# Do You Care About You're Significant Other's Romantic Past? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 31, 2010, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404 "2010-03-31T01:12:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/21 "2010-03-31T14:27:25Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I would want my SO to share everything about his romantic past, insofar as I would want him to share everything about himself. When I’m in love, I want to know everything that makes the man I love into who he is, including his past romantic relationships. I’m just a very open person and anybody I was with would have to reciprocate with me. This. I didn’t make him send me a spreadsheet or anything, but over the years I’ve met a few exes (and know some quite well), and to me it’s like knowing what schools he went to. I guess it helps that none were really serious, so I don’t feel threatened or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/22 "2010-03-31T14:28:00Z")
I would want to know if Mig had been with any of my friends just so I’d …know. It’s not like I’d care. I don’t care about who he was with before me really; it’d make no difference but if he wanted to tell me (and he did) I wouldn’t care. HE on the other hand gets obnoxious any time I bring up an event from my past because he’s so against wanting to know about my relationship history. He can’t stand thinking of me with another man. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/23 "2010-03-31T15:06:30Z")
I think it’s nice to know a history especially if it helps explain a current relationship but I have no urge to know about every fling or one-night stand. I voted only if it’s someone I know. I don’t think a sit-down conversation is necessary but it would be weird for me if we met an old friend of hers and I have no idea how they know each other but I also don’t need to know every position the tried either ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/24 "2010-03-31T15:21:34Z")
I’m between full disclosure (exact numbers, names, dates, etc.) and “only if you know the person.” I like having a general idea (lots of people, few people, men, women, both, neither, etc.), but I don’t need/want a detailed list. My husband is the same way. He knows (generally) my past, my preferences, some details here and there, but he doesn’t need a magic number. He doesn’t need a list, etc. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/25 "2010-03-31T15:22:38Z")
I wouldn’t insist on it, or ask, but if she wanted to tell me, that’d be OK with me. ---
**Author:** ![BleizDu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@BleizDu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BleizDu)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/26 "2010-03-31T15:28:15Z")
I looove knowing all the details about a partner’s previous relationships, I’m so curious! The more detailed the better! But I won’t probe or inquire, though. I just want to know if the person has currently any STDs. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/27 "2010-03-31T16:33:13Z")
We have fully discussed our pasts, both relationships and flings. I see no reason not to. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/28 "2010-03-31T16:36:18Z")
I care in the way I care about everything my SO wants to tell me. I find him interesting, so his past is interesting and important. ---
**Author:** ![jordanr2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@jordanr2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jordanr2)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/29 "2010-03-31T16:58:33Z")
I wouldn’t pry, but for the sake of health alone, is it not a good idea to know these things? Who wants to be blindsided by some awful disease they could’ve avoided had their partner been honest with them? ---
**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/30 "2010-03-31T17:22:18Z")
I tend towards generalities vs. specifics. I’d rather know about serious relationships vs. flings. However, the past is the past. The only time it matters is if some sort of baggage from a previous relationship affects how we behave to each other now - then I want to talk it out. Oh yeah, and the health thing. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/31 "2010-03-31T17:25:38Z")
frankly, my dating past is a source of amusement to both of us. When you have guys nicknamed Bra Boy, Nude Dude, Taxi Man, and Jedi Geek in your past - you can’t just keep 'em in the closet . . . ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/32 "2010-03-31T18:42:47Z")
For the first few years of my current marriage, my wife would refer to my ex-wife as the “practice wife”. She now just refers to her as the “crazy bitch”. She also now likes to refer to my questionable judgement for ever marrying the crazy bitch in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/33 "2010-04-02T05:01:54Z")
For dating, no. For leading up to marriage, I would want an extensive if not full history. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/34 "2010-04-02T05:51:04Z")
For me it is a "Yes and no depending on the situation. I married my ex-wife knowing she had “intimate relations” with other fellows and it did not bother me and I didn’t really want to know. In high school she had dated a friend of mine and I know that they had intimate realtions because he had bragged about it. Once we got together, and neither of us had contact with the friend for over a year by then, I definitely did not want to know what the two of them did. On the other hand I would want to know if my serious Lady friend had cheated in the past as that would affect me. Thinking on it now though who would ever admint to that? “So honey, have you ever cheated on your SO?” “Oh yeah babe! All the fucking time on those dumb pricks but I would never cheat on you because I love you so much.” Yeah, I don’t see that happening but if it did I would seriously consider dumping her. ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/35 "2010-04-02T06:02:17Z")
I voted don’t care, but ah. AHHHHH. ‘“You’re” Significant Other’s Past?’ AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :smack: ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/36 "2010-04-02T06:45:17Z")
My choice was not included, which is “Know, and don’t care.” I know about hers, she knows about mine, neither of us care (so she has told me). She’s met ex-lovers of mine (interviewed one for a radio show), I’ve met her ex-lovers. I’m very comfortable and confident with her past, if for no other reason than that only one of her exes was capable of bringing her to orgasm, and I’m the only one to do so consistently. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/37 "2010-04-02T07:30:03Z")
I prefer not to know. What guy wants to think about what other guys have porked his girlfriend? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/38 "2010-04-02T11:44:41Z")
I care inasmuch as it affects our present. “Ex-wife living in another country, they send postcards for Christmas” is a different animal from “a zillion ex-girlfriends, all of whom are still in speaking terms with him” is again different from “never married, pays child support on the three kids he has with three different women, sees each kid once every four weeks”. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/39 "2010-04-02T11:45:52Z")
I just want to be sure my partner is healthy. Other than that, her past is past. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404/40 "2010-04-02T12:37:37Z")
Maybe a general idea, but few specifics. Don’t need to know names of people they’ve shagged, positions they used and/or the location. Knowing that some bloke called Dave gave 'em a knee-trembler in the alley behind the shops does nothing to enrich my life. About the only thing I have any interest in, as others have mentioned, is a history of cheating. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-about-youre-significant-others-romantic-past/534404.md?page=3)