# Do Sex Therapists Have Sex With You? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 19, 2007, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285 "2007-10-19T10:45:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/21 "2007-10-19T17:54:30Z")
Even if a full contact surrogate could be found (which I think is doubtful), I doubt that tantric sex lessons would count as any kind of legitimate clinical “therapy.” ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/22 "2007-10-19T18:15:04Z")
I read through parts of that and didn’t see this, but how exactly is this not prostitution? ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/23 "2007-10-19T20:04:09Z")
I know someone back home who does this. He cuts hair as a real business, and offers tantric therapy as a side business. It’s not prostitution for him, because he doesn’t charge a fee. You just pay him what you feel that the session was worth. However, this might have been a ruse to get the young handsome guy in bed. FWIW, I saw him advertise a couple of times in some local gay messageboards/Yahoo groups. ---
**Author:** ![fluffyemu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@fluffyemu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluffyemu)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/24 "2007-10-19T23:29:30Z")
Do most “sex therapists” have sex with their clients? No. Most self-declared “sex therapists” try to approach sexual problems and stumbling blocks from a psychological perspective. Most of them deal with couples and offer suggestions, compromises, etc. So when you hear the term “sex therapist,” it usually isn’t any more exciting than sitting in a room with a psychologist and talking about sexual problems - maybe with some sort of sex products to take home and try. That said, sexual surrogates DO exist, but they’re not what you’re most likely referring to when you use the word “sex therapist.” The legitimate ones - as opposed to glorified escorts - are utilized for extreme cases. There was a recurring character on Boston Legal who was a sexual surrogate and took a very serious approach to helping a somewhat mentally disturbed man whose closest companion was a life-sized doll. It isn’t unlike phobia therapy; slowly exposing your patient to the circumstances that create anxiety. Little known fact; your body starts losing its ability to remain anxious in most situations within 20 minutes, which is why a lot of psychologists make you look at a picture of a spider until your body gives up freaking out over it. In short, legitimate sexual surrogates do exist, but they’re rare and a legal gray area. If you’re deathly afraid of women or have a psychological block against sex that greatly impairs your sex life, it might be beneficial to see one. If you have issues with premature ejaculation, a sex therapist can give you exercises to help you with control. If you want to learn the Kama Sutra, however, you’d be better off going to the Bunny Ranch. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/25 "2007-10-19T23:39:46Z")
Sorry, but if your “session” has a “happy ending” then I have a hard time viewing the “provider” of service as a “therapist”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/26 "2007-10-20T05:21:14Z")
[QUOTE=chaoticbear] I know someone back home who does this. He cuts hair as a real business, and offers tantric therapy as a side business. It’s not prostitution for him, because he doesn’t charge a fee. You just pay him what you feel that the session was worth. [/QUOTE] I recall an episode of COPS where an undercover officer picked up a young freelance therapist on the roadside and gave her a ride. She quickly offered to have sex with the officer _gratis_ because she could instantly feel a connection, and simply requested he loan her some money, completely unrelated to the sex act, to cover some unspecified necessities of hers. She was arrested along with the other hookers. ---
**Author:** ![DrRon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@DrRon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrRon)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/27 "2016-06-25T16:22:09Z")
Hi Noblebaron. This is a response to your question: do sex therapists have sex with you. Legitimate sex therapists are licensed mental health professionals who are certified by a national organization such as AASECT. I am a Sex Therapy Diplomate(AASECT), a licensed psychologist and am forbidden by law and ethics to engage in sexual contact with my patients. I would very promptly lose my license and certification and, in some states, might land in jail. There are non legitimate “Sex Therapists” in some areas not regulated who may or may not engage with you sexually. There are allied professions: Sexual Surrogates, and Sexological Body workers who are trained and certified and who may touch you in sexual ways, although their legality is questionable in some states. There are also teachers of Tantra some of whom are certified professionals and some who my operate without benefit of license or legitimate certification. You can do web searches for certifying organizations. If your “sex therapist” is not licensed or certified by a legitimate national organization, then practice due diligence and caution. Ron Feintech, PhD Sex Therapy Diplomate, AASECT ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/28 "2016-06-25T18:25:45Z")
DrRon, anybody with good information is welcome on the Dope. Thanks for a knowledgeable response. But noblebaron started this thread in 2007 and hasn’t posted here since 2008. That’s the problem with so-called zombie threads. The information isn’t likely to get to the person who requested it. ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/29 "2016-06-25T20:21:38Z")
Yeah, sex between a client and a “legitimate sex therapists [that] are licensed mental health professionals” can be viewed by the courts as “non-consensual” … thus subject to first-degree rape charges. So that would be one hell of a lot of time in jail. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/30 "2016-06-25T23:43:03Z")
Cracked did an article on this last month: > **[An Inside Look At Sexual Surrogacy](https://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-2260-f23ck21ng-people-therapy-inside-sexual-surrogacy.html)** > > Let's talk about crippling sexual dysfunction, baby. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/31 "2016-06-26T00:39:18Z")
> [@watchwolf49](#): > > Yeah, sex between a client and a “legitimate sex therapists [that] are licensed mental health professionals” can be viewed by the courts as “non-consensual” … thus subject to first-degree rape charges. So that would be one hell of a lot of time in jail. How about a cite for that? ---
**Author:** ![syncrolecyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@syncrolecyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/syncrolecyne)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/32 "2016-06-26T00:45:14Z")
Isn’t the Helen Hunt film “The Sessions” based on a true incidence of this? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/33 "2016-06-26T00:54:42Z")
> [@noblebaron](#): > > Do Sex Therapists Have Sex With You? With you? Not in 2007 and not now. I suggest you expand your requirements for a girlfriend and become less of a guy without a girlfriend. Fake it 'til you make it. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/34 "2016-06-26T01:22:47Z")
> [@syncrolecyne](#): > > Isn’t the Helen Hunt film “The Sessions” based on a true incidence of this? Yes, it is. No zombies were used in the film’s production, either. :o ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/35 "2016-06-26T01:38:35Z")
> [@watchwolf49](#): > > Yeah, sex between a client and a “legitimate sex therapists [that] are licensed mental health professionals” can be viewed by the courts as “non-consensual” … thus subject to first-degree rape charges. So that would be one hell of a lot of time in jail. Yeah I would like to see a cite too. I know in my state the victim would have to have a mental defect which would keep them from understanding the nature of the act. Just going to a therapist does not come remotely close to that ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/36 "2016-06-27T00:29:33Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Yeah I would like to see a cite too. I know in my state the victim would have to have a mental defect which would keep them from understanding the nature of the act. Just going to a therapist does not come remotely close to that It’s not rape, but it is illegal. Here’s a CA cite: [Therapy Never Includes Sexual Behavior - California Department of Consumer Affairs](http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/proftherapy.shtml#criminal) > [@](#): > > The law makes it a crime for a therapist to have sexual contact with a patient. For a first offense with only one victim, an offender would probably be charged with a misdemeanor. For this charge, the penalty may be a sentence of up to one year in county jail, or up to $1,000 in fines, or both. Second and following offenses, or offenses with more than one victim, may be misdemeanors or felonies. The penalty in such felony cases can be up to three years in prison, or up to $10,000 in fines, or both. > > This law applies to two situations: > > The therapist has sexual contact with a patient during therapy, or > The therapist ends therapy primarily to start having sexual contact with the patient (unless the therapist has referred the patient to an independent and objective therapist who has been recommended by a third-party therapist). It’s a crime in GA as well; over the years I had three coworkers who were charged with having sex with their patients. IIRC it fell under sexual exploitation. ---
**Author:** ![HeXen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@HeXen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeXen)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/37 "2016-06-27T00:34:39Z")
So you basically need a professional hooker right? Or a kinky g/f? ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/38 "2016-06-27T00:54:50Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > It’s not rape, but it is illegal. Here’s a CA cite: [Therapy Never Includes Sexual Behavior - California Department of Consumer Affairs](http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/proftherapy.shtml#criminal) That _Cracked_ article cited by Mister Rik said: > [@](#): > > But since 2003, sexual surrogacy has been essentially legal, though very much unregulated (the practice, of course, existed long before then). California’s state attorney general summed the rules up as, “If it’s between consensual adults and referred by licensed therapists and doesn’t involve minors, then it’s not illegal.” The quote is from a guy who wrote a book on the subject, which may be worthwhile. OTOH, the guy is a Cracked editor… ---
**Author:** ![bardos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bardos/32/1069_2.png) [@bardos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bardos)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/39 "2016-06-27T12:01:29Z")
I am not exactly sure about what you (OP) are looking for. You are speaking about two opposite poles in your original message. Tantric Sex is a whole nother animal, light years removed from sex therapy. At first, it is best studied in books, not just chatted about with folks who have zero knowledge but like the terminology because the word “sex” is used. The first thing might be to acquire a right understanding of what it is and what it requires, its history, what its goals, aims and purposes might be. As far as my knowledge goes, this is in no way a “profession”, but a means to an end. One’s tantra partner should be chosen very carefully. Not in the Yellow Pages. As far as assistance in learning about tantra, what you should be looking for is what is called in the trade “a school” where tantric sex may be an option to be studied, learnt about and perhaps practised if you find an adequate partner, someone equally dedicated. If you PM me, I might be able to recommend a book which I myself consider the definitive work on this subject. Others’ mileage may vary. Saludos ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sex-therapists-have-sex-with-you/423285/40 "2016-06-27T12:15:36Z")
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