# Do the house elves in Harry Potter have sexual relations with each other? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 3, 2005, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-the-house-elves-in-harry-potter-have-sexual-relations-with-each-other/333855 "2005-12-03T03:05:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-the-house-elves-in-harry-potter-have-sexual-relations-with-each-other/333855/61 "2005-12-04T21:42:22Z")
> [@flamingbananas](#): > > Oh come now, there really are some good ones. They’re just hidden by the slutty Luna\* fics. It’s interesting that even in a world of wizards, psychics are flakes! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-the-house-elves-in-harry-potter-have-sexual-relations-with-each-other/333855/62 "2005-12-04T22:13:05Z")
> [@Revenant Threshold](#): > > Boo. She’s my favourite character - damn the writers for making her slutty! > > Anyway, back on the topic (i’m sure there was one, at some point), it’s probably that house-elves have sexual organs, at the very least - why else would they take to wearing tea-towels, tea cosies etc instead of actual clothes? If they didn’t have anything to hide, they wouldn’t need to cover up at all. FTR, Dobby is the only house-elf alleged to have worn a tea-cozy. He wore [wears] it as a hat. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-the-house-elves-in-harry-potter-have-sexual-relations-with-each-other/333855/63 "2005-12-04T22:22:36Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > FTR, Dobby is the only house-elf alleged to have worn a tea-cozy. He wore [wears] it as a hat. True, but my point was that house-elves wear clothing substitutes - if they have no genitalia, why do they need to cover themselves up? You’d assume they’d wear nothing unless given clothes and set free. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-the-house-elves-in-harry-potter-have-sexual-relations-with-each-other/333855/64 "2005-12-04T22:30:56Z")
> [@Revenant Threshold](#): > > True, but my point was that house-elves wear clothing substitutes - if they have no genitalia, why do they need to cover themselves up? You’d assume they’d wear nothing unless given clothes and set free. Just making the point tat Dobby’s tea-cozy was a proud article of clothing he obtained for himeslf upon acquiring his freedom. He didn’t wear it for modesty’s sake. I do agree, however, that genital-related modesty is the purpose for the scraps of cloth with which most house-elves bedeck themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-the-house-elves-in-harry-potter-have-sexual-relations-with-each-other/333855/65 "2005-12-05T05:37:01Z")
Y’all are cracking me up. I love bad pairings (Ron/Giant Squid comes to mind, also Sirius/Buckbeak and Grawp/Hermione) not because I want to actually read them, but because their existence gives me hours of amusement. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-the-house-elves-in-harry-potter-have-sexual-relations-with-each-other/333855/66 "2005-12-05T11:56:12Z")
I can’t help but read of Grawp/Hermione and Snape/house elf and think of [this thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=347291) Yeah, you’ll be sorry you heard about that, too. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-the-house-elves-in-harry-potter-have-sexual-relations-with-each-other/333855/67 "2005-12-05T21:55:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Ron/Giant Squid comes to mind To be fair, that one was actually suggested in _Half-Blood Prince_ (spoiler that follows is very minor): Ron ends up dating Lavender Brown for a while (sheesh, man, have you no taste at all?), who turns out to be very clingy, in more sense than one. He comments at one point (after he’s beginning to tire of the relationship, but before he can get up the gumption to just _end_ it) that it’s like dating the giant squid.I can’t really blame some anonymous fan for taking that and running with it. ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-the-house-elves-in-harry-potter-have-sexual-relations-with-each-other/333855/68 "2005-12-05T22:03:32Z")
[someone already has.](http://www.livejournal.com/users/potterpuffs/2517.html#cutid5) > [@Chronos](#): > > To be fair, that one was actually suggested in _Half-Blood Prince_ (spoiler that follows is very minor): > > Ron ends up dating Lavender Brown for a while (sheesh, man, have you no taste at all?), who turns out to be very clingy, in more sense than one. He comments at one point (after he’s beginning to tire of the relationship, but before he can get up the gumption to just _end_ it) that it’s like dating the giant squid.I can’t really blame some anonymous fan for taking that and running with it. Oh, [someone already has](http://www.livejournal.com/users/potterpuffs/2517.html#cutid5). (To an extent. It’s not really dirty at all, but prolly not work safe, just to be on the safe side…) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-the-house-elves-in-harry-potter-have-sexual-relations-with-each-other/333855/69 "2005-12-05T22:08:08Z")
> [@Millit the Frail](#): > > I love bad pairings (Ron/Giant Squid comes to mind . . . Not a bad pairing at all . . . so long as it’s a young, firm, farm-fresh **PRAIRIE SQUID!** 😉 [http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/hallscience/X0090\_WhencePrairieSquid.html](http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/hallscience/X0090_WhencePrairieSquid.html) ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-the-house-elves-in-harry-potter-have-sexual-relations-with-each-other/333855/70 "2005-12-06T00:08:38Z")
> [@flamingbananas](#): > > Imagine Snape. > and a house elf. > > …Yeah, I quit reading it So does that mean if I write a Dobby/Hermione fic called “Womb for S.P.E.W.” you’re not going to read it? aww. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-the-house-elves-in-harry-potter-have-sexual-relations-with-each-other/333855/71 "2005-12-06T01:11:28Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > So does that mean if I write a Dobby/Hermione fic called “Womb for S.P.E.W.” you’re not going to read it? aww. ☹ Aw, I’ll check it out before recoiling in horror and scooping out my eyeballs with an ice cream scooper. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-the-house-elves-in-harry-potter-have-sexual-relations-with-each-other/333855.md?page=3)