# Do sperm think? If you prick us do we not bleed? (I couldn't resist) **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 9, 2000, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sperm-think-if-you-prick-us-do-we-not-bleed-i-couldnt-resist/44711 "2000-12-09T00:40:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![IBBen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/85f322/32.png) [@IBBen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IBBen)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sperm-think-if-you-prick-us-do-we-not-bleed-i-couldnt-resist/44711/1 "2000-12-09T00:40:37Z")
Am I creating (and sometimes unnecessarily wasting) microscopic creatures with a purpose, a mission, a thought process? “Egg, egg, egg”, thinks Matt Ozoa. Sentient? I wonder. Salmon swimming up a dangerous stream indeed. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sperm-think-if-you-prick-us-do-we-not-bleed-i-couldnt-resist/44711/2 "2000-12-09T00:50:31Z")
And what exactly would sperm think _with_? ---
**Author:** ![LazarusLong42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@LazarusLong42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LazarusLong42)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sperm-think-if-you-prick-us-do-we-not-bleed-i-couldnt-resist/44711/3 "2000-12-09T01:10:01Z")
If sperm could think, they’d all get to the egg–or at least refrain from trying to fertilize, frex, vaginal walls, the Fallopian tubes, and the uterine walls–all of which they do. They have a purpose, but no mission and certainly no thought process. I can’t believe I answered this 🙂 LL ---
**Author:** ![djbdjb2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@djbdjb2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djbdjb2)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sperm-think-if-you-prick-us-do-we-not-bleed-i-couldnt-resist/44711/4 "2000-12-09T01:21:45Z")
If they can’t think, how can they TRY to do things 😉 (too lazy to learn how to do a real smiley right now) ---
**Author:** ![IBBen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/85f322/32.png) [@IBBen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IBBen)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sperm-think-if-you-prick-us-do-we-not-bleed-i-couldnt-resist/44711/5 "2000-12-09T01:22:00Z")
Lazarus, You describe survival of the fittest. If **every** sperm were a genius, they still wouldn’t **all** reach the egg. Only the strong **and** the smart would survive the arduous journey. ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sperm-think-if-you-prick-us-do-we-not-bleed-i-couldnt-resist/44711/6 "2000-12-09T04:47:42Z")
I can’t remember whether it’s from a Woody Allen film or just a joke, But: The cognizant sperm go through all the preparation of ejucalation (picture paratroopers about to deploy) only to realize it’s a blow job. ---
**Author:** ![peace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@peace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peace)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-sperm-think-if-you-prick-us-do-we-not-bleed-i-couldnt-resist/44711/7 "2000-12-09T05:10:27Z")
The answer is YES. I remember the story this old sperm told me about his youth. He was ejaculated and the whole pack swam forward as fast as they could. In a few minutes, he reached something big and white. He recalled that the ovum was supposed to be big and white. “Hi, ovum”, he said. “Idiot, I am a tooth”.