# Do you consider these phrases passive-aggressive? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 22, 2022, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097 "2022-08-22T16:33:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/61 "2022-08-24T14:11:21Z")
Let’s tack on stuff to these “offensive” phrases. 1. Please advise on what vacation days you want to take. 2. Noted that your presentation went well. 3. Friendly Reminder there’s still cake in the break room. 4. Will do happily all the things you asked me to do. 5. Thanks in advance for babysitting my kid. 6. Per our last conversation I’m still happy with our plans. 7. Circling back to say how well our project is going. 8. As per my last email I found all the advice is still working out well. 9. As promised I now have the money I owe you. 10. As discussed everything is coming up Milhouse! These are all “offensive”, right??? ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/62 "2022-08-24T14:23:49Z")
No. Just clunky. Context is a thing. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/63 "2022-08-24T15:39:50Z")
> [@phs3](#): > > …of people looking for reasons to be offended. I believe you might have missed the passive aggressive nature of my post. Or you just felt like quoting a sarcastic statement as if it was sincere was a good way to interact. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/64 "2022-08-24T15:42:30Z")
I’m not of the opinion that the original list is particularly useful. But for several of these, the first two in particular, the supposed passive aggressive version is to use them as full sentences. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/65 "2022-08-24T15:50:32Z")
State and local police should use these phrases to politely get their points across without offending anyone. Samples for warning tickets: “Friendly Reminder about not tailgating and staying in your lane.” “Per our recent conversation, state law prohibits driving 70 in a 40 mph zone.” “As promised, there are no points on your license, for now.” ---
**Author:** ![phs3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8491ac/32.png) [@phs3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phs3)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/66 "2022-08-24T15:53:52Z")
Oh. I wasn’t really answering YOU, just the general “I’m offended” thing that seems to be taking over. Sorry if it felt directed at you! ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/67 "2022-08-24T16:27:58Z")
Hmmm I just had an encounter at work the other day, where a new employee was in a status virtually that we are not to use…I told them, in what I thought was friendly terms (I didn’t use “friendly reminder” tho) and the response I got back was simply “Noted.” Later I “noted” that problem status remained. Which irritated the fuck out of me. So for me, it was combination of “noted” and then doing whatever they wanted to anyway. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/68 "2022-08-24T16:49:20Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > Which irritated the fuck out of me. Did you try just not being irritated? Some people here seem to think that’s the proper approach. I mean, it’s just Management 101. If your staff is bothered by something, simply tell them to stop being bothered. I’m sure they’ll love working for you. [Am I doing this passive-aggressive thing right?] ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/69 "2022-08-24T16:51:23Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > Did you try just not being irritated? Some people here seem to think that’s the proper approach. That’s an interesting suggestion. I will just not be irritated! . . . Nope, didn’t work. Still aggravated. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/70 "2022-08-24T17:04:35Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > I would say “As per our morning conversation”, But would you ever talk that way? If you would never say that to someone in person, why would you go out of your way to do corporate speak in an email. I know people who pepper their emails with Serious Business Phrases, and in their case it’s “Because that’s how I’ve always done it.” and “I want to sound ‘professional’, in hopes of climbing the mid-managerial ladder.” Sorry, I did some corporate writing and had “ **Write the way you would talk to someone in person** ” drilled into my head. . edit: Just looked at **ftg** ’s list upthread, and the Handy Hint™ I learned would keep people from using a lot of “corporate catchphrases”. I mean, you bump into a friend on the street, would you start off with “Please advise:” or “Circling back…” or “Noted.”? ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats2)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/71 "2022-08-24T17:15:12Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > No. Just clunky. Context is a thing. Clunky? Good god, are we going for avant-garde sentence structure in our emails now??? ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/72 "2022-08-24T18:27:07Z")
Yes, clunky. In what way are your suggestions an improvement on… 1. What vacation days do you want to take? 2. Your presentation went well. 3. There’s still cake in the break room. 4. Happy to do all the things you asked me to do. 5. Thanks for babysitting my kid. 6. I’m still happy with our plans. 7. Our project is going well. 8. I found all the advice is still working out well. 9. I now have the money I owe you. 10. Everything is coming up Milhouse! ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats2)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/73 "2022-08-24T18:45:18Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Yes, clunky. In what way are your suggestions an improvement on… > > 1. What vacation days do you want to take? Well for one thing, a “please advise” in this example shows that you need this information in the course of your office manager or payroll duties, and not just as an item of small talk. I could do more, but those weren’t my examples and I’m only really interested in defending the use of “please advise”. ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/74 "2022-08-24T20:08:41Z")
I do not write/email the way I converse. Two different avenues of communication. I like to be terse in my emails. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/75 "2022-08-24T20:42:19Z")
I once had a client who was in conservative politics and played an active role in the planning and execution of the 2nd Iraq War. At one point, they were being excessively demanding regarding some product delays and other things, so I made a point of working the phrase “Mission Accomplished” into a couple of emails. It became our in-house nickname for the client. Now, THAT was passive aggressive. Client later became a big anti-Trumper, and all was forgiven. ---
**Author:** ![Limmin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f04885/32.png) [@Limmin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Limmin)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/76 "2022-08-24T21:24:10Z")
My emails tend to be calibrated toward assertiveness. If I want /need action on something, I will ask nicely, but it will be worded clearly. “Friendly reminder” doesn’t work for me, at all. I just say “reminder…” What happens if we ignore the “friendly” reminder? Will the emailer reveal their true, evil self and become unfriendly? I strive to avoid BS, corporate speak as much as I can. While there’s a whole other thread or two devoted to this, let me say I can’t stand the phrases “going forward” or “drill down.” \>shudder\< ---
**Author:** ![Mallard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Mallard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mallard)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2022, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/77 "2022-08-24T22:10:36Z")
I don’t see much if anything wrong with those expressions. Have had nearly all used on me plus I’ve used them myself. A little silly making anything out of them. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2022, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/78 "2022-08-25T00:54:31Z")
A lot of office phrases are overused or attempts to make one sound more diplomatic or smarter than is the case. Although any phrase can be said in an aggressive tone or meant maliciously, I don’t see much that is necessarily aggressive about most of the phrases people have mentioned. I don’t love the phrase “no problem” but it tends to be meant in a fairly benign way. I would not spend too much time overthinking these. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2022, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/79 "2022-08-25T12:16:03Z")
> [@Mallard](#): > > I don’t see much if anything wrong with those expressions. Have had nearly all used on me plus I’ve used them myself. A little silly making anything out of them. Agree totally. How about a boss expressing “Thanks” to their underlings? Isn’t that the function of the paycheck? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2022, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097/80 "2022-08-25T12:38:04Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > How about a boss expressing “Thanks” to their underlings? Isn’t that the function of the paycheck? 😃 I’d favor a boss expressing appreciation verbally as well as financially. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-consider-these-phrases-passive-aggressive/970097.md?page=5)