# Do you believe in love at first sight?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [October 9, 2010, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607 "2010-10-09T15:33:37Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)
#### Post date: [October 9, 2010, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/21 "2010-10-09T23:54:26Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> I believe in _lust_ at first sight but not love. Saying you love someone implies that you know them, to me, to some degree. I don’t think you can know someone till you’ve met them and spent some time knowing them. Before that, it’s just infatuation.
Strong infatuation, but infatuation nonetheless. Love requires a depth of knowledge, trust, respect, etc. that you could never know at first sight.
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/22 "2010-10-10T00:06:47Z")
I’ve definitely had those infatuation feelings, though. Like when you first meet someone and they seem so awesome, and you don’t really know them, but you fill in the blanks in an ideal way. And then maybe you get to know them and you learn some things that don’t necessarily fit with how you thought it was going to be.
Looking back now, I think at those times I genuinely felt those feelings. But now, it just sort of feels like, “Meh, if I knew then…”
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### Author:  [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/23 "2010-10-10T00:25:13Z")
Picked “Other”.
Define “love”.
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### Author:  [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/24 "2010-10-10T00:25:39Z")
Love is not something you can feel without knowing a person. I’m guessing “at first sight” doesn’t include talking online for months before meeting.
Mig and I were immediately attracted to each other but I don’t think I really loved him until we’d been together for about a year.
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### Author:  [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/25 "2010-10-10T03:13:37Z")
There was a man who was a friend of friends. I didn’t even notice he was around but I knew he had been around before. I had barely even glanced at him. One day he asked me to hand him his coat and I did without even looking at him, I was talking to another person. From that moment on I was irresistibly attracted to him. An attraction that has lasted 30 years.
We dated off and on for a while. I broke up with him for fairly good reasons but maybe things could have worked out. I wish I had been mature enough to try harder.
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### Author:  [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/26 "2010-10-10T03:22:53Z")
I picked other, as I won’t say it’s never happened, but TRUE love, as opposed to infatuation/lust? I think most people are deluding themselves.
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### Author:  [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/27 "2010-10-10T03:30:34Z")
I’ve fallen in love with four women in my life. In three of the four cases, I was attracted to them from pretty much the moment I saw them. As others have said, I don’t believe that was actual love at that point.
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/28 "2010-10-10T03:41:52Z")
My answer is both lame and eye rolling so if you’re crabby you should just skip right over it.
I’ve never fallen in romantic love at first sight but when my son was born and the doctor laid him on my chest I was madly in love.
I kno, I know - lame answer and not what the OP was going for, but true nonetheless.
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### Author:  [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/29 "2010-10-10T06:46:55Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#):
>
> Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time.
>
> What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can’t tell you, but I know it’s mine.
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### Author:  [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichini_Sanshigo)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/30 "2010-10-10T07:01:56Z")
Does anyone believe in hate at first sight?
I think that for strong emotions like love and hate, “at first sight” is unrealistic. Maybe lust and repulsion at first sight are possible, but not love and hate.
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### Author:  [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/31 "2010-10-10T07:13:05Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#):
>
> My answer is both lame and eye rolling so if you’re crabby you should just skip right over it.
>
> I’ve never fallen in romantic love at first sight but when my son was born and the doctor laid him on my chest I was madly in love.
>
> I kno, I know - lame answer and not what the OP was going for, but true nonetheless.
I think this is sort of like Rushgeekgirl’s question about knowing someone online first, though. It’s not like your little guy appeared out of thin air, you probably spent at least four months being aware of his presence physically as he kicked and turned besides the fact that you were mentally looking forward to meeting him. He was real to you months before you saw him.
Anyway, I believe in lust at first sight and falling in love quickly, but I don’t think you can fall in love with someone the moment you see them if you were not previously aware of their existence.
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### Author:  [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/32 "2010-10-10T13:11:09Z")
I have one husband (my first and only, btw) and one close friend who I both glommed on to within a week of meeting… in both cases, we were very fond of each other by the second time we met, and have only gotten fonder. But it wasn’t first sight with either.
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/33 "2010-10-10T13:43:24Z")
Infatuation/lust at first sight, certainly - but definitely not love, as you never know what you’re getting.
When I went to college I met this girl who I dubbed “the perfect woman”. She was disarmingly beautiful, gorgeous figure, long dark flowing hair, huge brown doe eyes, the cutest Irish accent, an amazing singing voice, and utterly charming. I asked her to marry me within two minutes of talking to her (I was joking, but in that joke was a grain of truth).
She turned out to be one of the few people I’ve met that was a genuine psychopath (I’ve spoken about her in a couple of other threads). She ended up dating and moving in with a friend of mine, and she absolutely ruined his life for a good few years. There’s no way you’d end up loving that.
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### Author:  [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/34 "2010-10-10T15:29:12Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#):
>
> My answer is both lame and eye rolling so if you’re crabby you should just skip right over it.
>
> I’ve never fallen in romantic love at first sight but when my son was born and the doctor laid him on my chest I was madly in love.
>
> I kno, I know - lame answer and not what the OP was going for, but true nonetheless.
On topic as far as I’m concerned.
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### Author:  [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/35 "2010-10-10T17:05:45Z")
I’ve certainly had times when I’ve instinctively liked people in a platonic way on first sight. Not often, but a handful of times before the hellos are even over I’ve gotten this instinctive gut-level feeling that this person and I are going to be friends. And it’s always panned out, every single one of those times. It sounds stupid and crazy and full of shit, I know, but it’s true. That being the case, I can’t quite bring myself to completely dismiss love at first sight, even though my rational mind certainly thinks it’s stupid and crazy and full of shit.
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### Author:  [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/36 "2010-10-10T17:24:32Z")
Oh, I almost always know whether I can be good friends with someone within 5 minutes of meeting them, and I know whether I could ever eff someone within 30 seconds. This is mostly because I’m shallow and most of my friends are very cute, not because I have a psychic or spiritual connection with them.
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### Author:  [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)
#### Post date: [October 10, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/37 "2010-10-10T17:44:22Z")
“Other” to the first because at least some of these self-reports are bound to be factual.
“No” to the second because I only ever develop a crush after spending quite some time in the lady’s company - I’d say hours to hundreds of hours of casual observation.
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### Author:  [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2010, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/38 "2010-10-11T05:51:46Z")
Seems to me that most people who think they’ve fallen in love that quickly are probably fooling themselves; but it happened to me, so I can’t say it’s impossible. So, ‘Other’, and ‘Yes’.
(I proposed to the future Mrs. Simmons less than one month after we first met, after making the decision to do so after barely two weeks. And I was positive that I was in love by the end of our very first conversation. Utterly insane. But we just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this past summer, so I guess there was method in my madness.)
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### Author:  [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2010, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/39 "2010-10-11T06:21:13Z")
Exactly once in my life have I seen someone across the room and felt irresistibly attracted to them before even speaking to them. But even that wasn’t love. I don’t think it was purely lust, either, but it wasn’t love.
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### Author:  [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2010, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-in-love-at-first-sight/556607/40 "2010-10-11T07:08:33Z")
I have mentioned this on the boards before, but feel it is worth mentioning again - to give others hope.
I was a Gay slut - lived my 20’s like there was no tomorrow. Chicago, NYC and Berlin.
Standing in a bar in Berlin (called Dreizehn - “13” in English), I was depressed. I was currently dating not one, not two, but THREE guys on a fairly regular basis.
I decided to end it with all three of them as they were fun, nice guys - but not long-term relationship material.
Suddenly, just like in the movies, across a crowed room I saw a guy look at me, and I looked at him.
I don’t know how to describe it.
It clicked?
I knew?
Whatever it was, it was something I had never in my life felt before.
I still remember what he was wearing, he remembers what I was wearing.
We both vividly recall “that look” on that day.
Our friends predicted it would not last more than a month.
This coming February 28, 2011 we will have been together 30 years!
I could not ever have imagined having had the luck to meet someone like him and I know he feels the same about me.
Yes, love most certainly does happen at first sight. We are living proof.
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