# Do women break up more decisively than men?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-break-up-more-decisively-than-men/839021>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [August 21, 2019, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-break-up-more-decisively-than-men/839021 "2019-08-21T20:31:14Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Esprise\_Me](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprise_me/32/2947_2.png) [@Esprise\_Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprise_Me)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2019, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-break-up-more-decisively-than-men/839021/41 "2019-08-26T17:56:29Z")

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Even if it’s true that women can find casual sex partners more easily than men, it doesn’t follow that men alone have a sex-based incentive to stay in or go back to a bad relationship. First, as has already been pointed out, women are significantly less likely to orgasm during an encounter. A partner who knows what you like is more of a bonus for a woman. Second, casual hookups are much more dangerous for women than for men. If a man is courageous enough to face rejection, he can walk away from his incompatible girlfriend and just keep trying to get laid until someone says yes. A risk-averse woman who doesn’t want to be celibate has fewer options.

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**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2019, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-break-up-more-decisively-than-men/839021/42 "2019-08-26T18:01:56Z")

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I keep reading this one as “Do women break up more _derisively_ than men?”

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**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2019, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-break-up-more-decisively-than-men/839021/43 "2019-08-26T19:48:11Z")

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In my experience women are always very decisive at the time (they are “checked out,” been unhappy for a long time, have at least 1 other guy waiting for the rebound) but they always come back - IF I don’t beg them to. When I go on with my life and focus on my health, they eventually reach out (be it 2 months or 2 years later) and at least make overtures (ranging from calling with a “come over and f me” to “we should get married and have a baby” some time after telling me I was the most evil worst person and lover ever) about getting back together in some form. At low points I take them up on that offer but when I’m truly healthy I’m over it and doing better and now in the driver’s seat to make that decision and decline.

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**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2019, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-break-up-more-decisively-than-men/839021/44 "2019-08-26T20:14:48Z")

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> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#):
>
> I think your “A” is a bit odd, since the entire thread is about people ending relationships, not hookups. (If you were discussing hookups then your logic is extremely tenuous, since the notion that women are as interested in hookups as men seems very dubious, and at any rate can’t be just blithely assumed. But I don’t think the thread is about hookups to begin with.)

> [@TruCelt](#):
>
> Nonsense. If a woman wants to get laid, she can go to a bar and find a partner. It is much, much harder for men. I do agree that finding a long-term partner is equally difficult.

If you think the second quoted statement, which is the one I quoted in the post of mine that prompted you to reply to me, is referring to dating rather than hookups even though it clearly uses the phrase ‘get laid’ and contrasts it to ‘finding a long-term partner’, then I think discussion with you on the topic will not lead anywhere interesting. Continue your attempts to nitpick ‘approximately’ if you like though.

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**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2019, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-break-up-more-decisively-than-men/839021/45 "2019-08-26T20:24:11Z")

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> [@Esprise\_Me](#):
>
> Even if it’s true that women can find casual sex partners more easily than men, it doesn’t follow that men alone have a sex-based incentive to stay in or go back to a bad relationship.

In addition to your points, finding casual sex partners and forming longer-lasting relationships are two loosely related but very different goals. Even if we accept that as a given (which I don’t, since people of any sex can engage a member of The Oldest Profession), casual sex doesn’t actually provide the benefits that a dating relationship does, there are large numbers of people who want only one but not the other, and for very few people is the primary benefit of a dating relationship purely sex.

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**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\
**Post date:** [August 26, 2019, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-break-up-more-decisively-than-men/839021/46 "2019-08-26T20:31:48Z")

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> [@Pantastic](#):
>
> If you think the second quoted statement, which is the one I quoted in the post of mine that prompted you to reply to me, is referring to dating rather than hookups even though it clearly uses the phrase ‘get laid’ and contrasts it to ‘finding a long-term partner’, then I think discussion with you on the topic will not lead anywhere interesting.

I responded to (& quoted) your post #28, which was a response to Velocity and not to TruCelt. Velocity’s post (#27) was about “find[ing] a mate”, and not about hookups.

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