# Do we really need to spend federal money to investigate Janet Jackson's tit? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [February 2, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232 "2004-02-02T22:14:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/1 "2004-02-02T22:14:35Z")
Yes, yet another thread that has something to do with Ms. Jackson’s mammary. I was wondering if anybody thinks this is useful way to spend our tax money: [http://apnews.excite.com/article/20040202/D80FAORG0.html](http://apnews.excite.com/article/20040202/D80FAORG0.html) > [@](#): > > The chief federal regulator of broadcasting said Monday he was outraged by the Super Bowl halftime show in which Justin Timberlake tore off part of Janet Jackson’s costume, exposing her breast, and said he was ordering an immediate investigation. > > [snip] > > In a statement, Powell said, “I am outraged at what I saw during the halftime show of the Super Bowl. Like millions of Americans, my family and I gathered around the television for a celebration. Instead, that celebration was tainted by a classless, crass and deplorable stunt. Our nation’s children, parents and citizens deserve better.” > > He told the commission to open an investigation, promising it would be “thorough and swift.” Such an investigation could result in a fine of up to $27,500 or - if the FCC applied the sanction to each CBS station - in the millions. Is this a function we really need from government in the 21st century? ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/2 "2004-02-02T22:28:08Z")
If it gets our attention off the current administration’s intelligence failures long enough to get Bush reelected, it’s money well spent. From someone’s perspective, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/3 "2004-02-02T22:31:36Z")
How much will the investigation cost? How much will the fines be? If the fines are more than the investigation costs, how can you claim we are spending federal money? ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/4 "2004-02-02T22:33:21Z")
Oh geez - the rest of the world _already_ thinks we’re prudes; this is just what we need. We’re starting to make the Taliban look liberal. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/5 "2004-02-02T22:33:32Z")
I bet the investigation will cost more than $27,500. Even if CBS is fined “millions,” I don’t know that it’ll recoup the expenses. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/6 "2004-02-02T22:35:37Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I bet the investigation will cost more than $27,500. Even if CBS is fined “millions,” I don’t know that it’ll recoup the expenses. If it’ll help, I’d be glad to investigate Janet Jackson’s tit for free. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/7 "2004-02-02T22:38:10Z")
I, for one, believe the measures proposed do not go far enough; militaty force must be used. Unless U.S. forces are called in to quell the unrest in Janet Jackson’s left tit, the situation will only escalate until it reaches unmanageable proportions. It may achieve uncoverabilty, and so remain for the foreseeable future. Sadly, it will be up to our children to undo the problems caused by our failure to act in the tit region. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/8 "2004-02-02T22:38:41Z")
Absolutely. Clearly, there was an intelligence failure here. Can anyone doubt that if John Ashcroft had known of the imminent threat of mammary exposure, he would have acted premptively? Does anyone really think its merely a coincidence that her pervo brother is recently guarded by the Nation of Islam, while she stealthily seeks to undermine the moral purity of our nation’s youth? How many potential soldiers are lost to us, thier marksmanship permanently impaired by self abuse? Why, there must be literally _hundreds_ of adolescent males who have never been exposed to such! Well, OK, maybe a couple of dozen. Thanks Heavens our Beloved Leader was spared such a spectacle! (“I missed it – again.”) And, of course, the burning issue that remains yet unspoken - that metal star thingy- glued on, stapled, or what? If we move swiftly to name a bi-partisan, bi-sexual, and multi-racial committee to investigate, we may have results by 2007. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/9 "2004-02-02T22:42:59Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I bet the investigation will cost more than $27,500. Even if CBS is fined “millions,” I don’t know that it’ll recoup the expenses. Really? This seems like a simple investigation. What about it do you believe could approach even a single million in cost? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/10 "2004-02-02T22:45:57Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > If the fines are more than the investigation costs, how can you claim we are spending federal money? Certainly it’s possible that there will be no fines, and hence be a total loss. They generally can’t know that before the investigation, can they? And if it did pay for itself via fines, do we want a parasitic federal agency feeding off of nudity and swear words like some kind of wierd lamprey? But regardless of whether or not they break even, is this a function you want the government to perform? Correct me if I’m wrong, but my impression was that you are a conservative. I thought most conservatives wanted less government. Am I wrong that this is something you want, or do you think a valuable or necessary service is being provided? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/11 "2004-02-02T22:46:41Z")
First of all, that’s $27,500 per station that aired the offending material. So, that fine could be issued against every CBS affiliate in the country that aired the half time show. And it shouldn’t cost that much to investigate. The halftime show was a pretty clear violation of 47 CFR 73.3999: > [@](#): > > (a) No licensee of a radio or television broadcast station shall broadcast any material which is obscene. > (b) No licensee of a radio or television broadcast station shall broadcast > on any day between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. any material which is indecent. and I’m sure somebody over there taped the halftime show. Besides, most of the costs of this are fixed…the people in the Enforcement Bureau are going to get paid whether they investigate this or not. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/12 "2004-02-02T22:47:08Z")
Could it be that the pre-game intelligence was not “sexed-up” enough? Having seen the episode shown about a million times on CNN today, I guess I’d like to ask Mr Timberlake: What was SUPPOSED to happen when you ripped off her top? ---
**Author:** ![Voodoochile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/898d66/32.png) [@Voodoochile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voodoochile)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/13 "2004-02-02T22:49:02Z")
He said: > [@](#): > > “Our nation’s children, parents and citizens deserve better.” Does he mean it should have been a nicer looking one? Or that our nation’s children, parents and citizens all deserve better ones like hers? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/14 "2004-02-02T22:53:40Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Certainly it’s possible that there will be no fines, and hence be a total loss. They generally can’t know that before the investigation, can they? > > And if it did pay for itself via fines, do we want a parasitic federal agency feeding off of nudity and swear words like some kind of wierd lamprey? But regardless of whether or not they break even, is this a function you want the government to perform? I believe that, by law, the FCC is required to investigate every complaint that comes before it. And feeding off nudity and swear words like a weird lamprey is what the Commission does. Between fines for violating Commission Rules, and regulatory and application fees, the FCC is one of the few governmental departments that takes in more money than it spends each year. Here, ladies and gentlemen, is the home of the FCC Enforcement Bureau, who investigate violations of FCC broadcast rules, among other things (they’re also the ones enforcing the Do Not Call List): > **[Enforcement](https://www.fcc.gov/enforcement)** > > The Enforcement Bureau (EB) is the primary FCC unit responsible for enforcing the provisions of the Communications Act, the Commission's rules, orders, and various licensing terms and conditions. EB's mission is to investigate and respond quickly to... ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/15 "2004-02-02T22:56:27Z")
While this is three posts in a row, I’ll also point out that, because the FCC investigates obscenity and profanity, and because they routinely publish transcripts of the offending material, the FCC Record probably wins the award for raunchiest government publication. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/16 "2004-02-02T23:06:59Z")
Mark my words, Janet Jackson’s bosom (the right one anyway) is a **GROWING THREAT**. \*i.e., it might just become a threat of something sometime, maybe, I guess. It must be dealt with now. There is no time to seek UN approval or send in inspectors. Better we should eliminate this **Boob related activity** in Houston before we have to confront it in the streets of St. Louis. When this country is subjected to a great soft mass of mammary tissue there will be no advance warning. It will be on us without time to react like … like a strayed bozooooom on a TV football half time show. What we need, and need now, is an independent investigation of the failure to anticipate this wanton out break of partial nudity. We can spare no expense…as long as the report comes in after the election. Then we can stand up proud of our country in the bright light of a new dawn for America, resplendent with a thousand points of light, and say Bring It On…sorry, we can proudly say Mission Accomplished. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/17 "2004-02-02T23:09:44Z")
> [@John Mace](#): > > Having seen the episode shown about a million times on CNN today, I guess I’d like to ask Mr Timberlake: What was SUPPOSED to happen when you ripped off her top? WAG: Given that it was a halftime show in Texas, probably sky rockets and a Blue Angles fly over. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/18 "2004-02-02T23:14:55Z")
A tempest in a D-cup and the FCC wants to make a federal case out of it. Scratch the violence we see on free-to-air TV because that’s OK. But show a female breast and things get ugly real fast. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/19 "2004-02-02T23:19:22Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > How much will the investigation cost? > > How much will the fines be? > > If the fines are more than the investigation costs, how can you claim we are spending federal money? No, then it would be a waste of private money. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232/20 "2004-02-02T23:23:19Z")
> [@Spavined Gelding](#): > > Mark my words, Janet Jackson’s bosom (the right one anyway) is a **GROWING THREAT**. My aides have informed me that, contrary to my eariler position, it is indeed the right tit in question. I apologize for the error, as I am titslexic. Nevertheless, if not dealt with in a timely manner, the situation will doubtless spread to the left breast. If left unchecked until the next Super Bowl, by this time next year her whole damn ass be hanging out, or “Lopezed”, in the parlance. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-we-really-need-to-spend-federal-money-to-investigate-janet-jacksons-tit/227232.md?page=2)