# Do People Who Spank Their Kids Become Aroused By Doing So? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 11, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045 "2003-04-11T15:11:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Parrothead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/59ef9b/32.png) [@Parrothead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Parrothead)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/21 "2003-04-11T15:48:43Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by ratatoskK_ > **I certainly hated it.** I know we’re getting off track here (no, it’s not sexual, unless you are pretty deviant in the first place, and then the child probably has larger problems than spanking to deal with)… But isn’t **hating** it the POINT? If you LIKED it, it wouldn’t be punishment, would it? And I also agree with **FairyChatMom**. I got smacked a few times when I was a kid, and it never did me any harm. I was not however forced to drop my drawers (and neither was any other person I have ever spoken to). Anything taken to an extreme is abuse. A whack on the fanny, I have no problem with. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/22 "2003-04-11T15:55:13Z")
While I’m sure the blood flow in many parents is re-routed, I’m certain that in all cases, it is to the blood vessel in their temple. I’m sure that is the only bulge to be found when spanking your kid. ---
**Author:** ![greck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ab992/32.png) [@greck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greck)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/23 "2003-04-11T16:09:38Z")
I’m a therapist, I work quite a bit with kids, have done coursework in human sexuality, I’m pretty knowledgeable about this type of stuff. While I’d not rule out the possibilty that SOMEONE out there gets aroused by spanking his/her kid, I would definitely answer the op question with a “NO.” You’re forgetting that sexual arousal requires context. It’s during sexual arousal that the touch of the buttocks feels good sexually, not otherwise. So for there to be some sort of attempt at arousal via spanking, there would have to be some sort of foreplay, etc. Are these parents supposed to be wining and dining junior before they give him a whoopin? I would like to add: “what kind of sick puppy are you anyway?” I would further nitpick that “negative reinforcement” is the reinforcement of a behavior by removing an undesireable stimulus. For instance, the removal of the discomfort of a nicoteine fit is what reinforces the smoking behavior in the case of cigarette addiction. So, what you’re actually saying is that the cessation of spanking serves to reinforce some behavior, I think. In conclusion, either you were not really serious about this, or you’re seriously ignorant. ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/24 "2003-04-11T16:30:31Z")
**greck** - “_You’re forgetting that sexual arousal requires context. It’s during sexual arousal that the touch of the buttocks feels good sexually, not otherwise. So for there to be some sort of attempt at arousal via spanking, there would have to be some sort of foreplay, etc. Are these parents supposed to be wining and dining junior before they give him a whoopin?_” So you think that every guy who’s ever grabbed at or fondled some woman had to have been ‘wining and dining’ her beforehand? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/25 "2003-04-11T16:33:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Surreal \* > \*\ ***Turek** -“_Having a loud voice doesn’t preclude someone from being an idiot._” > > And calling someone an ‘idiot’ doesn’t prove them wrong and you right, either. \*\* No, but the inability to cogently defend a thesis is not a condition that opens you to compliment. You have wisely posted this in IMHO, but then framed it as a pseudo-debate. Since it’s in IMHO, I gather that you are merely looking for others’ opinions. They are represented well above. If you have any actual evidence to support your inferences and conclusion, toss it out. - Rick ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/26 "2003-04-11T16:33:38Z")
Might I add that most spanking that I or anyone else I know of is not done in the manner you describe. I don’t take off their pants or bend them over my lap. Just a hand smacking a clothed (usually standing) bottom. I’m sure some do it the way you talked about, but it isn’t necessary for spanking to occur. So now we’ve taken away the unclothed idea, and the genitals-in-close-proximity idea. Do you still consider the manner I describe it sexual? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/27 "2003-04-11T16:42:15Z")
By linking grabbing and fondling, to my mind, you’re getting to a rape scenario. And rape isn’t about sex - it’s about power. And it’s another conversation entirely. ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/28 "2003-04-11T16:47:01Z")
Might I add that most spanking that I or anyone else I know of is not done in the manner you describe. I don’t take off their pants or bend them over my lap. Just a hand smacking a clothed (usually standing) bottom. I’m sure some do it the way you talked about, but it isn’t necessary for spanking to occur. So now we’ve taken away the unclothed idea, and the genitals-in-close-proximity idea. Do you still consider the manner I describe it sexual? ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/29 "2003-04-11T16:47:32Z")
I don’t know, **autz**. I’m not positive about all of this, which is why I asked. But since I can’t see any reason for spanking a child, I have to speculate as to what the _real_ reason might be. Why do you spank your kids? ---
**Author:** ![greck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ab992/32.png) [@greck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greck)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/30 "2003-04-11T16:56:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Surreal > \*\* > > So you think that every guy who’s ever grabbed at or fondled some woman had to have been ‘wining and dining’ her beforehand? \*\* That’s about dominance, and general assholery. Maybe a misguided attempt to forego the wining and dining. Probably More like chatmom said, rape, or pre-rape. The reason to spank a child is to pair the pain of being spanked with the act of whatever it is that got them in trouble. In this way, the child understands that (for example) cussing gets them hit; they therefore are likely to avoid cussing in order to avoid getting hit (in theory, the ethics and efficacy of spanking as discipline is another conversation). This is psych 101 stuff, operant conditioning. Maybe you should study basic psychology before trying anything so advanced as calling parents perverts for spanking their children. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/31 "2003-04-11T17:05:20Z")
I have a toddler. We spank very infrequently, in a situation in which he’s putting himself in serious danger… being at Grandma’s house with keys in hand, heading for an electrical socket. We feel that the shock and pain of a swat across the bottom (the diapered bottom, I might add) is an effective teacher, since he’s not yet speaking enough to explain things to. And of course the shock of the swat and the yell is MUCH better than the shock of 120 volts of house current might be. I anticipate phasing out spanking as his language skills develop to the point where he can understand what we’re saying and why we’re saying it. While I doubt that there is any sexual component to the vast majority of bare-bottom spankings, I don’t forsee using that technique in raising my child. - Rick ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/32 "2003-04-11T17:08:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Surreal \* > \*\*I don’t know, **autz**. I’m not positive about all of this, which is why I asked. > > But since I can’t see any reason for spanking a child, I have to speculate as to what the _real_ reason might be. > > Why do you spank your kids? \*\* I think this is a highly disingenuous statement. Surely you don’t mean you don’t see any logical reasoning at all behind spanking? Perhaps you mean that you, personally, are unconvinced it’s the most effective method of teaching a child. Certainly, reasonable people may disagree on this point. But for you to say that you simply don’t see any reason, apart from repressed sexual dominance, for a parent to spank a child is frankly unbelievable. And I don’t believe you. ---
**Author:** ![lachesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/33 "2003-04-11T17:13:00Z")
let’s see, why do kids get spanked? [ul] o they’ve directly disobeyed a well-known order or other parental guidance o they’ve engaged in behavior that has put themselves, others, or both in proximate danger of life and/or limb o while not perhaps disobeying a “direct” order or command, they have engaged in behavior that has had extraordinary consequences on property, others, or events (i.e., pulling the fire alarm at a theater or church; cutting off all their sibling’s hair; using housepaint to decorate family car\*). understood within this context is that child, while not having been **specifically** directed not to do this, did realize that it was something that should NOT have been done in the first place. o has engaged in whiny, spoiled-brat behavior for such a prolonged period that any reasonable adult would understandably lose patience and apply a well-deserved swat. (i only wish this was much more common, particularly in stores and other public areas.) [/ul] yup, those sound like pretty standard occasions to me. lachesis \*all examples are purely hypothetical, and have **not** been engaged in by the correspondent. ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/34 "2003-04-11T17:13:33Z")
Okay, **Bricker** , that sounds reasonable to me. The bare-bottom spanking method that SOME parents use on their children looks very suspicious to me, however. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/35 "2003-04-11T17:17:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Parrothead \* > \*\*I know that I have not posted enough to have the ability to give this award, so can I merely nominate this for “most ridiculous post of the week” award? > \*\* I disagree completely. I think it’s the most ridiculous post of the month. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/36 "2003-04-11T17:19:32Z")
The more a spanking becomes a ritual, **Surreal** , the more I begin to distrust the motive of the spanker. A quick spank, at the moment of misbehavior, is a highly effective way of using pain to impart a lesson. Negative reinforcement is a powerful teacher, after all. The more remote in time the spanking is from the offense, the less teaching value it has. If you’re talking about a highly ritualized behavior, employed on an older child, remote in time from the offense, then would say I don’t agree it’s an effective parenting tool - and I would agree that the motives of the spanker are at least open to question. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/37 "2003-04-11T17:21:33Z")
[Freud] Sometimes a spank is just a spank. [/Freud] ---
**Author:** ![greck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ab992/32.png) [@greck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greck)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/38 "2003-04-11T17:24:26Z")
BTW, cool band: [www.thebigspank.com](http://www.thebigspank.com) ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/39 "2003-04-11T17:27:30Z")
This is the craziest “serious” thread I have seen on here in weeks. People only get spanked in the manner in which you so graphically described in the movies or by old, crotchitty people. I know my parents would beat my ass as soon as they got a hold of one of my arms. There was no “structure” to it like you describe. In fact I don’t know anyone who has spanked their kid like that. I have spanked my daughter a few times but it is mostly for shock value when she won’t listen or does something dangerous. I have never spanked her bare ass. This is silly. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045/40 "2003-04-11T17:34:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Surreal \* > \*\*Okay, **Bricker** , that sounds reasonable to me. > > The bare-bottom spanking method that SOME parents use on their children looks very suspicious to me, however. \*\* Maybe they do it that way because it hurts more? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-people-who-spank-their-kids-become-aroused-by-doing-so/168045.md?page=3)