It would not fall under the generally accepted scope of nursing practice, or covered under standing orders; it would be viewed (I think, again, check with lawyer) as a medical procedure requiring an explicit order for (I shit you not) duration, frequency and, uh, method of administration. A prescription, really. And to be honest with you, that would make me more okay with it. Having an order, that is. It keeps everything on the up and up and documented and open and transparent. It keeps it clinical in my practice and in my head, and not personal. It would be the difference, say, between removing impacted feces from the colon with my gloved finger and digital-anal sex. Arbitrary, sure, but we talking monkeys are like that sometimes. Really, again, I’d suggest a sex surrogate. They’d be much better at this than I am, just as a phlebotomist is better at drawing blood. Could I do it? Sure…but not as well as someone who has more training in it and does it for a living, all day, every day. Not just because I lack the experience in the technical aspects, but because I haven’t been trained in the psychological or emotional aspects of the work. A phlebotomist, for example, knows what to say and not to say while she’s jamming steel into your arm, while I’m more apt to be all, “holy crap, that’s a lot of blood!” I might take the sample acceptably for the lab, but I wouldn’t put you at the best ease while I do it. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/156 "2013-11-27T01:36:15Z")
In Japan, yes: [White Hands](http://www.whitehands.jp/e.html). ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/157 "2013-11-27T01:51:31Z")
> [@Munkypoop99](#): > > okay, so can you honestly tell me that someone in a wheelchair, unable to move anything, who usually has someone with them all the time for medical reasons or whatever it may be, comes up to you in a bar… You’ll give your number? It’s pretty much impossible to meet people, let alone date someone. Think of that image, but dating instead. So you become disabled and cannot move your body, one of the many side effects is your future. Not just your future of movement, but of relationships in any kind. And humans need a lot emotional and physical to be happy and for health reasons and for other reasons. So because you are paralyzed, you have to give up sex and everything or have to pay money(, which in most cases you are on disability and are already having hard times paying your bills with that already ) to have sex illegally with a prostitute. Or if you are in a nursing home and don’t have all those bills are they really going to let you bring in prostitutes? If you couldn’t have sex or masturbate because you couldn’t use your arms you would feel differently, and want something done about it I think [this essay](http://www.peterblundy.com/2012/01/reasons-why-you-want-to-be-me-quadriplegic-sex-and-support/) captures the perspective of many quadriplegics quite well. It’s worth reading. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/158 "2013-11-27T02:35:06Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I would - pending a discussion with a lawyer to make sure it would not put me on the wrong side of any prostitution laws, guidelines of my state’s nursing practice act and/or similar legal or licensing issues - not have a problem with it. But I think it a new and innovative enough conversation that I would also defend the right of a nurse to refuse to do it. > > I would, however, have to have a doctor’s order to do it. I need a doctor’s order to put on a band aid (or a condom catheter, for that matter.) It would not fall under the generally accepted scope of nursing practice, or covered under standing orders; it would be viewed (I think, again, check with lawyer) as a medical procedure requiring an explicit order for (I shit you not) duration, frequency and, uh, method of administration. A prescription, really. The problem would be that the Venus 2000 would have to be certified as medical equipment, wouldn’t it? In order to be prescribed? > [@](#): > > And to be honest with you, that would make me more okay with it. Having an order, that is. It keeps everything on the up and up and documented and open and transparent. It keeps it clinical in my practice and in my head, and not personal. It would be the difference, say, between removing impacted feces from the colon with my gloved finger and digital-anal sex. Arbitrary, sure, but we talking monkeys are like that sometimes. OK. > [@](#): > > Really, again, I’d suggest a sex surrogate. They’d be much better at this than I am, just as a phlebotomist is better at drawing blood. Could I do it? Sure…but not as well as someone who has more training in it and does it for a living, all day, every day. Not just because I lack the experience in the technical aspects, but because I haven’t been trained in the psychological or emotional aspects of the work. A phlebotomist, for example, knows what to say and not to say while she’s jamming steel into your arm, while I’m more apt to be all, “holy crap, that’s a lot of blood!” I might take the sample acceptably for the lab, but I wouldn’t put you at the best ease while I do it. The device is nearly $1000, but I don’t imagine a few visits from a sex surrogate is going to be a lot cheaper. I mean, I’m 53, and while I’m not jerking off like I did when I was 13, I still feel the need to every day or two. I can’t even _imagine_ going **years** without. I would imagine the folks at Abco would offer an excellent deal on one to a paraplegic for the value of the testimonial. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/159 "2013-11-27T02:42:31Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Our OP here, and anyone else similarly situation, has, uh, “special needs” wouldn’t you agree? Yes, it’s standard advice to tell the sex-starved, usually in hostile tones, that they can damn well sit home alone and jerk off. > > Here, we have a guy who can’t even do that. How is this guy, or anyone else similarly situated, going to go about raping, harassing, and bullying anybody? Gracer’s statement was in regard to society at large. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/160 "2013-11-27T03:20:36Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > [@gaffa](#): > > The problem would be that the Venus 2000 would have to be certified as medical equipment, wouldn’t it? In order to be prescribed? I don’t believe so, no. I’ve received orders for “warm soapy water soak R foot 20 mins daily” and “ambulate 100 feet with assist each visit” and other things that are actions, not devices. Now for insurance to pay for the _device_, it would probably have to be approved as a medical device, yes. What it would require, for most doctors to write an order for me be allowed to use it (which is a separate issue from insurance paying for the device itself), is that they’d have to have some evidence based research that it’s beneficial to the patient to ejaculate and that no other better options exist to achieve that goal. That’s a lower bar than “medically necessary,” which would probably be required for insurance reimbursement, but it’s still an expensive bar to cross. If they don’t care to pass either of those bars, then it’s not a medical device, and there’s no medical benefit, and we’re back to: “not in my job description.” Would I give a disabled \*friend \*a handy? Sure would, assuming my husband gave me the go-ahead. But I’m not friends with my patients, much as I care for them. For me to do something like that with my patients, it would have to be a \*professionally \*appropriate thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/161 "2013-11-27T03:53:10Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > In Japan, yes: [White Hands](http://www.whitehands.jp/e.html). Thanks for posting that. It was a very moving documentary. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572.md?page=9)