# Do you believe in love at first sight? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 9, 2007, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288 "2007-04-09T09:45:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/21 "2007-04-09T16:34:30Z")
No, only lust. And I also believe that if you don’t believe in it, it can’t happen to you. I know that sounds like a circular argument, but if you stop and think about it, it’s very true - if your mind is set against it from the start, it ain’t happening. ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/22 "2007-04-09T16:34:45Z")
Love at first SIGHT, maybe not. But I can say from personal experience that one can fall in love after a first conversation. That something clicks just right that by the end of the first hour or so of conversation and hanging out that you’re absolutely entranced by her. More telling than that though is that the feeling stays with you for future meetings, but it’s definitely able to set in at first meeting ---
**Author:** ![Kalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/df705f/32.png) [@Kalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalypso)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/23 "2007-04-09T16:49:29Z")
[QUOTE=enigm4tic] Love at first SIGHT, maybe not. But I can say from personal experience that one can fall in love after a first conversation. That something clicks just right that by the end of the first hour or so of conversation and hanging out that you’re absolutely entranced by her. More telling than that though is that the feeling stays with you for future meetings, but it’s definitely able to set in at first meeting [/QUOTE] That’s precisely what I was going to say. When I met **Z. R.Test** the first time I was completely taken by his words. I also instantly felt a feeling like…when you do a particularly difficult jigsaw puzzle and you finally find that piece that snaps perfectly into place with that really odd shaped piece you couldn’t find the match for. ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/24 "2007-04-09T16:57:35Z")
[QUOTE=Blue Mood] Yes. I was lucky enough to experience it and am now married to the man. It’s more than lust - there’s something that just clicks and feels so right. [/QUOTE] I think that there can be an initial attraction (lust, infatuation, or a combination of the two - maybe ‘limerence’) that can leave many people feeling that ‘clicks and feels so right’ feeling. I know for a fact that there are many, many people who go from ‘clicks and feels so right’ to dislike and breakup later. It’s just that people only pay attention to tales like the one above as ‘proof’ that ‘love at first sight’ exists when they likely know people who were sure they were in love early on who later, knowing each other better, realized it wasn’t love after all. I think that, in the cases where ‘clicks and feels so right’ continues into a happy marriage, there was a fortuitious of the ‘click’ happening with someone that is a good match. This is not so much ‘love at first sight’ but more lucking into an infatuation with the right person. There are also long and happy marriages that start out of friendships where nobody loved anybody ‘at first sight’ but the two grew to love each other over time. ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/25 "2007-04-09T17:14:34Z")
I’ve had a lot of lust at first sight experiences, but I still believe that there is such a thing as the “just right” feeling at first meeting. Maybe that is what people mean by love at first sight, but I’m not sure. Twice I married men who proposed to me before even having kissed me. The first one died after 14 and 1/2 years of marriage, but we probably would have ended up divorced anyway (long story). The second one and I met and we quickly became good friends. He was so very nice that I wanted to introduce him to all my single women friends in case they were interested in him that way. Stopping now because both of those anecdotes are long stories, and I have to get back to work. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/26 "2007-04-09T17:39:17Z")
Lust will sustain you when love is gone., ---
**Author:** ![GuyNblueJeans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9bcb4/32.png) [@GuyNblueJeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuyNblueJeans)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/27 "2007-04-09T18:20:41Z")
[QUOTE=McNew] I believe in it, and I also believe that there’s a difference between _lust_ at first sight and _love_ at first sight. There were plenty of women I lusted after upon first setting eyes on them, but when I saw this one in particular, there was nothing that I would consider lustful about my immediate and mind boggling attraction to her. It was more like I wanted to just envelop her in my arms and enjoy the almost hearbreaking feelings of _want_ and _need_ and _love_, forever. And she was then, and still to this day is, the only woman who ever made me feel that way. So I married her. [/QUOTE] Cool! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GuyNblueJeans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9bcb4/32.png) [@GuyNblueJeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuyNblueJeans)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/28 "2007-04-09T18:27:08Z")
[QUOTE=Honeydew] Yes. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that I believe you can love someone without having met them, ie someone you’ve met online. It happened to me and my husband, we met on here. We emailed for 2 days, he called me on the 3rd day and I asked him to marry me on the 4th day. We met in real life about a week later and married 15 months later. In May, we’ll have been together 5 years in total, married for 3 in August. [/QUOTE] I’m happy for you, Honeydew! 🙂 Is it going well, are you happy to this day? ---
**Author:** ![GuyNblueJeans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9bcb4/32.png) [@GuyNblueJeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuyNblueJeans)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/29 "2007-04-09T18:45:31Z")
[QUOTE=gonzomax] Lust will sustain you when love is gone., [/QUOTE] That’s funny! I might use that line myself down the line, if ya don’t mind. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/30 "2007-04-09T19:51:03Z")
[QUOTE=ShibbOleth] Yes I’m certain that it happens all the time. [/QUOTE] **GuyNblueJeans** , welcome to the board! As I’m sure you’ve noticed, all of us here get by with a little help from our friends. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/31 "2007-04-09T20:11:03Z")
I beleive that there are unique situations where love at first sight is possible. Forgive the chemistry analogy but imagine two people in a “high-energy” emotional state. This could be desparation, broken heart, lonelyness, or any number of factors that could bring someone to this state. These people are ready to dive in to a long term commitment. They are constantly putting out involuntary signals that they are in this “high-energy” state. They are probably constantly looking for someone to satisfy their need, but not finding it. When these two people meet, they may each recognize the others state. Assuming there are no other barriers, there is nothing to stop these two from coming together and producing a “low-energy” state. Such a bond would immediately be very strong. Sexual attraction has little to do with this type of event. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/32 "2007-04-09T20:17:48Z")
Back in the day, I remember meeting a personable, beautiful young woman (her name was Chris) with whom I was instantly smitten. She had red hair, blue eyes, faint freckles and a stunning smile. Within seconds of meeting her I was fantasizing about spending the rest of my life with her and having freckle-faced, red-headed kids with her. We dated twice and I fell hard before I discovered she was Mormon – didn’t mean anything to me at the time, but she told me it meant we could never “be together” because she would only marry a Mormon. She did, later. They had a passel of kids. Fortunately, she left the country shortly after our second date, so I couldn’t stalk her while I spot-welded my broken heart back together. ---
**Author:** ![GuyNblueJeans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9bcb4/32.png) [@GuyNblueJeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuyNblueJeans)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/33 "2007-04-09T22:45:17Z")
Kythereia – Thanks! Yes, there does seem to be a lot of good feelings towards one another in this place. Nice! Sunrazor – Sorry to hear about that. I guess we all get a little of that sort of rain in our lives.☹ ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2007, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/34 "2007-04-10T00:39:11Z")
Nope, just lust at first sight. I think infatuation could develop after just one conversation, though. ---
**Author:** ![Fetchund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@Fetchund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fetchund)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2007, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/35 "2007-04-10T01:30:09Z")
Yes, I do believe in love at first sight. It sure wasn’t lust - she was not my “type”, and I really only saw the profile. But I immediately knew that this was “the one”, even if I didn’t find her cute. It has been 18 years, so I think it was love! ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2007, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/36 "2007-04-10T01:56:23Z")
Maybe not love, but “damn, she’s cute!” at first sight. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2007, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/37 "2007-04-10T16:19:39Z")
[QUOTE=GuyNblueJeans] I’m happy for you, Honeydew! 🙂 Is it going well, are you happy to this day? [/QUOTE] It is going very well, we’re very happy together. We are trying for a child (having suffered a miscarriage in February which has made us even stronger) to start our family together. I never met anyone before that I thought I could spend the rest of my life with but my husband is the man that, not only I cannot imagine spending one day without, but who I want to have a family with and grow old together. Sounds soppy but I don’t care! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2007, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/38 "2007-04-10T17:55:47Z")
I had never believed in LaFS until I met My Guy, over 19 years ago. We were having “anonymous” sex with a bunch of other guys, and as soon as our eyes (and other body parts) made contact, we just sort of forgot about everyone else. We went back to my place and didn’t emerge for 3 or 4 days. Ok, so it wasn’t literally “love” (you really have to know a person pretty well before you can call it love), but it was way beyond simple lust. We just knew, without any doubt, that we were totally right for each other. And we’re still going strong (and monogamous) after all these years. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2007, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/39 "2007-04-10T17:59:15Z")
Love at first sight? I’m sure it happens; the stories here are evidence enough. It’s just very improbable. ---
**Author:** ![Queuing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/90ced4/32.png) [@Queuing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queuing)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2007, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288/40 "2007-04-10T18:00:12Z")
[QUOTE=AngelicGemma] No. But I do believe people mistake lust for love. [/QUOTE] Definitely. Around here we call it “high school”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/399288.md?page=3)