# Do you believe that it is worse for a man to hit a woman, than a woman to hit a man? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 18, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567 "2013-01-18T00:35:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![the\_apples\_fell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@the\_apples\_fell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_apples_fell)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/1 "2013-01-18T00:35:38Z")
I have noticed that many people will use the argument of gender equality to defend why a man should be able to hit a woman back if she hits first… saying that if a woman is equal, then she can be hit like an equal too if she starts a confrontation with a man that is physical in nature. Others do not agree with this, and believe that equal does not mean the same, and since women are generally not as physically strong as men, a man still should never hit a woman. Thoughts? ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/2 "2013-01-18T00:39:08Z")
It is considered socially unacceptable in this society for men to use violence against women (female on male violence or same gender violence are generally ignored). However a man getting one of his female friends to beat up a woman he dislikes is not nearly as frowned upon. So if you must, that is the way to go. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/3 "2013-01-18T00:40:33Z")
No. I don’t think the gender of the people involved is relevant. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/4 "2013-01-18T00:51:30Z")
I did not mean to vote for option A. I’m not even sure how I cast a vote in this poll. ---
**Author:** ![Fool\_in\_the\_Rain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@Fool\_in\_the\_Rain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fool_in_the_Rain)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/5 "2013-01-18T00:52:48Z")
“Son, if you ever hit a woman in anger, you will never respect yourself again.” Advice my father gave me when I was a teen, and it has stuck with me. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/6 "2013-01-18T00:54:04Z")
Neither of these is correct. The first is closest to being correct. While the sentence is logically true, the first clause is false (i.e. that a woman can hit a man), so while the second clause would be true _if_ the first clause is, it is not and so it is irrelevant. There are exceptions for both genders, if you are defending yourself, or others, or your property. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/7 "2013-01-18T00:57:26Z")
Is the the woman Leila Ali? Is she currently bashing your face in, and refuses to stop? If the answer to all of these questions is anything but “yes,” paws off. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/8 "2013-01-18T01:15:24Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Neither of these is correct. The first is closest to being correct. While the sentence is logically true, the first clause is false (i.e. that a woman can hit a man), so while the second clause would be true _if_ the first clause is, it is not and so it is irrelevant. > > There are exceptions for both genders, if you are defending yourself, or others, or your property. This is what I think. Men and women are equal, so neither should hit the other. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/9 "2013-01-18T01:26:48Z")
A girl kicked me in the nuts once for no particularly good reason. I knocked her on her ass. She’s lucky she didn’t end up with a black eye or broken nose. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/10 "2013-01-18T01:30:37Z")
Men and women should never hit each other, or anybody else, to equal degrees. Mitigating factors count for both, and should be evaluated on a case-by-case basis. I couldn’t vote in the poll because it confused me. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/11 "2013-01-18T01:31:55Z")
Men and women are equal in terms of the value of their lives, their protection under the law, etc. It does not mean they are equally matched in a physical fight. I have to ask, who really thinks this is what “men and women are equal” means? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/12 "2013-01-18T01:33:51Z")
> [@gallows\_fodder](#): > > Men and women are equal in terms of the value of their lives, their protection under the law, etc. It does not mean they are equally matched in a physical fight. I have to ask, who really thinks this is what “men and women are equal” means? What difference does that make? There are a limited set of circumstances where anyone should hit anyone else. What part does their gender play in that? ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/13 "2013-01-18T01:45:11Z")
How about nobody hits anybody? Can we go with that? ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/14 "2013-01-18T01:46:06Z")
The question and the poll optons are seriously flawed. The question does not even match the poll options. I would think that what allows you to hit someone else has to do with avoiding a greater harm, defense of self or others or reasonable belief in consent rather than relative strength. Given that small men are generally weaker than big men, do small men get to hit bigger men all they want and the big men don’t get to hit back? If I may ask a related question: Why these overly broad proscriptions? When I hear someone say “A man should never hit a woman” it rarely seems to be meant as is stated. What the person seems to mean is: “Don’t hit a woman in a situation where you are being abusive/bullying/reckless” which is quite sensible but why not just say that? Why phrase it as a categorical proscription which is utter nonsense if taken seriously? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/15 "2013-01-18T01:48:24Z")
I voted for A, but with the caveat that everyone should be able to defend themselves. I don’t think it is right for anybody to hit anybody, but if I was get the crap beat out of me by a woman, there would come a point where I would feel just fine hitting her back. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/16 "2013-01-18T01:52:01Z")
I chose the second option, but a response closer to what I would like to answer is that _nobody_ should be hitting _anybody._ Now, if a woman starts hitting a man, what he should do is remove himself from the situation as quickly as possible, and notify the authorities. This is the same advice I would give to a woman who is being attacked by a man. Restraining your attacker physically so that you can get a chance to leave is also something to consider. It is not always possible however. Just leave. That’s all. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/17 "2013-01-18T01:58:52Z")
To paraphrase Miss Manners: A man hitting a woman is bad manners; a woman hitting a man is bad judgement. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/18 "2013-01-18T02:01:52Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Given that small men are generally weaker than big men, do small men get to hit bigger men all they want and the big men don’t get to hit back? Thats my beef. If as a woman you think you can hit a man because you can “get away with it” you might want to think again. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/19 "2013-01-18T02:10:59Z")
Everyone should keep their mitts to themselves. Violence is bad, period. Doesn’t matter who instigates it. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567/20 "2013-01-18T02:11:20Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Thats my beef. If as a woman you think you can hit a man because you can “get away with it” you might want to think again. I’ve heard a few women complain that when they play fight and they hit their male SO at their full strength, the male SO hits them back at their full strength too. I wonder if that’s a not-overt-but-still-not-subtle signal from their male SOs that being female doesn’t allow you to get away with hitting others. More in line with the OP: Generally, abusively hitting someone using a greater amount of strength is worse than abusively hitting someone using a lesser amount of strength. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-believe-that-it-is-worse-for-a-man-to-hit-a-woman-than-a-woman-to-hit-a-man/647567.md?page=2)