# Do Tweethearts = cheating? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 25, 2010, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359 "2010-12-25T15:03:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359/1 "2010-12-25T15:03:07Z")
This is an interesting discussion that arouse around a holiday dinner table. In this case, a Tweetheart is an online boyfriend or girlfriend to someone who is in a real-life relationship. (Tweetheart, from “Tweeter” relationships) I agree that the possibilities here are endless as to the extent of the relationship, ranging from simple friendly occasional notes to let’s have hot cybersex and send pictures while doin’ it! What’s your opinion? Is it a black or white thing, or do you believe there is a grey area. Where do you draw the line? My search shows that this hasn’t been looked at in [4 1/2](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=379416&highlight=online+relationships+cheating) years, so perhaps it’s not too soon to revisit it. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359/2 "2010-12-25T15:40:58Z")
I don’t know if I’d call it cheating or not, but I wouldn’t date a guy with a “Tweeteart,” as that means, by definition, he is 15 years old and retarded. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359/3 "2010-12-25T15:45:19Z")
Tweetheart, my ass. Emotional cheating is emotional cheating, whether or not the person is physically in front of you or not. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359/4 "2010-12-25T17:28:30Z")
In my marriage, absolutely. He doesn’t flirt with me, he sure as hell shouldn’t be flirting with anyone else. In yours? Who knows? It’s up to a couple to determine the boundaries of their relationship. I know people who really enjoy flirting and could keep that sort of thing separate and low key. I don’t understand it–I’m just not built that way–but I am willing to believe it. On the other hand, it’s a gray enough area that it needs to be openly talked about. Anyone carrying on this sort of relationship in secret and then claiming they didn’t know it was against the rules is being a douche. And if one’s partner is uncomfortable with it, you need to decide your priorities and either get out of the flirtatious relationship or leave your partner: this sort of thing is too contentious to just leave there, festering. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359/5 "2010-12-25T18:11:02Z")
It’s not the tweetin’, it’s the cheatin’.\* Any act can be cheating if it’s done in secret, behind the back, with intent to deceive. [sub]\* 21st century country anthems #42[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Not\_a\_Platypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@Not\_a\_Platypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_a_Platypus)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359/6 "2010-12-25T18:18:37Z")
Stupid term aside, it depends on what’s actually going on. I wouldn’t be okay with him having a “girlfriend” that was more than a friend, and helping each other get off (hot cyber sex, with or without pictures) is never going to be fine unless we have a serious talk about changing the terms of our relationship **first** , which I don’t see happening anytime soon. We chose to be monogamous and that’s the deal. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359/7 "2010-12-25T18:53:57Z")
**Lisacurl** nailed it, although I would call the dividing line “alienation of affection.” If what you do online is taking something away from your SO/spouse/RDP/whatever that would otherwise be reserved to him/her, it’s cheating (and I’m not talking about WoW, wiseass). If you’re a big flirt, and your husband knows you’re a big flirt, and it never means anything, and it doesn’t mean anything in the instant case, then it’s not cheating. If you’re not a big flirt, but something about this person who’s just an online friend you’ve never met “and I would never cheat on my wife” just inspires the double-entendre-laden banter – you’re cheating. Probably. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359/8 "2010-12-25T18:55:16Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I don’t know if I’d call it cheating or not, but I wouldn’t date a guy with a “Tweeteart,” as that means, by definition, he is 15 years old and retarded. Yeah. I’d just have to ask what it is he or she is getting out of a Tweetheart relationship that they aren’t from a real life one. I mean–what’s the point? What kind of person is this who has the choice of a real relationship and prefers Twitter? Nothing wrong with Twitter but it’s not the same thing as a real relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359/9 "2010-12-25T19:41:26Z")
General rule of “Is it cheating…?”: If you wouldn’t do it openly in front of your spouse, you probably shouldn’t be doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359/10 "2010-12-25T20:06:19Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I don’t know if I’d call it cheating or not, but I wouldn’t date a guy with a “Tweeteart,” as that means, by definition, he is 15 years old and retarded. > [@lisacurl](#): > > Tweetheart, my ass. Emotional cheating is emotional cheating, whether or not the person is physically in front of you or not. The first two posts nailed it for me. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359/11 "2010-12-25T21:08:03Z")
> [@lisacurl](#): > > Tweetheart, my ass. Emotional cheating is emotional cheating, whether or not the person is physically in front of you or not. 100% Agreed. 'Tis emotional cheating. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359/12 "2010-12-25T22:38:13Z")
I entered this thread prepared to tear into anyone who would say this isn’t cheating. Seems like common sense is prevailing here. I guess I can put the belt away. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2010, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-tweethearts-cheating/565359/13 "2010-12-25T23:20:21Z")
Cheating. Betrayal is emotional, not just physical.