# Do you ask people their age? Do you not like to answer that question yourself? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 14, 2006, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759 "2006-05-14T22:05:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![ShianeRochell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@ShianeRochell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShianeRochell)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/41 "2011-01-06T22:45:31Z")
To be truthful, I never think about asking a person’s age when I’m communicating with them. I will know whether or not I want to continue dialoging, and age not a factor. The most important thing to me is, are we on the same page. ``` As far as someone asking my age, I really don't mind as long as they're willing to accept my reply. (I'm not in the habit of revealing my age. It's like you're asking something that's personal to me.) First of all, I really do not look my age. And for someone to stop and ask me, I wonder what's their motive. Are they just wondering, or are they trying to set up a date or something? Secondly, why would this be important to the this person? Am I in an interview? Will our communication stop if I give the wrong answer? See what I mean? Just think, why would age mean anything at all if we're just getting to know one another? Is the person trying to come on to me and want to make sure I'm in his age group? Well, if that's the reason ( and it usually is), I know they will be history in my book. You see, I have my own ideas just the same as they have theirs. Therefore, if someone opens Pandora's box by asking my age, I know that they are not mature enough to use any more of my time. Doesn't matter to me how old they are, (as long as they're at least 21 or older), a conversation is just that. Why mess it up by digging and probing? Either I feel comfortable with the person or I don't. I can tell your level of intelligence no matter what the number of your age, and I never short-change myself by asking the age of anyone. ( Actually, I already have an idea, but it's not the most important thing in my book. Never know what I can learn from that person, or what they can learn from me. Well, that's how I really feel about that! Be Confident, ask, if you must, but don't be pushy about it. :cool: ``` ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/42 "2011-01-06T22:50:22Z")
Wow, talk about a zombie. What compelled you to resurrect this 4.5-year old thread? Oops, just outed its age. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/43 "2011-01-06T22:56:13Z")
> [@a\_10\_u\_us](#): > > I’ve discovered that, although I have no problem with my age, whenever people ask it they are always trying to argue soemething at my expense. Like they have more experience than me or I’m too old to be flirting with the waitress, or simply that I look younger or older than my age, always unflattering in the context. > So I never answer any more. They can’t make their point without a set number. Hmm. What’s wrong with letting people make the point they want to make? If it’s valid, it’s valid. If it’s not valid, you should be able to refute it on the basis of something beyond the number, right? ETA: I know it’s a “zombie.” This comment is for the general readership, not necessarily the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/44 "2011-01-07T00:03:05Z")
I don’t ask; I don’t tell. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/45 "2011-01-07T00:11:55Z")
I’m upfront about my age if I’m asked. I find this eases problems in dating situations. (Translation: lets the woman who may not be interested in a middle-aged guy (who desn’t act like it) out of there _fast!_) ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/46 "2011-01-07T01:42:02Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > I don’t think it matters, and you bring up a good point about it being used against you. (I’m 20, and that almost always works against me) > > So from now on I just won’t reveal it unless for some reason I absolutely have to. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. 🙂 Of course you’d say that. Now, once you have a little more life experience… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Terra1041](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Terra1041](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terra1041)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/47 "2011-01-07T02:35:27Z")
I’m 23 and I don’t mind if someone asks (and I’ll tell the truth). I rarely ask, only if it’s important. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/48 "2011-01-07T03:47:01Z")
I dont mind telling my age, but I very rarely ask, at least initially. People are often irritated by this question, especially women IME. In Japan this goes doubly-so, although strangely I`ve seen introductions on Japanese TV in an office setting where people incorporate their age as part of it. At least I am pretty sure I did… ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/49 "2011-01-07T04:13:21Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > I dont mind telling my age, but I very rarely ask, at least initially. People are often irritated by this question, especially women IME. In Japan this goes doubly-so, although strangely I`ve seen introductions on Japanese TV in an office setting where people incorporate their age as part of it. At least I am pretty sure I did… People may be annoyed by it, but every time you meet someone Japanese don’t you get asked that, as the foreigner? I know I do. Also, I was given to understand that people had to know exactly how old the members of their group were in order to determine pecking order. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/50 "2011-01-07T06:45:08Z")
> [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](#): > > People may be annoyed by it, but every time you meet someone Japanese don’t you get asked that, as the foreigner? I know I do. > > Also, I was given to understand that people had to know exactly how old the members of their group were in order to determine pecking order. Oh yeah, I do all the time. I ask them how old I look and make a fun game out of it. I`ve gotten as low as 24 and as high as 36 -\_-; And, I forgot about the pecking order thingy. Stating your age in a company setting makes perfect sense in that case. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/51 "2011-01-07T09:19:48Z")
I learned a long time ago that you guess someone’s age based on how old you think they want to be. In general, if they look like kids, you can safely guess something like 18 or 21. I’ve always wondered what to do when I can’t guess how old they want to look. Thanks for the idea to just guess horribly wrong. I’d still suggest guessing up for younger looking people, and down for older looking people, though. Oh, and I don’t mind. I’m always guessed to be closer to the age I want to be. I’m guessed younger now, and I was guessed older as a kid. Since I’ve had people PM me about my age, and I’ve revealed my birthday, that information is actually in my profile if you care. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/52 "2011-01-07T10:08:39Z")
> [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](#): > > Of course you’d say that. Now, once you have a little more life experience… > > 😃 Well, I said that 4 and a half years ago when this zombie thread was started. I’m not sure I’ve changed my mind though. Obviously it depends on the context. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/53 "2011-01-07T13:42:29Z")
> [@SurrenderDorothy](#): > > FIFTEEN. I’m fifteen. gah. I’ve been fifteen for two and a half weeks. Check out _this_ post! They grow up so quickly…sniffle. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mrs\_Johnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Mrs\_Johnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Johnson)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/54 "2011-01-10T04:26:58Z")
I rarely ask. I don’t care if people ask my age. They’re always surprised to learn that I’m 25. I could pass for 15. It’ll be nice when I’m 35 to look 25, but being constantly mistaken for a teenager gets old. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/55 "2011-01-10T05:42:42Z")
The only time I ask is in cyberspace. I also ask about native language. Its helpful to know what they know. IRL…i can tell by the lines on face if they will remember watching the space shuttle blow up. sorry people. I’ll pay better attention next time. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/56 "2011-01-10T07:26:23Z")
> [@Mrs\_Johnson](#): > > I rarely ask. > > I don’t care if people ask my age. They’re always surprised to learn that I’m 25. I could pass for 15. It’ll be nice when I’m 35 to look 25, but being constantly mistaken for a teenager gets old. :rolleyes: I’m 34 and I get people guessing my age as about 23 all the time. This comes up a lot lately as people keep asking me about my pregnancy and are shocked that I’m having my second. (Sidenote: I wouldn’t have thought having two kids by 23 was all that unusual - maybe not most people’s idea of desirable, but certainly far from unheard-of). I usually laugh and say I’m older than they think I am and if they ask, I’ll tell my age. It’s no big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/57 "2011-01-11T07:14:25Z")
I don’t generally ask unless it’s relevant. I don’t mind telling, but I have more fun letting people guess, because I’ve been guessed all over the map. I make sure to tell them they can’t offend me, and actually the further off they are in either direction, the funnier it is. But they usually guess low. 😃 And perhaps not surprisingly, I’m 43, for the record. ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/58 "2011-01-11T07:36:34Z")
I wouldn’t ask anyone I didn’t know – either as a friend or an acquaintance I’ve known for a while – and, even then, only out of curiosity as it might occur in a conversation. I know the age of all my friends, which is probably normal, and most people who hang out regularly at various bars I play music at – don’t know why, it just seems to come out in friendly conversation at some point or another. I get asked occasionally, but I’d assume that’s because I look five or six or even ten years older than I am and yet have younger interests than many gen-xers (I’m on the younger edge of generation x, as a bicentennial baby, but I don’t really know the delimiting boundary). ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/59 "2011-01-11T09:13:47Z")
In my case it tends to go like this: Someone: So how old are you? Me: 42 S: No way, you can’t be 42! Me: Well, let me think… yes, 42. S: No you can’t be 42! You’ve got to be about my age/about 30/mid-30s/about my daughter’s age! (It all usually ends up coming to “about 6 years younger than I really am”, going to “about 12 years younger” in the most extreme cases of blindness) Me: _whip out ID_ S: Wow. Oh wow… I always feel like blowing raspberries at them, when that dialogue takes place. I only ask people when it’s someone I’ve known for a while and it comes up in context. For example, they mention the year they finished college, or remembering some important event - and I never, ever accuse someone of lying about it or, if they don’t want to give it, insist that they must. And I accompany my question with an explanation of why I’m curious and with my own age (“oh, we must be of an age if that’s one of your first memories, I’m a '68 vintage”). ---
**Author:** ![Incref](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@Incref](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incref)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759/60 "2011-01-11T11:35:13Z")
I have no problem asking if it’s relevant to the conversation. Though when people ask I always get them to guess, I got 21 recently (yay!). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-ask-people-their-age-do-you-not-like-to-answer-that-question-yourself/356759.md?page=4)