# Do (should?) you invite people to activities you don't think they'll enjoy?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-should-you-invite-people-to-activities-you-dont-think-theyll-enjoy/975592
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [November 26, 2022, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-should-you-invite-people-to-activities-you-dont-think-theyll-enjoy/975592 "2022-11-26T15:44:54Z")
**Posts on this page:** 5
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2022, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-should-you-invite-people-to-activities-you-dont-think-theyll-enjoy/975592/21 "2022-11-28T14:59:14Z")
> [@Telemark](#):
>
> The man looks at him quizzically, and then a smile of understanding comes over his face. “Oh, no. No one has died. I’ve just given up drinking.”
You totally win the thread.
---
### Author:  [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2022, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-should-you-invite-people-to-activities-you-dont-think-theyll-enjoy/975592/22 "2022-11-28T16:15:37Z")
I’m one of those guys who has absolutely zero interest in college or professional sports. Over the years, I’ve made this pretty clear to friends and family (in the nicest way, of course). I NEVER get invited to attend events where watching a game, tournament, or race is the main planned activity and I’m extremely grateful for the hosts’ consideration.
OTOH, I am often at a family dinner where a game is on the 178" TV at 124 dB throughout pre-dinner mingling, dinner itself, and the desert hour. Just happened last Friday where I had to sit through double-OT for the NCSU v. UNC game before they’d let my wife and me leave. It was probably quieter at the stadium than it was in that house. (As an aside, not a single person at that dinner had attended either of those schools.)
---
### Author:  [@Wrenching\_Spanners](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wrenching_Spanners)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2022, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-should-you-invite-people-to-activities-you-dont-think-theyll-enjoy/975592/23 "2022-11-28T17:56:23Z")
> [@ZonexandScout](#):
>
> I’m one of those guys who has absolutely zero interest in college or professional sports. Over the years, I’ve made this pretty clear to friends and family (in the nicest way, of course). I NEVER get invited to attend events where watching a game, tournament, or race is the main planned activity and I’m extremely grateful for the hosts’ consideration.
Your situation sounds like you’re pretty much asking to be excluded from the invitations to sports events. In which case, it is polite to exclude you because you’ve asked to be excluded, if the sole purpose is the sports event.
However…
> [@ZonexandScout](#):
>
> OTOH, I am often at a family dinner where a game is on the 178" TV at 124 dB throughout pre-dinner mingling, dinner itself, and the desert hour. Just happened last Friday where I had to sit through double-OT for the NCSU v. UNC game before they’d let my wife and me leave.
That response sound like you and your wife are collectively valuing the positives of the family event over the negatives of the sports event which will coincide. In social situations, that is often going to be the dynamic. My opinion is that you’re better off letting an invitee deciding the net value of the positives and negatives of an invitation, rather than an inviter making that decision for the invitees, especially when there’s a possibility that a non-invitee could have their feelings hurt.
---
### Author:  [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2022, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-should-you-invite-people-to-activities-you-dont-think-theyll-enjoy/975592/24 "2022-11-28T18:22:08Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#):
>
> I gave up drinking a few years ago but I still go out for “drinks” regularly with the same guys. They never stopped inviting me and I never stopped going.
And this of course gets to the question, what is the _actual_ purpose of the gathering? Is it to actually drink, or are the drinks the excuse used to hang out and talk with people about whatever? In the latter case, someone who doesn’t actually drink can still hang out, eat nachos and drink a coke or something, while everyone sits around gossiping.
---
### Author:  [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2022, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-should-you-invite-people-to-activities-you-dont-think-theyll-enjoy/975592/25 "2022-11-29T03:45:16Z")
Who wants to come to my Semi-Annual Septic Tank Pump-out and BBQ? It’s ‘Bring Your Own’ and after dinner, we’ll be expressing the Dachshund’s Anal Glands!
RSVP ASAP!
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-should-you-invite-people-to-activities-you-dont-think-theyll-enjoy/975592.md?page=1)