# Do women still prohibit themselves from asking for dates, etc? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 12, 2000, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280 "2000-07-12T06:05:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/1 "2000-07-12T06:05:32Z")
Or is it just me? A lot of us may remember “Sadie Hawkins Day” back in high school which was the _one_ day when it was OK for a girl to ask a guy out. At all other times it was “inapproriate” for females to call or approach males, even for a dance. I’ve never understood this. It’s like the whole thing was designed to prevent people from getting together. Some say the man wants to be “in control”, but the fact that I’ll probably wind up embarrassed if I stick my neck hardly amounts to control. There are many reasons why it would be easier for women to do the asking. Guys have a hard time seeing themselves in the eyes of a particular woman, but all guys look at women the same. So my question to the women is, have you finally discarded this nonsense and taken some initiative, or is asking a guy for a date or to dance still out of the question? ---
**Author:** ![Commander\_Fortune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Commander\_Fortune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Commander_Fortune)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/2 "2000-07-12T07:15:34Z")
Personally, I’ll ask out any person I find interesting, attractive, or both. The worst that can happen is that you might get rejected by a complete stranger. Since they don’t really know me, how can I take their rejection personally? Seems like a worthwhile risk to me. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/3 "2000-07-12T09:23:40Z")
I’m nineteen years old and I have never felt any pressure not to ask guys out on dates or that sort of thing. About half of the time the guys ask the girls and about half the time the girls ask the guys. So yes, as far as I know, we have given up that nonesence. ---
**Author:** ![tcburnett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@tcburnett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tcburnett)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/4 "2000-07-12T10:41:10Z")
My girlfriend tells me that women ‘like to be pursued’. I have only 53 years’ experience, so I have no idea what any given woman will do next. The same girlfriend routinely calls me on the phone demanding an immediate service call which it is my pleasure to provide. But then she goes back to being coy again. “It’s a woman thing” she says. I hope all women feel free to do whatever they like, including asking for dates and sex. ---
**Author:** ![tamster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@tamster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tamster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/5 "2000-07-12T14:10:49Z")
I do, that is prohibit myself. But I’m married. When I was single, I asked a younger guy out who had, I thought, been showing interest in me. I was wrong. He was recently seperated from wife, living with his sister and having the time of his life. He wasn’t smiling all the time because of me, he was just sh#tfaced happy. Anyway, I pretty much felt like an idiot. I can’t remember ever asking anyone else out before or since. It must be terribly hard on the sensitive guys and gals out there. Those old questions: Does he like me? Will she say no? Gotta try if you think it may be worth it. The guy I asked out, I relealized not because I liked him, but because I thought he liked me. I was always incredibly shy toward men I really liked, and would rather cut off my right hand than to talk to 'em. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/6 "2000-07-12T14:39:48Z")
This question is better addressed in In My Humble Opinion. Unless, of course, one of you ladies is contemplating asking _me_ for a date. Then, [manhattan91@hotmail.com](mailto:manhattan91@hotmail.com) will do just fine, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/7 "2000-07-12T14:47:37Z")
There is no set plan for all the women in the world. Some ask guys out & some expect guys to ask them out. Women were not created from on mold. From my experience, 80% of the time the woman asks me to do something with her. ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/8 "2000-07-12T14:56:08Z")
hey, if any of you ladies feel like breaking tradition, i’m single and perfect to ask out on a date. absolutely. i won’t even say no. so no fear of rejection. go ahead, practice your hearts away. ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/9 "2000-07-12T18:43:54Z")
I’m not at all surprised that out of the seven respondents thusfar, the two that actively solicited for dates are guys from NYC (Manhattan & Soulsling). Goes to prove what I’ve long known: being a single guy in this city SUCKS! BTW, if you’re a single female and find this post particularly intriguing, you might want to note my email address below… ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/10 "2000-07-12T18:55:03Z")
hahahaha - I’ve had lots experience making the DC-NYC dating commute - My theory is that all the cute, single, non-asexual boys live in NY, not D.C. In D.C. they seem to all be asexual geeks with man-boobs and weird badges that they wear around their necks because of their jobs. They are either khaki-wearing government workers or polo-shirt wearing Helpdesk employees. Hot single men - if you want to meet lots of smart single beautiful women, come to our nation’s capital. They are waiting for you here! Seriously, if I like a guy, I’ll ask him to do something innocuous, like getting coffee or a drink after work or going to some sort of free or outdoor thing - go to the park, go to a free concert, etc. That way if one or both parties want to pretend that it’s not a date, it’s easy to keep up the facade of casualness. If he wants it to be a date, it can be a date, and then it’s up to him to ask me on a real date - dinner, theater, (but never dinner-theater!), movie - something in the evening. I think there is something to the whole idea of “man as aggressor” with real dates. I want a man to go out with me because he really likes me, not just because I made it convenient for him by asking. I guess I need that little confirmation that they are desirable. But it’s not a hard and fast rule - sometimes boldness pays. So will all of you go out with me? Go Greyhound! ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/11 "2000-07-12T19:02:48Z")
Maggie, darlin’, no need to (AHEM) Go Greyhound. I’ve got my own wheels, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/12 "2000-07-12T19:08:58Z")
Ah yes…I had forgotten that there are other guys in NY besides the poor (but hot!) graduate student. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/13 "2000-07-12T19:17:19Z")
I have never in my life been approached or asked out by a woman. I always thought it was the tradition thing but after reading all the women who posted in this thread, maybe it’s just me :^( ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/14 "2000-07-12T19:49:25Z")
Call me old-fashioned, but I would never ask a man out, even for the Sadie Hawkins’ dances we had in high school. I think dating/courtship is one area where we should keep the old roles, and let men be men. I think men today tend to be very timid and passive. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/15 "2000-07-12T22:20:19Z")
Both my first and current wife asked me out. That probably says something about me, but… ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/16 "2000-07-13T00:49:46Z")
I’m big on the whole guys asking me out deal. While I may seem like a pretty confident happy individual, such confidence fails instantly upon even considering making my own moves. I’m getting better though. I think. Relationships for me have a habit of happening, no ceremony, no dates, just a sudden revelation that _this is right_ for both of us. I’m awful at the whole game part of it. ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/17 "2000-07-13T02:36:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > Hot single men - if you want to meet lots of smart single beautiful women, come to our nation’s capital. They are waiting for you here! Y’know, I’d been thinking about moving to DC for some time now… ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/18 "2000-07-13T07:02:59Z")
From my experiences, it seems like most girls hint at wanting to be asked out yet wait for the guy to see if he is interested. However, this would contradict most of my past relationships as most, if not all, of the girls approached me and had their way with me (yes, I resisted for as long as I could… really… dammit). ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/19 "2000-07-13T13:03:26Z")
**drewbert** , i already have plans to move to DC for next september of 2001. I’m so there. Ladies of DC, get your garters on, i’m coming down there to take’em off. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280/20 "2000-07-13T14:48:42Z")
Soulsling, baby, I’ll be long gone by then. But you will have a great time here and this place needs you. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-women-still-prohibit-themselves-from-asking-for-dates-etc/25280.md?page=2)