I recently sent this email to a colleague I’ve been doing overtime for:
He probably now thinks I’m one of Them. 
(It’s actually a friend’s stag night, so come the morning of the 22nd I may wish it was all over.)
Instead of Judgement Day, can’t we just have a Fun Day?
I mean, the guy hasn’t given us a day off in “6000” years.
And I know he doesn’t want to do an all-out celebration for us all, because we’re unworthy sinners etc.
But just like a day out to the next inhabited world. With ice cream.
Sun going supernova? Scientists invent and then lose control of a singularity?
You left out “No, because it’s already happened a long, long time ago”
Will this wind be so mighty, so as to lay low all the mountains of the earth?
No.
That’s crazy.
You’re off your rocker.
Cuckoo!
How does one sign up for your newsletter?
Oh yes they will. People judge other people all the time. I judged someone last night because they had a Stanford alumni license plate holder, and were driving like a jerk.
[pedant][pedant]
That could actually happen. The problem is that there are an awful lot of asteroids out there. We haven’t found all the big ones that could cross the Earth’s orbit. The other problem is that a lot of asteroids are dark-colored, so they’re not easy to see.
We could also get hit by a comet, but in that case we’d probably get a few months or years warning. Not that that would help anything.
Can’t happen. It’s not nearly massive enough.
It is slowly getting brighter, and will cause all the water on Earth to evaporate away in about a billion years. This will wipe out most, if not all, life on Earth.
[/pedant][/pedant]
We get this, in Judaism. This is what Shabbat is supposed to be about. It’s even supposed to be a foretaste of the “World to Come”, the good Jewish afterlife. Not necessarily with ice cream, but we do get wine.
Wrong, it’s She Who was seated on the Great White Throne. Earth and sky flee from my presence when I’m sitting on the great white throne, at least when I’ve been eating beans.
Which, as a matter of fact, is why I will be going before Congress next week to argue in favor of the upcoming “Spray-paint All Near-earth Asteroids White” act, which I predict will sail through when it comes up for a vote. Saving the Earth, giving NASA something to do once the shuttles stop flying, and a jobs bill, all in one!
God is a big picture guy, he’s not really into the exact numbers.
If J Day doesn’t happen on the 21st, I’m available for the judging panel anytime after Memorial day weekend.
Here’s the site for you and any aspiring world-destroyer:
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[QUOTE=qntm.org/destroy]
Destroying the Earth is harder than you may have been led to believe.
You’ve seen the action movies where the bad guy threatens to destroy the Earth. You’ve heard people on the news claiming that the next nuclear war or cutting down rainforests or persisting in releasing hideous quantities of pollution into the atmosphere threatens to end the world.
Fools.
The Earth is built to last. It is a 4,550,000,000-year-old, 5,973,600,000,000,000,000,000-tonne ball of iron. It has taken more devastating asteroid hits in its lifetime than you’ve had hot dinners, and lo, it still orbits merrily. So my first piece of advice to you, dear would-be Earth-destroyer, is: do NOT think this will be easy.
This is not a guide for wusses whose aim is merely to wipe out humanity. I (Sam Hughes) can in no way guarantee the complete extinction of the human race via any of these methods, real or imaginary. Humanity is wily and resourceful, and many of the methods outlined below will take many years to even become available, let alone implement, by which time mankind may well have spread to other planets; indeed, other star systems. If total human genocide is your ultimate goal, you are reading the wrong document. There are far more efficient ways of doing this, many which are available and feasible RIGHT NOW. Nor is this a guide for those wanting to annihilate everything from single-celled life upwards, render Earth uninhabitable or simply conquer it. These are trivial goals in comparison.
This is a guide for those who do not want the Earth to be there anymore.
[/QUOTE]
](How to destroy the Earth @ Things Of Interest)
I think the interview process for the position of asteroid painter should heavily favor people who drive like jerks. We’d at least be rid of 'em for a little while. If they drive the ship like a jerk and crash into an asteroid or burn up in the atmosphere, so much the better.
I was looking for the exact quote by Nietzsche, “If God did not exist, it would be necessary for us to invent Him,” which dovetails nicely with my own philosophy that God did not create us in His own image; rather, we created God in OUR own image. An all-powerful being limited by his own venal emotions, easily influenced by the very beings He’s created. I used to have a bumper sticker that read, “Jesus is coming, and He is PISSED!”
But I found a better one, more suited to the topic:
“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.” ~ Richard Bach
Hillary, is that YOU again?
Oh, now if Dr. Manhattan is coming back, I’m interested!
It better not end May 21. I have plans that day and my divorce trial doesn’t start until June 1. If I die as a married man I’m going to be pissed!
I hope so. I’m supposed to call in for jury duty on May 27.
I judge people every day. No reason May 21 should be different!
From what I understand, the end of the world is an acceptable excuse for failure to show up for jury duty, unlike the IRS which still demands that you pay your taxes anyway.
Oh come on. I think we will all be judging people really harshly on May 21st, especially the ones who thought the world was going to end. Every day is Judgment Day on the SDMB.