# Do you bring gifts to a dinner party? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 29, 2012, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425 "2012-05-29T09:06:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jormungandr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@Jormungandr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jormungandr)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/1 "2012-05-29T09:06:43Z")
This based on a conversation inspired on the how you use your fork poll. In my family, it was considered rude to bring gifts if you were invited over for dinner at our house. To bring food or drink was considered rude and akin to saying that what we were providing wasn’t good enough in taste or quantity (we insisted you take food home) for you. If we didn’t have the beer/wine/soda you like, we’ll make a store run. So, do you bring gifts when you’re invited to dinner (party). If so, what do you bring and what was the reaction? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Mondegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/91b2a8/32.png) [@Lord\_Mondegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Mondegreen)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/2 "2012-05-29T09:14:14Z")
I always bring a bottle of wine, and anyone who eats at our house brings a bottle of wine as well. But like with everything etiquette-related there are regional/age/cultural differences. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/3 "2012-05-29T09:44:28Z")
Would normally bring something, customised to the person we are visiting. Might be anything from liqour to chocolates to books for their kids ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/4 "2012-05-29T09:49:06Z")
A food/drink gift is certainly not an insult in my part of the World: - it’s for the host, not for the guest (so says nothing about the food / drink being served) - it shows gratitude for the work the host is putting in - it might be a super speciality item that the guest makes only for friends P.S. Having the host make a store run for you is embarrassing… ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/5 "2012-05-29T10:10:45Z")
Our circle of friends is pretty casual - we don’t bring anything to each other’s unless it’s a pot-luck dinner. I suppose if I was invited to a fancy-pants dinner at someone’s house, I’d bring wine or chocolates, but I don’t expect that to happen in my lifetime. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/6 "2012-05-29T10:20:48Z")
I usually only bring something if asked, but then again, I only ever get invited to my friends and family’s places for dinner, and we’re all very casual about it. If I get an invite, I’ll ask if they want me to bring something, and sometimes they say yes, sometimes no. If it’s a more formal event or it’s with people I don’t know well, I usually bring wine for the hosts - not for drinking that night, necessarily. It’s that I feel a gift of some sort is in order, but I don’t want to get them crap for their house. Wine is easy, and also easily regiftable if they don’t want it. ---
**Author:** ![N9IWP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/n9iwp/32/3154_2.png) [@N9IWP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N9IWP)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/7 "2012-05-29T10:45:22Z")
I’d certainly offer, as in “want me to bring anything?” Though I’m rarrely invited for just a meal, usually it includes something else (these days, boardgames), so I’b bring a slection of my games plus probabl;y a snack Brian ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/8 "2012-05-29T10:45:29Z")
I don’t attend many dinner parties, but I’d say bringing some wine or picking up something from the store is not a bad thing to do. I usually ask my friend “should I bring anything over?” It seems when I have friends over for a small dinner party, they usually bring wine, which is nice, but I’m not much of a wine drinker. The gesture is appreciated though! ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/9 "2012-05-29T10:54:28Z")
I bring something, but it’s certainly not for that night. I assume if I’m invited for dinner the hosts have planned a meal and have food. I’ve only been disappointed in that assumption once. I bring something for them to enjoy later. With most families I bring a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and say, “This is for you two to enjoy sometime.” if I don’t know the people that well I bring flowers or candy. I don’t think people expect their gift to be served with the dinner. At least they shouldn’t expect it. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/10 "2012-05-29T11:24:36Z")
Usually a bottle of wine. This is as a gift for the hosts, and is NOT expected to be opened that evening. For an informal meal, we will ask if we can bring anything to help out. I made and transported a lot of potato salad over this past weekend, for cookouts and picnics. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/11 "2012-05-29T11:33:26Z")
There should have been a “sometimes” response, because I do bring a hostess gift on occasion. Other times, I do not. If it’s a formal event with, say, beef tenderloin, I’ll definitely bring a bottle of wine or a plant (e.g. an Easter lily). If it’s a pig roast, I don’t. If it’s to celebrate a birthday of one of the hosts, then I bring him/her a present, but not a second one for being host. If I’ve been asked to contribute to any part of the meal in advance (dessert, appetizer, wine), then I don’t bring a hostess gift. If it’s part of a rotating host dinner club, then I might bring a bottle of wine for common consumption, but not a formal gift. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/12 "2012-05-29T13:40:27Z")
You always bring something – a bottle of wine was typical. It would be something that didn’t necessarily have to be served at the dinner. Woody Allen referred to the practice in **Bananas** : when he was invited to the Presidential Palace for dinner, he brought a cake. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/13 "2012-05-29T13:54:02Z")
I show up with a hostess gift (wine, chocolate, fruit basket, etc) even at informal events. As others have pointed out, the gift is not intended to be part of the event’s menu (although the host may choose to use it). Upon receiving a dinner invitation, I’ll ask if I can contribute anything, but if the answer is no, I honor that. Many hosts do not appreciate having their planned menu hijacked. Aunt Edna’s signature tuna / potato chip casserole doesn’t belong at Tandoori Night. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/14 "2012-05-29T13:56:43Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Our circle of friends is pretty casual - we don’t bring anything to each other’s unless it’s a pot-luck dinner. I suppose if I was invited to a fancy-pants dinner at someone’s house, I’d bring wine or chocolates, but I don’t expect that to happen in my lifetime. That about sums it up for me, too. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/15 "2012-05-29T14:02:12Z")
I was raised to believe it was insulting to bring a gift to a dinner party. Rather, you are supposed to write a nice thank-you note after, and to reciprocate the hosting. However, I think I was raised by people stuck in the 19th century and **Mr. Mallard** insists we bring a bottle of wine and / or flowers whether I want to or not. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/16 "2012-05-29T14:14:03Z")
I generally offer to bring something to go with the meal (salad, dessert, etc.) and bring a bottle of wine with me if I know the person/couple drinks. If they don’t drink, I might bring a small box of chocolates or something else small for the hostess. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/17 "2012-05-29T14:38:17Z")
Usually a bottle of wine, I would feel weird without coming with something. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/18 "2012-05-29T14:42:03Z")
Again with the bottle of wine. Since Eva is a terrific cook, sometimes our friends ask us to bring food instead. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/19 "2012-05-29T14:43:07Z")
Bottle of wine. It might be opened that evening and it might not. But I don’t like to show up empty-handed. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425/20 "2012-05-29T14:44:38Z")
> [@Jormungandr](#): > > (we insisted you take food home) OK, that’s a little creepy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-bring-gifts-to-a-dinner-party/623425.md?page=2)