# Do you call your SO when you're going to be late?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [October 4, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396 "2014-10-04T19:29:52Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/1 "2014-10-04T19:29:52Z")
I flew a couple of weeks ago. Since we were scheduled for 5:00 PM (1700, according to the instructor giving me my BFR), I figured I’d be heading home around seven. But we were the last flight of the day. We had to secure the airplane for the night, put the cockpit cover on, etc. Then we went into the office to do the ‘paperwork’ (computer work) to charge me and accept payment. Then there was the post-flight debriefing, going over the oral segment of the BFR that was not covered in the seminar I attended there a while back, having my log book endorsed stating I’m officially a Threat From Above, and a bit of chit-chat. About ten after eight I got a call from the SO wondering if I’d crashed. Since I was otherwise engaged, I didn’t answer. Five or ten minutes later I was getting in the car, phone in hand, ready to turn the car on and connect via Bluetooth to call the SO back, when the phone rang. She was concerned.
I probably should have called after I landed. OTOH, I intended to call as I was leaving but she beat me to it.
Do you call the SO when you’re going to be late?
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### Author:  [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/2 "2014-10-04T19:33:19Z")
Yes.
Dunno BFR.
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### Author:  [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/3 "2014-10-04T19:35:36Z")
If he’s expecting me at a certain time, yes, but I’ll text rather than call though. Only takes 10 seconds.
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### Author:  [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/4 "2014-10-04T19:52:06Z")
Yes, and not just my SO. If someone is expecting you and you’re running more than just a little late, it’s just common courtesy. I would think in this particular circumstance, it would be even more important to just check in and let her know you’re fine, just running late etc.
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### Author:  [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/5 "2014-10-04T19:52:31Z")
Always if the lateness is more than 15-20 minutes. Not just the SO; I would call anyone I was planning to meet at a specific time. It’s just common courtesy. More than an hour late without a call is cause for an apology.
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### Author:  [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/6 "2014-10-04T20:41:44Z")
Generally, if it’s going to be 20-30 minutes late I’ll call. If there’s something I’m expected or needed for, I’ll call if I’m going to be late at all, even 5-10 minutes.
With texting its easy.
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### Author:  [@iljitsch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iljitsch)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/7 "2014-10-04T20:46:53Z")
Why are you asking us? This is between you and your significant other.
However, in general if you tell someone A and then it turns out the situation is not-A, it’s proper form to give them a timely update.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/8 "2014-10-04T20:47:42Z")
Spousal unit worries, so I always call. If I’m visiting my mom, I’ll call as I’m leaving and if I get stuck in traffic enroute, I’ll call an update.
He’s usually good about calling me, too, but not always. When he’s with his motorcycle buddies, he loses track.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/9 "2014-10-04T20:48:32Z")
> [@iljitsch](#):
>
> Why are you asking us? This is between you and your significant other.
I’m not asking if _I_ should have called. I should have. I’m asking if other people call when they’re going to be late.
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### Author:  [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/10 "2014-10-04T20:52:40Z")
Yes, one of things that stayed with me the longest after my divorce was the feeling that I needed to call someone when late. 10 years after my divorce I would be out late and feeling like I needed to make a call.
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### Author:  [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/11 "2014-10-04T20:58:11Z")
I do. I’m not fanatic about it, though.
If we’re to meet somewhere at a specific time, and I’m running late (doesn’t happen often, I’m neurotic about being on time), I’ll call or text.
If it’s just that I said I’d be home around 7:00, but we didn’t have any specific plans to do anything that evening, and I’m running a bit late, the margin is considerably greater. But I won’t let it go so long that she starts to worry.
My wife, on the other hand – I’ve told her about a million times that it’s not like I’m a possessive husband, I don’t care where she goes with her friends, or who she’s out with, but at least tell me \*if \*you’re going out after work or something. It’s (at least) mildly worrisome (and annoying) when it gets to be 11:00 or 11:30 and she isn’t home yet and I haven’t heard from her.
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### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/12 "2014-10-04T21:06:53Z")
If there is a pre arranged time, yes, we both do.
If just a ballpark, we call if very delayed. Even if very early sometimes.
We both believe common courtesy is important in a marriage.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/13 "2014-10-04T21:09:51Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#):
>
> If we’re to meet somewhere at a specific time, and I’m running late (doesn’t happen often, I’m neurotic about being on time), I’ll call or text.
>
> If it’s just that I said I’d be home around 7:00, but we didn’t have any specific plans to do anything that evening, and I’m running a bit late, the margin is considerably greater. But I won’t let it go so long that she starts to worry.
Although I’m from L.A., where ‘Dude, I flaked’ is a perfectly acceptable reason for not meeting up, I’ll call someone if I’m supposed to meet him/her.
If it’s something like ‘I’ll be home around…’ I’ll call if something goes wrong like the car breaks down or something.
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### Author:  [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/14 "2014-10-04T22:38:07Z")
Me being late would be so crazily unusual that I would let anyone know.
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### Author:  [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)
#### Post date: [October 4, 2014, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/15 "2014-10-04T22:50:51Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#):
>
> I flew a couple of weeks ago…
> Do you call the SO when you’re going to be late?
Yes.
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### Author:  [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2014, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/16 "2014-10-05T00:01:01Z")
Always. I hate being left waiting, not knowing what’s going on. I believe it’s rude, and I prefer not to subject people to that.
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### Author:  [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2014, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/17 "2014-10-05T00:11:19Z")
I’ll start by stating that I’ve been married for 44 years to the same woman. I firmly believe that courtesy is a big part of a good marriage, and to me that means letting one another know what’s going on. I generally call when I’m on my way home from someplace, partly to let her know when I’ll be home and also to see if I need to pick up anything on my way through town.
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### Author:  [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2014, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/18 "2014-10-05T01:54:15Z")
Yes, unless it would be clear (e.g., by looking up my flight) that I was delayed in the air. Even then, I’ll call or text when I land.
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### Author:  [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2014, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/19 "2014-10-05T03:10:14Z")
Now, yes, because we have a kid and it helps a lot to know if the person at home should go ahead and fix her dinner, or get into bed, or if it’s worth waiting 10 more minutes for the other person to be home.
Pre-kid, or those rare occasions when she is visiting gramma, not so much unless it was very extreme. We both have jobs with fairly soft end times, so variations of between 1 and 2 hours were typical. We take public transportation, so that can vary travel time a lot (and in the subway, you can’t really call, and until recently, text was very spotty, so maybe that led to us not being in the habit).
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### Author:  [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2014, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-call-your-so-when-youre-going-to-be-late/700396/20 "2014-10-05T10:05:59Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#):
>
> Yes.
> Dunno BFR.
BFR = Biennial Flight Review. Johnny’s completing a required step for pilots every two years.
As for the question: No, the missus and I don’t usually track each other’s comings and goings unless we have an appointment. We decided a long time ago we really didn’t need to provide information we couldn’t do anything about. (ie. If I’m in an accident halfway across the country, knowing about it earlier won’t change much)
As for Johnny’s situation, if she’s curious she can track me by N-number on flightaware so I rarely call as “arrived” even for long distance flights.
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