I believe that love is not inherently mystical or magical, although it produces such feelings as a side effect. I believe love to be an evolved biological process, although that doesn’t detract from its power as an awe-inspiring, moving and happiness-inducing device.
I don’t believe in the concept of a One True Love, soul-mates, loving someone before you meet them, or any other kind of paranormal matchings. Simple statistics show that it’s unlikely you would ever meet the person the universe deems your ‘other half’ without some kind of divine intervention.
I believe in love, because it’s happened to me. I suspect it’s largely biological, what with the mating ritual and all, but I like what love has become over time. In the beginning it was intense and urgent and all-consuming. That has to die down at some point, or you’d both go nuts. I like it now that the intensity is dialed down a couple of notches, although that part was lots of fun, too. I like how comfortable it is now. Whatever else may be wrong in the world, I’m doing all right in the love department. The biggest surprise I’ve had was that it’s so easy for us to maintain our relationship. So many others we’ve witnessed get it all wrong. It’s not hard! Or maybe I’m a lucky bastard.
I absolutely believe in love, of many different kinds. But not the “mystical”, one-true-love kind. My FIL is convinced that any two reasonable, fairly pleasant people, devoted to the idea of making a relationship work, can do it. He believes that two such people can “build” love. I’m not convinced that he’s right; but I’m not convinced that he’s wrong, either.
I believe that any type of love, be it for spouse, children, siblings, parents, friends, etc., is never stagnant. It is either getting better or worse. And if you’re not working on making it better, guess which way it’s going?
I believe there’s a huge difference between love and infatuation, and too many people mistake infatuation for love. Infatuation will always wear off. It’s just a thin veneer. It cannot stand up to wear and tear. Love, though, properly cared for, not only will endure hardships, but can become the better for them.
I want to believe in love. There’s been a lot of great thoughts about the subject posted here already–lasting realtionships do require work, selfishness kills a marriage, etc.
Right now I live in a sort of commune (more like an adult frat house) with 12 other people. There are nine guys here because they are getting or did get divorced. What this has revealed to me is that you can love another person with all your heart and soul, do everything in your power for them, give it every ounce of effort you can … and there’s still no guarantee they’ll do it back.
The implications of this scare me, and the way relationships are reduced to a material level so often (“Does he have a good body/great car/nice job?”; “Does she have nice breasts/an Ivy League degree/a willingness to quit her job, stay home and raise my kids?”) is depressing too.
Love is a big fat risk. As someone who has measured and avoided risk all my life, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised I’ve never truly been in love.
I don’t believe in one true abiding love.
I don’t believe in love at first sight. It’s lust.
I don’t believe in life-long monogamous love.
What do I believe in? I believe the right kind of two humans can get along and live together for a long time. They must both be willing and able to sacrifice. They must both be - not mature necessarily - but able to mature together. They must be able to forgive. They must have deep affection for each other and fondness which lasts longer than infatuation.
And I’m in a long relationship. Now I am extremely cynical about love, always have been, so obviously this probably affects how I view it. But I think trying to force people into little square holes of monogamity (is that even a word?) is just asking for trouble.
No. Sorry, but IME true love lasted forever, right up until it threw me under the oncoming train. Then came the dark times, and six years later, I’m still trying to convince myself to try again. But I can’t get past the feeling that it would just be cruel to trick myself like that.
I love my wife dearly, and she loves me. I can’t pull “love” out and show it to you like my driver’s license, but it’s there. It’s deep, abiding, patient and passionate. She’s my lover, my companion, my best friend and my partner.
My love for my daughter, on the other hand, is completely beyond the capability of language to express.