# Do Sex Therapists Have Sex With You?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [October 19, 2007, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285 "2007-10-19T10:45:34Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@noblebaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noblebaron)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/1 "2007-10-19T10:45:34Z")
Are there any sex therapists who actually engage in one-on-one private sex therapy with their clients?
I’m thinking of a professional setting where the therapist actually physically engages the client in a therapeutic setting.
On a side note, I’m looking for a preferably older, experienced woman to teach me all about tantric lovemaking. Does anyone do this professionally (NOT an escort!), or does one simply have to find a regular partner and get the books out, so to speak?
Just curious.
-NB
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### Author:  [@noblebaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noblebaron)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/2 "2007-10-19T11:00:24Z")
Has anyone ever seen the movie Bliss?
> **[Bliss (1997) ⭐ 6.0 | Drama, Romance](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118742/)**
>
> 1h 43m | R
(this kind of therapist.)
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/3 "2007-10-19T11:00:51Z")
[QUOTE=noblebaron]
Are there any sex therapists who actually engage in one-on-one private sex therapy with their clients?
I’m thinking of a professional setting where the therapist actually physically engages the client in a therapeutic setting.
[/quote]
I’m struggling to imagine a context in which:
- Someone would require sex therapy
- Having sex with a stranger wouldn’t aggravate that requirement further.
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### Author:  [@noblebaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noblebaron)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/4 "2007-10-19T11:02:41Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout]
I’m struggling to imagine a context in which:
- Someone would require sex therapy
- Having sex with a stranger wouldn’t aggravate that requirement further.
[/QUOTE]
I wasn’t actually thinking of the person who is seeking therapy being in a current relationship. Client is single.
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/5 "2007-10-19T11:08:41Z")
[QUOTE=noblebaron]
I wasn’t actually thinking of the person who is seeking therapy being in a current relationship. Client is single.
[/QUOTE]
Don’t see how that makes a lot of difference. How is such an abnormal sexual relationship supposed to be therapeutic?
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### Author:  [@noblebaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noblebaron)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/6 "2007-10-19T11:16:46Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout]
Don’t see how that makes a lot of difference. How is such an abnormal sexual relationship supposed to be therapeutic?
[/QUOTE]
Couldn’t a tantric master assist the client with their sexual healing (undoing blocks) and thereby help the client become better at love making?
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### Author:  [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/7 "2007-10-19T11:17:20Z")
I read an article on _Salon_, I think, many years ago about exactly this kind of therapist. They mostly worked with men in their thirties who had never had sex due to terminal awkwardness around women and something approaching a phobia of sex (not exactly a phobia, given its ties to their desire to have sex). Not all the therapists went all the way with every client–it sounded as if it were a judgment call for each therapist how far to go–but the basic idea was that they would help the guys get over their terror of women and learn some basic courtship behaviors, up to and including how to behave once clothes started coming off.
Daniel
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/8 "2007-10-19T11:18:54Z")
[QUOTE=noblebaron]
Couldn’t a tantric master assist the client with their sexual healing (undoing blocks) and thereby help the client become better at love making?
[/QUOTE]
You appear to know more about this than me, so I’ll leave you to it. Good luck.
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### Author:  [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/9 "2007-10-19T11:25:05Z")
I think they have a word for this: prostitute!
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### Author:  [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/10 "2007-10-19T11:35:02Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout]
Don’t see how that makes a lot of difference. How is such an abnormal sexual relationship supposed to be therapeutic?
[/QUOTE]
Well, I could see a guy with premature ejaculation working on techniques to not pop off so fast. I can see a woman who can not orgasm because of embarassment being able to work through it with a therapist rather than a lover. I could see someone who is curious about different techniques wanting to learn with a therapist who knows how to do something specific.
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### Author:  [@noblebaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noblebaron)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/11 "2007-10-19T11:41:43Z")
I found an interesting page that touches on the subject:
[http://www.sacredsexuality.us/healing/index.html](http://www.sacredsexuality.us/healing/index.html)
As outlined in the above page, in certain settings there can be a sex therapist who works with the client in conjunction with a “sex surrogate”; presumably with whom the client practices techniques as directed by the therapist.
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### Author:  [@Marienee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marienee)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/12 "2007-10-19T11:52:29Z")
The technique of using a sex surrogate as part of sex therapy was popularized at least by Masters and Johnson in the 70s. How often it is still used I do not know.
I do know that sex surrogates are sometimes called in for situations where a person becomes disabled, for exmple.
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### Author:  [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/13 "2007-10-19T12:02:01Z")
♪\* i need sexual heeeealing!\* ♫
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### Author:  [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/14 "2007-10-19T12:08:20Z")
It used to be, if not common, at least not shock-horror unbelievable in the 70s and 80s. As usual wikipedia has just enough [information](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_surrogate).
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### Author:  [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/15 "2007-10-19T12:33:24Z")
The type of relationship you’re envisioning would run counter to the code of professional ethics that any licensed therapist is sworn to uphold. Additionally, it wouldn’t be therapeutic to have a sexual relationship with your therapist - you’re just trading one set of problems for another.
All of this according to my wife, who is a licensed professional psychotherapist.
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### Author:  [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/16 "2007-10-19T13:08:44Z")
[QUOTE=Marienee]
The technique of using a sex surrogate as part of sex therapy was popularized at least by Masters and Johnson in the 70s.
[/QUOTE]
Are you sure it wasn’t Bush and Johnson?
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### Author:  [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/17 "2007-10-19T13:13:13Z")
Would it be covered by most medical insurance plans? Would it be tax deductible?
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### Author:  [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/18 "2007-10-19T17:33:07Z")
submitted without comment
> **[Home | SurrogateTherapy.org](https://www.surrogatetherapy.org/)**
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/19 "2007-10-19T17:39:23Z")
[QUOTE=outlierrn]
submitted without comment
> **[Home | SurrogateTherapy.org](https://www.surrogatetherapy.org/)**
>
> IPSA is the internationally recognized authority on Surrogate Partner Therapy, providing training, referrals, education, and professional standards since 1973.
[/QUOTE]
I learned about this in a psychology of sex class, but we were taught it was used in the context of people who were disabled. That is, they could “hire” someone to have sex with them, explore their sexuality, for a few sessions. It seems a bit oogy, but apparently is on the level.
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### Author:  [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2007, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/20 "2007-10-19T17:54:00Z")
[QUOTE=Left Hand of Dorkness]
I read an article on _Salon_, I think, many years ago about exactly this kind of therapist. They mostly worked with men in their thirties who had never had sex due to terminal awkwardness around women and something approaching a phobia of sex (not exactly a phobia, given its ties to their desire to have sex). Not all the therapists went all the way with every client–it sounded as if it were a judgment call for each therapist how far to go–but the basic idea was that they would help the guys get over their terror of women and learn some basic courtship behaviors, up to and including how to behave once clothes started coming off.
[/QUOTE]
Years ago my Mom had a friend who was a “sexual surrogate.” As I was told, it went exactly as **LHoD** described above.
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