# Do women kill kittens? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 6, 2004, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836 "2004-10-06T13:31:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Thinks2Much](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Thinks2Much](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thinks2Much)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/21 "2004-10-06T17:02:48Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > I take it for granted that most women I know masturbate (I know I do, and I’m happily married to a man whose sex drive is equal to mine), but I see no reason to talk about it with other women, or even my husband. > > Unless I’m missing something, there’s not a lot to say about it other than “do you?” “Yeah. You?” “Yup.” “Okay then.” I don’t think anyone who talks about it does so to talk about technique. It is more about talking about interesting things that might have happened to you as it relates to that - such as getting interrupted or talking about how you might have done so for an out of the ordinary reason. If anyone wanted to talk about such gross details, they wouldn’t need euphemisms. I think the last time a friend mentioned it to me, he said he had gone to a forest preserve on lunch break, sitting alone in his truck - decided what the hell, but then his boss showed up and parked next to him! Stuff like that. Within the context of a romantic relationship, I do really like to talk about it, but again, not technique but THOUGHT process. I think it is fun to share stuff like “so since I couldn’t see you last night, I replayed this or that memory of the two of us for my 11 o’clock…” and so on. It is fun to get inside the other person’s head and know what they think about, gives a whole new kind of intimacy. ---
**Author:** ![hybrid\_dogfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@hybrid\_dogfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hybrid_dogfish)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/22 "2004-10-06T17:23:25Z")
[Every time a woman masturbates, God gives the world a puppy. Please, Think of the puppies.](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v46/dogshark/womanmast.bmp) ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/23 "2004-10-06T17:48:04Z")
Only if we rub too hard. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/24 "2004-10-06T18:46:25Z")
Everytime a kitten masturbates, I kill a God. ---
**Author:** ![RumMunkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@RumMunkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RumMunkey)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/25 "2004-10-06T18:58:01Z")
> [@](#): > > I have to agree with this. I mean, I have talked about it in only the most abstract terms, but that was when I found my roommate’s erotica under our couch. I picked it up, thinking, “Oh, ‘Black Lace’. I’ve never heard of this series! Maybe if it looks like a good read, I’ll borrow it.” So I started paging through it, and my eyes got wider and wider. My roommate walked in and said, “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to leave that here. Do you want to borrow it? I have lots more.” She looked really embarrassed, but I had to ask - “Urm… Do you, you know?” She kinda blushed and said, “Well, yeah.” And I said, “Oh, thank God. Me, too. I thought I was abnormal.” She laughed and said, “Hey, feel free to borrow a book anytime.” I thanked her, handed her book back and went on my merry way. [Dear Penthouse…](http://www.evilmonkey.tv/downloads/quagmirethrust.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/26 "2004-10-06T19:39:17Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Everytime a woman masturbates, God makes a rainbow. Last time I was out on a field exercise, I saw a beautiful, ground-to-ground, complete double rainbow. Some lucky lady must have had one _hell_ of a time with the little man in the boat. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/27 "2004-10-06T21:40:49Z")
[QUOTE=Thinks2Much] … my euphemism is my “11 o’clock appointment”, or just “11 o’clock”. …QUOTE] I used to call it Teletubbie time. When my daughter was little I used to work evenings and the only alone time I could get was when Teletubbies were on. We have moved beyond that now, as she goes to school part time. I now kill kittens. ---
**Author:** ![CheapBastid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CheapBastid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheapBastid)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/28 "2004-10-06T22:29:56Z")
I seem to remember seeing the term ‘_killing puppies_’ when referencing female masturbation, but I like the rainbow creation story. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/29 "2004-10-06T22:33:12Z")
It’s a good thing I’m a dog person. 😛 The only time I really talked about “IT” with another girl was when I was about 15 or 16 and I met this psycho girl and we started talking about masturbating and figured out that (at the time) we both preferred to masturbate through cloth, preferably lace! My (girl) friend was looking at me as though I had gone completely off the deep end. Since then, not many conversions about petting the kitty. ---
**Author:** ![Live\_Better\_Electrically](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@Live\_Better\_Electrically](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Live_Better_Electrically)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/30 "2004-10-07T00:09:55Z")
I’ve heard female masturbation referred to as “diddling,” which is interesting considering that the dictionary definition of _diddle_ is to “to waste time or dawdle,” and the male equivalent–“jacking off”–has acquired a similar meaning. ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/31 "2004-10-07T01:30:18Z")
I’ve come to calling it _pestering the gondolier_. And I, too, have seen the puppy analogy used… on Fark, for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/32 "2004-10-07T01:41:41Z")
I just say masturbate. Though sometimes if I feel like being unbearably cutesy, I say that I’m going to amuse myself. My female friends and I talk about masturbating and sex fairly openly. ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/33 "2004-10-07T01:59:29Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Everytime a woman masturbates, God makes a rainbow. Only if a guy is watching… ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/34 "2004-10-07T02:31:51Z")
My goodness, there really is a [webcomic](http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp01122004.shtml) for every topic. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/35 "2004-10-07T02:36:06Z")
> [@TheOnlySaneOne](#): > > My goodness, there really is a [webcomic](http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp01122004.shtml) for every topic. 😃 I think I know those girls! But I’m not friends with them. ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/36 "2004-10-07T02:59:20Z")
When I was in highschool we called it “doing the dishes.” That made it really awkward if someone called and you were actually doing the dishes. We also used to call it making soup but that is extremely gross so pretend I didn’t say it. I don’t think kittens should masturbate ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/37 "2004-10-07T04:01:18Z")
> [@hybrid\_dogfish](#): > > [Every time a woman masturbates, God gives the world a puppy. Please, Think of the puppies.](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v46/dogshark/womanmast.bmp) “_Oh, Dog! Oh, Dog! Oh, Dog! Oh, Dog! Ooooooohhhhhhhhh Yeeesssssssss!_” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/38 "2004-10-07T04:35:24Z")
Did anyone else have a flashback to that scene in _Pleasantville_ where the tree bursts into flame? Oh, my goodness! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/39 "2004-10-07T04:45:12Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > And being fictional, God’s not going to do anything to discourage women from masturbating. > > So there you go, finally something all religions and Atheism can agree on: women should masturbate! Amen! Let me go “_prey_” now! 🙂 heheheh ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836/40 "2004-10-07T20:04:17Z")
Doesn’t the horseradish _sting?_ Sorry, wrong thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-kill-kittens/267836.md?page=3)