# Do nurses or doctors ever have to masturbate disabled or paralyzed people? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 13, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572 "2012-09-13T03:45:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/162 "2013-11-27T04:04:25Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I don’t believe so, no. I’ve received orders for “warm soapy water soak R foot 20 mins daily” and “ambulate 100 feet with assist each visit” and other things that are actions, not devices. Now for insurance to pay for the _device_, it would probably have to be approved as a medical device, yes. > > What it would require, for most doctors to write an order for me be allowed to use it (which is a separate issue from insurance paying for the device itself), is that they’d have to have some evidence based research that it’s beneficial to the patient to ejaculate and that no other better options exist to achieve that goal. That’s a lower bar than “medically necessary,” which would probably be required for insurance reimbursement, but it’s still an expensive bar to cross. OK. I do recommend watching the “White Hands” video **Muffin** posted. The caregiver in the film visits a client with (I believe) CP. The service performed is done with professionalism and care. From their web site, they charge $35 for a 15 minute visit. If one were to start a service like White Hands in the US, either manually or with a Venus 2000, do you think it would be accepted? The expensive part is the pumping mechanism - the “receivers” are only $35 each. So a service could carry the unit around from patient to patient, each of whom would have their own receiver. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/163 "2013-11-27T04:14:39Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > OK. I do recommend watching the “White Hands” video **Muffin** posted. The caregiver in the film visits a client with (I believe) CP. The service performed is done with professionalism and care. From their web site, they charge $35 for a 15 minute visit. It really does look like a wonderful program. I especially like their FAQ response to questions about female clients. > [@](#): > > If one were to start a service like White Hands in the US, either manually or with a Venus 2000, do you think it would be accepted? No idea. Not long ago, I would have told you that sex surrogates would be arrested for prostitution, and then that movie with Helen Hunt came out and revealed my ignorance on the issue. Since White Hands seems much like a sex surrogate service, I think you’d be best served by looking to them for guidance. > [@](#): > > The expensive part is the pumping mechanism - the “receivers” are only $35 each. So a service could carry the unit around from patient to patient, each of whom would have their own receiver. Maybe, maybe not. Depends how the unit works and if they’re considered multi-user, from an infection control standpoint. For reference, only some breast pumps are appropriate to be leased to more than one user (with new tubing) while others are single user only, even if you were to replace all the tubing and pieces that come into contact with the body. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/164 "2013-11-27T04:27:11Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Maybe, maybe not. Depends how the unit works and if they’re considered multi-user, from an infection control standpoint. For reference, only some breast pumps are appropriate to be leased to more than one user (with new tubing) while others are single user only, even if you were to replace all the tubing and pieces that come into contact with the body. The only connection between the mechanical unit and the receiver is an air hose and there is no way for any body fluids to enter the hose or the air pump mechanism. It’s not a “penis pump” and does not provide any direct suction at all. The suction is only on the air sealed between the rigid outer wall of the receiver and the liner of the receiver that slides back and forth. There are several different styles of receiver - a closed-end style for those who are unable to produce an erection that produces a sort of pump suction, an open end style for those who have no problem maintaining an erection, and a short ring model used to massage the head of the penis and that can also be used for nipple stimulation. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/165 "2013-11-27T08:26:57Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Our OP here, and anyone else similarly situation, has, uh, “special needs” wouldn’t you agree? Yes, it’s standard advice to tell the sex-starved, usually in hostile tones, that they can damn well sit home alone and jerk off. > > Here, we have a guy who can’t even do that. How is this guy, or anyone else similarly situated, going to go about raping, harassing, and bullying anybody? > [@SerafinaPekala](#): > > Gracer’s statement was in regard to society at large. Exactly. If you don’t understand why perpetuating the idea that people are entitled to sex is dangerous, perhaps start a new thread in IMHO so it can be explained without hijacking this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Quatro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc8723/32.png) [@Mr\_Quatro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Quatro)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/166 "2013-11-27T11:51:31Z")
I haven’t been to the VA hospital in three years, but when I was there for a simple eye operation I heard through the grape vine that sex was available to the patients. Pricing was to be discussed in private. The disturbing part was that it was, well you know, the choice was for uh, male or female for mostly a male audience to chose from. but who could blame these men with no legs or arms that have served their country and been handicapped for doing so? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/167 "2013-11-27T12:28:17Z")
> [@Mr\_Quatro](#): > > The disturbing part was that it was, well you know, the choice was for uh, male or female for mostly a male audience to chose from. Why is the notion that there are disabled homosexual veterans disturbing to you? ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/168 "2013-11-27T19:47:12Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > If you don’t understand why perpetuating the idea that people are entitled to sex is dangerous, perhaps start a new thread in IMHO so it can be explained without hijacking this thread. There are a lot of editors at Vogue, Elle, and Cosmo that promote the idea that not only is sex something people are entitled to, but damn good sex at that. I know that’s not what you’re talking about, but this thread isn’t about what you’re talking about. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/169 "2013-11-27T20:03:22Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > There are a lot of editors at Vogue, Elle, and Cosmo that promote the idea that not only is sex something people are entitled to, but damn good sex at that. > > I know that’s not what you’re talking about, but this thread isn’t about what you’re talking about. I agree! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Artemis\_Tardis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@Artemis\_Tardis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Artemis_Tardis)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/170 "2013-11-27T20:09:58Z")
I didn’t read the whole thread, but my answer is yes. At least in Japan: https://www.youtube.com/embed/HErf4OELzYk?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque&list=PLyheH-sHmeaPTgP5GaWCNxntiFdHWWqzq I find this reallyl… obvious. People have sexual needs. I have read that sometimes older men with down syndrome have prostitutes hired for them to provide some relief. And from what I have read they are WILD. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/171 "2013-11-27T21:47:19Z")
> [@demian\_travis](#): > > I didn’t read the whole thread, but my answer is yes. At least in Japan: > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HErf4OELzYk&list=PLyheH-sHmeaPTgP5GaWCNxntiFdHWWqzq&index=1](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HErf4OELzYk&list=PLyheH-sHmeaPTgP5GaWCNxntiFdHWWqzq&index=1) > I find this reallyl… obvious. People have sexual needs. I have read that sometimes older men with down syndrome have prostitutes hired for them to provide some relief. And from what I have read they are WILD. **Muffin** [posted it at #153](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16882187&postcount=153). The woman in the video is assisting a man with CP, who appears to have no ability to use his hands. I found the video very moving, and if I were to be in that situation, I would hope that someone could perform that service for me. Physically and developmentally disabled adults are **adults**. And while nobody has a _right_ to sex, they shouldn’t be prevented from having sex due to other people’s squeamishness. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/172 "2013-11-27T22:11:49Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Physically and developmentally disabled adults are **adults**. And while nobody has a _right_ to sex, they shouldn’t be prevented from having sex due to other people’s squeamishness. I would amend that slightly to say that they shouldn’t be prevented from having sex with willing people due to their caregivers’, families’ and legislators’ squeamishness and actions to prevent them from having a time and place and partner with whom to have sex. Which I think is what you meant, but the way you (and a couple of other people) have said it kind of makes it sound like, dammit, they’re entitled to sex even if it grosses out the person coerced/paid to be their partner. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/173 "2013-11-27T23:07:25Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I would amend that slightly to say that they shouldn’t be prevented from having sex with willing people due to their caregivers’, families’ and legislators’ squeamishness and actions to prevent them from having a time and place and partner with whom to have sex. Which I think is what you meant, but the way you (and a couple of other people) have said it kind of makes it sound like, dammit, they’re entitled to sex even if it grosses out the person coerced/paid to be their partner. 🙂 I don’t see where you got that from what _I_ said. Jefferson didn’t need to drench the Declaration of Independence with the gravy of qualifiers when he wrote that all are entitled to “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” The physically and developmentally disabled should be given the opportunity to pursue happiness. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/174 "2013-11-28T00:50:39Z")
People certainly aren’t entitled to sex with another person, but it seems cruel to me to deny them self-stimulation. If someone disabled needs assistance with bathing they can get it. If someone disabled need assistance with moving they can get it. If someone disabled needs assistance brushing their teeth they can get it. If they need assistance to masturbate why can’t they get it? It’s not as satisfying as a committed relationship, but it sure as hell can relieve a lot of tension. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/175 "2013-11-28T00:59:19Z")
In Ohio, Medicaid does not cover erectile disfunction. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/176 "2013-11-28T01:02:50Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Have you tried medication such as Cialis or Viagra to treat this erectile dysfunction with no luck? I ask because while it may seem like an obvious question to someone who hasn’t had an erection in 8 years, I am constantly amazed at the number of guys who lament _for years and years_ about the inability to achieve erection anymore after a spinal cord injury or other complication, yet have never taken the step of trying ED medications. > ETA: And medications are only the first step; there are several other, more involved methods for achieving erection in men with severe ED. One simply needs to be motivated. Sorry, missed this. Yes, I have tried Viagra, no luck. I finally have an appointment with a urologist in 2 weeks. Keep those fingers crossed. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/177 "2013-11-28T01:48:54Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > People certainly aren’t entitled to sex with another person, but it seems cruel to me to deny them self-stimulation. If someone disabled needs assistance with bathing they can get it. If someone disabled need assistance with moving they can get it. If someone disabled needs assistance brushing their teeth they can get it. If they need assistance to masturbate why can’t they get it? Particularly if it can be provided via a piece of equipment, as opposed to requiring the assistant to be anywhere near as personally involved as delivering a hand job. > [@](#): > > It’s not as satisfying as a committed relationship, but it sure as hell can relieve a lot of tension. Personally, I’d consider it important for mental health. I’m curious - has anyone researched the physiology of wet dreams? Do nocturnal emissions happen without any manual self-stimulation, or is the person unconsciously masturbating? ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/178 "2013-11-28T04:25:45Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I would amend that slightly to say that they shouldn’t be prevented from having sex with willing people due to their caregivers’, families’ and legislators’ squeamishness and actions to prevent them from having a time and place and partner with whom to have sex. Which I think is what you meant, but the way you (**and a couple of other people) have said it kind of makes it sound like, dammit, they’re entitled to sex even if it grosses out the person** coerced/paid to be their partner. 🙂 I kinda-sorta-maybe suspect that just possibly, you might be responding to some thing(s) I wrote. Let me say, rather: I question why the prospect of jacking off a guy’s dick is seen as being so gross, disgusting, or unethical in the first place. Someone else (not me) pointed out that caregivers and other medical professionals place catheters; deal with bed pans; wipe peoples butts, etc. Why the squeamishness of handling someone’s genitalia for the purposes discussed in this thread? “Just askin’ questions!” 🙂 ETA: I’m “just askin’” at two levels, actually. Why are you, personally, and so many other people similarly situated, so squicked out; and why do we, society as a whole, need to be that way? (And, for purposes of this question, let’s set aside the problems that you might, like, get fired and de-certified because them’s the rules. I’m not looking for an answer at the level of “I’m just covering my ass” here.) ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/179 "2013-11-28T04:32:43Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > In Ohio, Medicaid does not cover erectile disfunction. > ☹ But maybe it should cover erectile function? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/180 "2013-11-28T05:30:47Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > (And, for purposes of this question, let’s set aside the problems that you might, like, get fired and de-certified because them’s the rules. I’m not looking for an answer at the level of “I’m just covering my ass” here.) That honestly is about 90% of my answer. I’m not squicked out by bodies, by penises, by manual stimulating people. Honest, no squick here (although I don’t claim that to be the same answer for every nurse; nurses are people, and we’re raised in this same sexually weird culture as the rest of you.) I started to answer that that was really it, and only it. But thinking harder, there is something else. The other 10% is that, in my experience in 10 years of a polyamorous marriage, other people tend to be really shitty at no-strings-attached sex. The 10% that isn’t concerned with being busted is concerned with the relationship between my patient and I getting romantically complicated if sexual activity is brought into it. I don’t trust anyone who is currently a patient of mine to be able to take it as only physical release and not get weird and inappropriate. I won’t say I’ll never meet anyone who I would trust, but I’ll say I haven’t worked with them yet. ETA: That’s why the machine would make it easier - it depersonalizes the orgasm. It helps to keep it only about the physical release, not about the connection between two people. Nurse/patient relationships, especially long terms ones like in home care or residential care, are already very complicated. They’re already intimate, emotionally and physically. I don’t think I could handle adding romantically and sexually to that list and maintain my professionalism to create accurate diagnoses and care plans and provide excellent care…and not be destroyed every time they die on me. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572/181 "2013-11-28T06:54:06Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I don’t trust anyone who is currently a patient of mine to be able to take it as only physical release and not get weird and inappropriate. I won’t say I’ll never meet anyone who I would trust, but I’ll say I haven’t worked with them yet. You’re probably right. If I hadn’t had an orgasm in _six and a half fucking years_, I’d probably fall desperately in love with the woman who gave it to me. > [@](#): > > ETA: That’s why the machine would make it easier - it depersonalizes the orgasm. It helps to keep it only about the physical release, not about the connection between two people. America would have been such a different country if the European settlers hadn’t been religious wack-jobs who were kicked out of their original countries. It’s morbidly afraid that people might be getting pleasure. Machines like the Venus 2000 should be readily available and cheap, there should be no stigma associated with anyone using one and they should be easily available for those who have few or no other options. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-nurses-or-doctors-ever-have-to-masturbate-disabled-or-paralyzed-people/634572.md?page=10)