# Do You Care? Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 31, 2000, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329 "2000-01-31T04:28:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zeb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/57b2e6/32.png) [@Zeb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeb)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329/1 "2000-01-31T04:28:00Z")
Insipid. Vapid. Dull. Monotonous. These are a few words that describe your typical Super Bowl halftime show. Toss in a few has-been celebrities, and overdone choreography, and YOU TOO can create a painful experience. What I’d Rather Do Than Watch A Super Bowl Halftime Show: 1. Eat a whole jar of mayonnaise. 2. perform root canal surgery on myself. 3. Attend a weeklong seminar in Antarctica: “The best of the Mentos Commercials” 4. Stick thumbtacks in every square inch of my body 5. Form a “Phriends of Phaedrus” Club 6. Shave all my body hair and make interesting sculpture 7. Vote for Al Gore Well, didn’t quite make it to 10. But why are we subjected to this year after year? It’s like a train wreck, you don’t want to look, but you do anyway. And you’re always left feeling ill. What a great game, what a bad halftime show. * * * Still trying to think of something witty to say here ---
**Author:** ![Babar714](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Babar714](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babar714)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329/2 "2000-01-31T06:59:00Z")
Al Yankovic said it best: “I’d rather clean all the bathrooms in grand central station…with my tongue.” ---
**Author:** ![Jois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ea666f/32.png) [@Jois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jois)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329/3 "2000-01-31T07:22:00Z")
Watch the re-run of last year’s. * * * Oh, I’m gonna keep using these #%@&\* codes 'til I get 'em right. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329/4 "2000-01-31T12:28:00Z")
Mmmmmm… Mayonnaise. * * * Yer pal, ChiefScott (Per Satan’s suggestion) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329/5 "2000-01-31T13:04:00Z")
Things I would rather do than watch a Super Bowl halftime show : 1. Pass a bowling ball 2. Open an umbrella up my ass 3. Pull my lower lip over my head 4. Stick my privates in a bear trap 5. Put out a grease fire with my face * * * “Solos Dios basta” . . . but a little pizza won’t hurt. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329/6 "2000-01-31T22:20:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Mmmmmm… Mayonnaise. Brief aside: I’m (almost) ashamed to admit that until I was 31, I didn’t realize there was a difference between mayonnaise and Miracle Whip. I mean, my mother just never bought anything _but_ MW, and I just assumed those other jars of white gellatinous stuff were filled with the same thing, so I always bought the jar that had the same label as the stuff my mom always bought. I’ll NEVER forgive her… Miracle Whip **SUCKS.** \Hugely.\ :::kaff, kaff… GAG::: * * * **StoryTyler** “Not everybody does it, but everybody should.” [I Spy Ty.](http://sites.netscape.net/storytyler/homepage) ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329/7 "2000-01-31T22:32:00Z")
And another one comes over to the artery-clogged dark side… * * * He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts. But no smilies. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2000, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329/8 "2000-01-31T23:31:00Z")
Be on the receiving end of a heart transplant by a pack of rabid howler monkeys on heroin weilding dull, rusty butterknives. ---
**Author:** ![tenspeedjohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tenspeedjohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tenspeedjohn)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329/9 "2000-02-01T00:50:00Z")
Wow Zeb, I do half the things on your list on a regular basis. ---
**Author:** ![OldBroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@OldBroad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldBroad)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329/10 "2000-02-01T01:15:00Z")
A) Half time is for seeing what’s happening on SDMB B) Made my own mayo for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Thought there was another jar on the shelf but there wasn’t. Used Julia Child’s recipe. Good stuff, but I’ll alter the proportion of olive/peanut oils next time. ---
**Author:** ![Zeb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/57b2e6/32.png) [@Zeb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeb)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329/11 "2000-02-01T05:50:00Z")
TSJ: Which half? ## Never mind, I don’t want to know. Still trying to think of something witty to say here ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329/12 "2000-02-01T22:04:00Z")
> [@](#): > > And another one comes over to the artery-clogged dark side… And REJOICES!!! (Can I get an “Amen” from the chorus?) * * * **StoryTyler** “Not everybody does it, but everybody should.” [I Spy Ty.](http://sites.netscape.net/storytyler/homepage) ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-care-why/13329/13 "2000-02-01T23:41:00Z")
Trumpy: If rabid howler monkeys were after ME with rusty, blunt butterknives, I’d be the FIRST to offer them some heroin. It’s an opiate. Just keep 'em away from the crystal meth. * * * Uke