# Do we need friends? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [October 1, 2016, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-need-friends/767434 "2016-10-01T23:49:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-need-friends/767434/21 "2016-10-02T01:34:13Z")
So no one told you life was gonna be this way. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s D-O-A. It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear, or when it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year. ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-need-friends/767434/22 "2016-10-02T02:40:56Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I think we need social relationships to be mentally and emotionally well. > > But I think the basic minimum amount of intimacy needed for wellness varies tremendously across individuals. Some people need lots of close friends to be happy. Others only need one or two close friends. Some people are fine with lots of acquaintances and casuals friends and no intimates. And a small number people would be okay just as long as someone says hello to them on occasion. > > I think the internet has made social isolation a more tolerable experience than it used to be. People who might have had very little contact with the inner lives of others just ten or fifteen years ago are now able to find their special group and find folks who can relate to them. Ultimately, I think the basic thing people look for in social interactions is a feeling of being understood and valued. So it may be that the typical loner twenty years ago tended to be quite miserable simply because it was harder for them to ever feel understood and valued. But nowadays, you can be a friendless loner but not be quite so alienated from everyone else. There are ways to be social now–like posting on message boards–without actually dealing with the downsides of people. I think this fact alone will have a positive effect on the longevity of the asocial. There are some who make a case for face to face interaction, so I’m guessing that online interaction with others isn’t enough. But that still doesn’t really answer the question as to why that data claims negative effects for no friends. It also doesn’t answer if it really is the no friends that causes those risks or societal pressure to fit in. ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-need-friends/767434/23 "2016-10-02T02:45:05Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > The non-Vulcans among us do. Wait, sorry, there’s Spock. > > The non-androids among us do. Wait, sorry, there’s Data. > > The non-sociopaths among us do. Take me. I’m happily married, but there’s stuff I need to talk about with someone who is not my wife. I might need to complain about her, as she is not perfect. So there’s my best friend from college (also happily married). There’s stuff won’t understand, not through a lack of inelligence but through a lack of context or experience; for that there’s my work wife. And there’s others. > > Apart from that there are practical considerations. I am legally blind and so I cannot drive. There are times when it’s not practical for my wife to take me where I need tp gp. and when I don’t want to use Uber or whatnot. But because I am friends with Jennifer and Tony and Janet and Henry, because I have done solids for them in the past both emotionally and practically, I have people to help me to do things I can no longer do myself without assistance. > > There are human beings who don’t need friends. They’re called lonely, self-deluded freaks. Seems like there reason people keep others around is to do stuff for them. Kind of like a maid or a butler. I’m not really buying the emotional aspect of it as that might just be an effect of social pressure to have friends to avoid seeming like an outcast, as well as the promise that friends bring happiness. I wouldn’t call such beings self deluded or otherwise. Maybe they know something we don’t. Seems like a boon really to cooperate and interact with others but not requiring to have close bonds. The close bonds aspect seems like more of a weakness then a strength. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-need-friends/767434/24 "2016-10-02T02:50:01Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > So no one told you life was gonna be this way. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s D-O-A. It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear, or when it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year. I’ll be there for you… 🙂 What, no Friends? What did Monica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey did to you? ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-need-friends/767434/25 "2016-10-02T03:06:06Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > I’ll be there for you… > > 🙂 > > What, no Friends? What did Monica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey did to you? I’m obviously not referring to the tv show ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-need-friends/767434/26 "2016-10-02T03:11:58Z")
> [@Machinaforce](#): > > I’m obviously not referring to the tv show The TV show? You mean _Super Friends_? ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-need-friends/767434/27 "2016-10-02T03:46:40Z")
> [@Machinaforce](#): > > I have heard the many sugary stories about how we “need” them but is it true? I mean obviously humans have to socialize with each other and cooperate but do we really need to take it further than that? This topic, as presented, appears to have been better suited to IMHO than to Great Debates. For an actual debate, one would expect to see references to information or evidence provided by psychologists, sociologists, or even philosophers. This is more of an IMHO poll thread. However, since this thread’s odd placement and lack of initial substance have already resulted in too many dismissive challenges with little to no discussion, rather than moving it to IMHO, I am closing it. [/Moderating] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-need-friends/767434.md?page=1)