# Do pedophiles "fall in love" with their child victims? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [June 11, 2008, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594 "2008-06-11T17:06:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/1 "2008-06-11T17:06:37Z")
Do pedophiles ever say that they are in love with their victims, as a normal adult might romantically be in love with another adult? Or do they pretty much just see the victim as an outlet for sexual urges? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/2 "2008-06-11T17:15:50Z")
Often they will say they love the child. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/3 "2008-06-11T17:17:32Z")
[QUOTE=Revtim] Do pedophiles ever say that they are in love with their victims, as a normal adult might romantically be in love with another adult? Or do they pretty much just see the victim as an outlet for sexual urges? [/QUOTE] The often claim the former (or at least those freaks over at NAMBLA do) but… it’s pretty much the latter. Which is pretty much required for real romantic love. And while some pedophiles do “take care of their children” there’s always a control/power element to the relationship. Their justifications for this are legion, but largely irrelevant. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/4 "2008-06-11T22:14:39Z")
In my psychology studies, I was taught that there are at least three kinds of pedophiles: 1. Adults who are basically still children at heart themselves, and basically seek a partner of their own mental age. These will feel they genuinely love the child, and they will not admit the harm they can do. These people will mostly claim that “children have sexual feelings too” and will say that the child was a willing partner. They will also say that sex is not the main reason for their preference for chidren, and that their relationship " wasn’t about the sex" . 2. Adults who might prefer sexual partners their own age, but are too shy, ugly, insecure or whatever, to pursue a “real” partner. But with kids, such men feel safe, less threatened and more confident. In this group, the same spectrum of feelings from the perp for his young victim exists as would in adult relations ships; ranging from love, to friendship with-or without “benefits”, to the casual consumeristic “grab em’, do em and leave em”-attitude. However, in the latter case harming the child is, from the eye of the perp, a side effect, and not the purpose of the sexual act. 3. Sadistic adults who like molesting kids because of the absolute power they can have over a child, and of the depravity of it all. These are the sadistic monsters from parent’s nightmares. Fortunately, they are a small minority. ---
**Author:** ![sweeteviljesus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@sweeteviljesus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sweeteviljesus)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/5 "2008-06-11T22:51:39Z")
\A friend of mine who used to work for child protective services similarly distinguished between a “true” pedophile and an opportunistic one. One characteristic that he said marked the true pedophile was that they had extremely specific tastes, such as liking only 11 y.o. Hispanic boys. True pedophiles also were not attracted to adults in the same way that, say, heterosexuals are not attracted to members of the same sex.\ FWIW, Rob ---
**Author:** ![Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_and_a_Half_Inches_of_Fun)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/6 "2008-06-11T23:05:56Z")
[QUOTE=Maastricht] These are the sadistic monsters from parent’s nightmares. Fortunately, they are a small minority. [/QUOTE] Aren’t they all monsters from parent’s nightmares though? It is not like the other kinds of pedophiles will do any less damage to a child they rape. The sadism of the rapist does not seem that relevant. ---
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/7 "2008-06-12T01:24:27Z")
Since this is Straight Dope and we strive for precision, I will point out that pedophilia is simply the sexual attraction to children whether or not any sexual activity occurs. Strictly speaking this is just prepubescent children and not young teens. Sexual activity with children is pederasty. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/8 "2008-06-12T03:50:47Z")
[QUOTE=OldGuy] Sexual activity with children is pederasty. [/QUOTE] Not quite. The reason I know is that I recall Hugh Hefner commenting once on rumors that he had once engaged in homosexual sexual activity. He smiled and said that he did as part of the sexual experimentation process, but that he didn’t make a habit of it. He then quoted the following axiom, “Once, a philosopher; twice, a pederast.” 😃 According to Merriam-Webster, pederasty is defined thusly: Main Entry: ped·er·ast Pronunciation: \ˈpe-də-ˌrast\ Function: noun Etymology: Greek paiderastēs, literally, lover of boys, from paid- ped- + erastēs lover, from erasthai to love — more at eros Date: circa 1736 : one who practices anal intercourse especially with a boy — ped·er·as·tic \ˌpe-də-ˈras-tik\ adjective — ped·er·as·ty \ˈpe-də-ˌras-tē\ noun ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/9 "2008-06-12T04:20:37Z")
[QUOTE=Two and a Half Inches of Fun] Aren’t they all monsters from parent’s nightmares though? It is not like the other kinds of pedophiles will do any less damage to a child they rape. The sadism of the rapist does not seem that relevant. [/QUOTE] They’re all monsters, but I think the level of sadism is very relevant. Plain old rape is bad. Rape with a side order of beatings and cigarette burns to the genitals is worse. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/10 "2008-06-12T04:33:47Z")
[QUOTE=OldGuy] Since this is Straight Dope and we strive for precision, I will point out that pedophilia is simply the sexual attraction to children whether or not any sexual activity occurs. Strictly speaking this is just prepubescent children and not young teens. Sexual activity with children is pederasty. [/QUOTE] Sexual activity with teens past puberty (but before the age of consent and by full adults) is done by ephebophiles, if I have the spelling right. ---
**Author:** ![Pseudonihm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Pseudonihm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pseudonihm)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/11 "2015-10-24T03:49:09Z")
> [@OldGuy](#): > > Since this is Straight Dope and we strive for precision, I will point out that pedophilia is simply the sexual attraction to children whether or not any sexual activity occurs. Strictly speaking this is just prepubescent children and not young teens. Sexual activity with children is pederasty. Thank you. I was about to make that distinction myself. I would also like to point out that pedophile is, and has been, misused. The origin of the word comes from the Latin pedo meaning “child, or children”, and phile meaning “to like”. So a pedophile is someone who likes kids. Not in a sexual way. Such as a bibliophile likes books. Pedophilia is correctly used. Philia meaning “sexually attracted”. ---
**Author:** ![Pseudonihm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Pseudonihm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pseudonihm)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/12 "2015-10-24T04:06:24Z")
Not all people who are attracted to minors act on their desires. And the majority of child molesters do not suffer from pedophilia. The scientific community is slowly beginning to show this. But progress is slow. There is very little funding for these studies due to the fact that most of the time people say the only good pedophiliac is a dead pedophiliac. To answer your question, yes some pedophiliacs do feel romantic towards minors. If you are interested in the truth about pedophilia read this article. [http://www.williamapercy.com/wiki/images/Pedophilia.pdf](http://www.williamapercy.com/wiki/images/Pedophilia.pdf) or visit this site. Virtuous Pedohiles [http://virped.org/](http://virped.org/) ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/13 "2015-10-24T04:55:40Z")
Isn’t rape mostly a function of power and violence, not sex? ---
**Author:** ![steatopygia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steatopygia/32/3132_2.png) [@steatopygia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steatopygia)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/14 "2015-10-24T05:24:00Z")
**NOT** gonna click those links. **NOT** gonna speculate on what kind of search revived this zombie. ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/15 "2015-10-24T14:56:11Z")
> [@Pseudonihm](#): > > If you are interested in the truth about pedophilia read this article. > [http://www.williamapercy.com/wiki/images/Pedophilia.pdf](http://www.williamapercy.com/wiki/images/Pedophilia.pdf) > > or visit this site. Virtuous Pedohiles > [http://virped.org/](http://virped.org/) > [@steatopygia](#): > > **NOT** gonna click those links. > **NOT** gonna speculate on what kind of search revived this zombie. For williamapercy.com– > **[Same-Sex Marriage: A Reference Handbook](https://books.google.com/books?id=GRIhoRBj04cC&pg=PA28&lpg=PA28&dq=www.williamapercy.com%2F&source=bl&ots=lMCRlZ_Cqo&sig=wC3jWg0YnmtbW15F05cWa7Gx7GY&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CEQQ6AEwDWoVChMIkObfiq7byAIVCkomCh1yswwA#v=onepage&q=www.williamapercy.com%2F&f=false)** > > Despite a general attitude shift towards accepting same-sex relationships in the United States over the last two decades, there is still a prevailing opinion that same-sex marriages should be prohibited. Indeed, even among the few states that have... > **[Censoring Sex Research](https://books.google.com/books?id=MatbAAAAQBAJ&pg=PA144&lpg=PA144&dq=www.williamapercy.com%2F&source=bl&ots=t6AaKzD0Y6&sig=8EdjG1_XDHwracwvLuV-XardUA4&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CB4Q6AEwATgKahUKEwjlo9aTrtvIAhWG4yYKHW27Bi4#v=onepage&q=www.williamapercy.com%2F&f=false)** > > This volume sheds light on one of the most explosive episodes of censure of academic scholarship in recent decades. Bruce Rind, a former psychology professor at Temple University, investigated sexual relations between male adults and adolescents... For virped.org– > [@](#): > > Virtuous Pedophiles is an Internet-based mutual support group for pedophiles who acknowledge having a sexual interest in children and do not act on their desires.[1][2] Members support each other in trying to lead normal lives without committing child sexual abuse. Members share the belief that sexual activity between adults and children is wrong and always will be.[3] They also work against the stigma attached to pedophiles. The two founders of the group use the pseudonyms Ethan Edwards and Nick Devin. They do not reveal their true identity because they have to fear ostracism and hatred against their stigmatized sexual preference.[1] There are over 800 members registered,[4] including parents of children, parents of pedophiles, a few sex researchers and many pedophiles of both genders. > **[Virtuous Pedophiles](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtuous_Pedophiles)** > > Virtuous Pedophiles is an Internet-based mutual support and public awareness group for pedophiles who acknowledge having a sexual attraction to children but want to lead normal productive lives without abusing children. The two founders of the group, who operate under the pseudonyms Ethan Edwards and Nick Devin, have stated that the initial goal of the group was to improve the "public relations" of pedophiles "to help people see that we're not all molesters" and to help other pedophiles. Virtuous... ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/16 "2015-10-24T14:57:47Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Isn’t rape mostly a function of power and violence, not sex? That’s what a lot of feminists would have you believe. It’s nonsense, of course. People who are into power and violence comment crimes like robbery and carjacking. ---
**Author:** ![Bones\_Daley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@Bones\_Daley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bones_Daley)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/17 "2015-10-24T16:00:47Z")
The prophet Mohammed did …(PBUH) … even married her. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/18 "2015-10-24T16:55:25Z")
Ask Woody Allen ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/19 "2015-10-24T16:58:10Z")
Never underestimate the human capacity for self-delusion and convincing oneself the universe is the way that makes you fit, especially if oneself be damaged to begin with. There are those convinced that the child’s “consent” is valid and willing, they are persecuted and misunderstood, and it’s somehow morally right or at least “not so wrong” that they should seek to consummate it. Then there are those who don’t care if it’s right or wrong and just want to get off. As mentioned there also are those who when aware of pedophillic ideation try to figure out a way to **not** act upon it while still assuring themselves they are merely abnormal, not evil. However they have to live in an environment in which many people believe that itself is delusional. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594/20 "2015-10-24T17:04:27Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > That’s what a lot of feminists would have you believe. It’s nonsense, of course. People who are into power and violence comment crimes like robbery and carjacking. And rape. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-pedophiles-fall-in-love-with-their-child-victims/452594.md?page=2)