# Do women \*like\* the creepy romantic stalker genre? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 5, 2019, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027 "2019-02-05T21:23:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hermione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cdc98d/32.png) [@Hermione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermione)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2019, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/41 "2019-02-07T16:56:22Z")
> [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > Hell, you could consider Beatrice and Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing to also fill this role. It’s not stalker-esque but it would bear a lot of the same hallmarks. Mmmm…I’m not sure I’d really put Beatrice and Benedick in this category. Duke Orsino and Olivia from Twelfth Night, perhaps (and they end up with other partners anyway) or Romeo and his first crush Rosaline, but not really B & B. Beatrice and Benedick are hinted to have had some kind of relationship before, but he skipped out on her. (“Indeed, my lord, he lent [his heart to] me awhile, and I gave him use for it, a double heart for his single one. Marry, once before he won it of me with false dice.”) The Joss Whedon version expands on this in its first scene. It’s obvious they have feelings for each other, but their pride and past history is getting in the way of their opening up to each other again. Since Benedick is always making “cuckold” jokes, perhaps he’s observed infidelity before, and won’t let himself trust anyone enough to make a fool of him–hence his breaking things off with Beatrice before. For her part, Beatrice, having been burned by him before, won’t give him the chance again, no matter how she feels. Once their friends have intervened and put on their little show, they feel sure of each other’s feelings and can admit their own. So I don’t think that’s an example of the genre discussed here (which I’m not crazy about myself). ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2019, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/42 "2019-02-07T17:32:09Z")
And regardless of whatever history there was between Beatrice and Benedick, before the trickery by their friends, they’re _both_ resisting. Neither can be said to be “stalking” or “wearing down” the other. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2019, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/43 "2019-02-08T09:34:38Z")
> [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > Surely it goes back further than that. Shakespeare? Chaucer? The “persistent romantic” goes back to ancient times, but for full-on batshit dysfunctionality you need Heathcliff and Cathy. And yet Heathcliff is considered a romantic hero. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2019, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/44 "2019-02-08T10:33:29Z")
> [@planetcory](#): > > Thought this post was about [‘You’ on Netflix](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7335184/), which is currently extremely popular. That’s exactly what I thought. It’s apparently pretty popular and has been picked up for another season. I read the description and decided it wasn’t for me. On Facebook all my friends that have touted it as a good series have been women. Hardly a scientific sampling but the results are 100%. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2019, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/45 "2019-02-08T10:38:44Z")
Looking at some articles I just found out “You” was originally on Lifetime so it falls in line with the movies that were being discussed. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2019, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/46 "2019-02-08T14:32:50Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Ever been stalked? If you have, the answer is “HELL, NO!” Pretty much this … I was stalked off and on for almost 25 years, and though the guy is now dead I still get triggered if I see someone who looks like him, or hear certain sounds or phrases and I can’t tolerate a couple aftershaves. Though obviously enough people like the genre to make it reasonably popular … ---
**Author:** ![Bibliothecarius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b2d939/32.png) [@Bibliothecarius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliothecarius)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2019, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/47 "2019-02-09T10:38:27Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > A variety, i.e., Twilight, 50 Shades, etc. - but there was also one in particular I can’t recall the name of, a chick flick involving Drew Barrymore, where a male suitor dangles by one hand from a height and threatens to fall to his death unless Barrymore’s character goes out with him. It doesn’t involve Drew Barrymore but I believe you are thinking of [_The Notebook_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gDTFygaSws), widely regarded by many women as one of the most romantic movies of all time.\* \*At least, by two former (female) roommates of mine, who would literally cry every time they watched it as it was just “so sad and romantic.” The internet tells me they’re not the only ones. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2019, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/48 "2019-02-09T15:29:44Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > No, women do not like the creepy stalker genre. That’s an awfully broad brush. I won’t say a majority – or even a sizeable minority – of women like it, but it’s not _all_ women who don’t like it or it wouldn’t be put out. “I don’t understand it, Larry. We printed 10,000 copies of _The Man who Stalked Me_ and the bookstores returned 9,960 of them.” > [@Trafalgar\_Laura](#): > > Pornography seems like a fair comparison. I’m a little puzzled why 50 Shades wasn’t considered to be porn by more people, based on the excerpts I’d read. It seems to have a lot of intense description of fetishy sex, and not a lot of artistic merit outside of that… When I came into work one morning, the cube of the guy next to me was festooned with dozens of half-sheets of paper with a large number (357 IIRC) on it as some sort of prank. When he came in a few hours later, he stopped, and sighed on seeing them. I popped up and asked what the significance of the number was. “Um… It’s a page in _50 Shades of Gray_.” \ “No further questions.” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2019, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/49 "2019-02-09T15:45:51Z")
> [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > Frequently, this is presented - and it’s popular - as a person showing romantic interest in another - both men and women - and being rejected but through persistence wearing down the focus person’s resistance and eventually winning them over. It can be friend-oriented but very often is romantic and ends with the couple being happily involved. _Groundhog Day_ ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2019, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/50 "2019-02-10T14:09:07Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > A lot of people consider only visual porn to be “real” porn, and erotic literature to somehow fall outside that scope. Well, the etymology of “pornography” is literally “pictures of prostitutes”, it was a genre of Greek vases. I think if it doesn’t include pictures it’s “erotica”, not “pornography”. > [@Gatopescado](#): > > _Groundhog Day_ That was a good movie, but I didn’t even remember the romantic angle until you brought it up. He tries to re-do and improve everything in his life. And that’s more a do-over than stalking. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2019, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/51 "2019-02-10T16:38:47Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Well, the etymology of “pornography” is literally “pictures of prostitutes”, it was a genre of Greek vases. I think if it doesn’t include pictures it’s “erotica”, not “pornography”. > > That was a good movie, but I didn’t even remember the romantic angle until you brought it up. He tries to re-do and improve everything in his life. And that’s more a do-over than stalking. Well, he starts off being manipulative (for a long time and with at least one other woman), using prior knowledge to build up a fake common ground. It isn’t until after he becomes sincere in his love that he’s allowed to proceed with his life. ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2019, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/52 "2019-02-10T18:18:56Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > That was a good movie, but I didn’t even remember the romantic angle until you brought it up. He tries to re-do and improve everything in his life. And that’s more a do-over than stalking. Much of the second act is him creepily stalking Andie MacDowell, freely and out in the open since he doesn’t have to worry about any consequences. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2019, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/53 "2019-02-10T19:18:30Z")
Won’t somebody think of all the poor black cats that somehow accidentally get a white stripe painted down their backs? ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2019, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/54 "2019-02-11T03:19:57Z")
It is almost definitely connected to rape fantasy, an extremely common sexual fantasy, especially among women. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2022, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/55 "2022-01-27T00:03:51Z")
Not really romantic, but Rupert Pupkin did some fine stalking, and since women go crazy for the dedicated type… ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2022, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027/56 "2022-01-27T00:09:23Z")
I think the difference between movies and real life is the viewer knows the stalker guy is really just a clueless lovable goof. In real life this isn’t knowable. So the default position, and rightly so, is the stalker guy is just a creep. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-like-the-creepy-romantic-stalker-genre/829027.md?page=2)